Love and Wolves
by stephanayynayy
Summary: All I knew, was that she didn’t belong here. And I didn’t belong with her. All I knew right now, was that I was going to have to defy fate to be able to keep her forever. No matter how much I hated it, I was a werewolf, and she was a vampire. UNIQUE!
1. Chapter 1

Chapter1

(Renesmee)

I woke in a complete daze, huddled into my self, attempting to fight the chill of the morning draft, blowing through the wide open window.

Restlessly, I twisted myself away from the breeze into the comfort of my toasted sheets, desperately searching for more sleep to arrive. Just as I was sliding back into unconsciousness, I heard the creak of my bedroom door. _Crap. Monday. School. Perfect. No, I wouldn't open my eyes, please, don't make me open my eyes. _

"Sweetheart," I heard my mother purr, her voice symphonious, attempting to gracefully wake me, as she did every morning, for the dreaded school day ahead of me.

Not today. I was far to exhausted to get out of this bed.

"Ness, time to get up honey," I felt an ice cold hand gently massage my shoulder with pulsation.

"Ugghhhh. Give me another hour, or five." I groaned, not budging from the cocoon I had made of my sheets.

"Nessie, come on now, get up." She said now with a little more affectionate authority, squeezing my shoulder with a more urgent rhythm.

"I honestly don't think I can. Not today, just let me sleep." I yawned.

The weight shifted off my bed, and half a second later, I heard the dreaded screech of my curtains sliding apart, letting in a pool of unwanted sunlight.

The beam was magnified by the gleaming luminosity of the diamonds reflecting off of my mother, now sitting back in the same spot as before on my bed.

"Come on, it's a beautiful day for once, you know how rare this is in Forks. You don't want to miss it do you?"

Damn. I would be the only person in my family of vampires that was able to walk into the sun without turning into a 1,000 karat diamond; I would be the only person in my family of vampires that didn't have to hide from the world when the sun was out. School, rain or shine.

"I wish I could care a little less," I murmured, bringing the sheets above my eyes and sliding into the middle of my bed.

"Would you kindly close my curtains now, Mom? I'm so tired. Besides, I think I'm coming down with something; I couldn't go to school today if I wanted to. I'm oddly congested, probably just a cold. I should really sleep this off, Night." I managed a few feeble coughs then smiled to myself as I nuzzled myself into a more comfortable position, if that was doable.

"Good God Renesmee, every morning? This is getting ridiculous." I could almost hear her roll her eyes as she tugged my sheets from over top of me. I heaved with all my strength, waking me as a desperately tried to enclose the warmth inside my bed. I heard the sheet rip in half. I groaned with resistance and held my own, my legs curling up into my chest as tight as they would go, covered by my arms, and the small scrap of merino wool and Egyptian cotton that remand.

"That is your thirteenth set of sheets this month!" She pitched what was left of the cloth back on my bed with great force, ruining my makeshift cocoon.

"This is hardly a good example of a healthy morning ritual. Now get up." She said, sounding irritated now, the tenderness in her earlier tone shielded by her frustration of now having to replace my bed sheets, again.

When I giggled, now awake, but not moving out of spite, she lifted me effortlessly and set me to my feet, scowling.

I smirked at her ruefully; as I straightened out the t-shirt and boxers I was wearing.

"Mornin' Mommy," I snickered, amused by her perpetual grimace. "You are looking absolutely radiant today, you're practically glowing! What have you done with your hair? It is settling just perfectly."

Even though I was trying to replace the scowl on her face with a smirk as childish as mine, I wasn't being as sarcastic as she thought.

My mother was always breathtakingly beautiful. I was constantly envious of the way her golden eyes matched the lustrous flow of her dark chocolate hair. Today she was dressed in a pair of blue jeans, like always, and a dark, buttoned, laced navy blue blouse. She wore blue more than any other color, mostly to please my Dad. It was his favorite color on her.

After at least a minute of nothing but the sound of my heartbeat, her grimace remained.

"God. Okay, I'm sorry. It won't happen again."

"Yeah, I've heard that before." She chuckled. Despite her vexation, the corners of her mouth turned into a wide grin. For whatever reason, her grin turned into an emotional crease in her eyebrows. She leaned down and kissed me on the forehead, pulling me into a firm embrace. If she could have cried, she most defiantly would have.

"Uhmm…Mom? What's going on?" I gasped, the strength of her hug almost cutting off my air supply. She noticed my struggle and set me free.

As I gasped for air, she watched, sniggering apologetically. Placing her hands on my either sides of my face, she kissed my forehead again, and then gazed back into my eyes, scorching with pride.

I didn't understand what brought this on? Had I won the Nobel Prize in my sleep? I wasn't quite certain I was worthy of the Nobel Prize? I hadn't done anything noble recently, or ever, now that I think about it.

I refocused my attention; confused; on the radiating fires of gold she called her eyes. Why couldn't I have inherited those?

My eyes were plain, brown, just brown.

Oh, what I would do for metallic eyes like the rest of my family had.

I remembered, for the both of us, the last time she looked at me this way…Oh, right. How could I possibly have forgotten? Ugh, it was my birthday.

I recalled memories of her and daddy, waking me ever so crudely, lifting me by my legs and hands from my bed, swinging me horizontally like a pendulum, laughing and singing happy birthday like an orchestra of chimes until I begged to be released. I remembered the year before that, being woken peacefully by my father, who had taken the liberty of preparing me my favorite breakfast of French toast and bacon, for me to enjoy in the comfort of my own bed. Why couldn't they do that every year? That's what I call a birthday wake-up. Before I could finish remembering the year Aunt Alice woke me with a squeal of enthusiastic delight, as I opened my eyes to my entire family beaming at me with those metallic eyes of theirs while I woke in complete awe, to see my room saturated with streamers and balloons, my mother was pulling me back into her frozen arms, giving me goose bumps, softy crying a tearless sob. Here it comes.

"Oh! Nessie, I remember it like it was yesterday. I was only 7 years ago that you were just my little nudger." She pulled be packed at arms length, examining my 16 year old body.

Due to the fact that I was oddly enough, one of the very, very few half-human, half-vampires in the whole world, I grew a lot faster than other humans, or vampires, witch could be extremely painful at times.

I remembered, for the both, of us the nights I would spend curled up in a ball, dripping with sweat, screaming in agony, as my body would grow a few years worth, in only a few days. We both quietly winced from the memory. Now, it being my 7th birthday, it was only a matter of time for my last growth. I would have the body of a 20 year old, and the mind of a 30 year old.

My mother was sobbing again, unstoppable, delicate, tearless sobs. She crushed me to her. I hugged her back with adortion. She always got emotional on my birthdays. It wasn't her fault; I understood she couldn't help herself. I loved her with the same amount of compassion. So I hugged her back, letting her have her moment, waiting with patience for Dad to come in a break her away from me.

I was absolutely certain that he was the only person in the world that could.

She hugged me continuously. Blubbering old memories she had of me as a kid.

I laughed with her as she continued to reminisce; only making her hug me tighter with every chortle I dared let escape. She played with my hair as she reminded me of the first time she held me, I absent mindedly pictured the moment in my head, for the both of us, only to bring on a new round of sobs. I loved her, but I hated these types of public displays of affection.

I was getting frustrated with my mind reading father. I would bet my life on the fact he was listening to my every thought right now, antagonizing me by not stepping in, and calming down this emotional roller coaster. I could picture him laughing silently at my discomfort. I thought noiselessly in my head to my dad,

"_You're not amusing, now get in here and help me out before I suffocate."_

I waited another 5 minutes, no rescue. Oh, I'm sure he was loving this. I stood there in her arms, rubbing her back, trying to calm her down.

"Mom, seriously, this is not necessary, I'm not going anywhere. Scouts honor." I accidentally remembered, again, for the both of us, the time that we learned I was actually an immortal like my parents, that I would stop aging at 7, permanently paused in my form, and would continue living, just like the rest of my family.

I wonder if once I was technically "immortal" if I would acquire the metallic eyes. Doubt it, I wasn't that lucky.

With this memory, she lost it. Talking about how happy she was in that moment, how it was too much for her, the thought to her of all of us, everybody, together forever, technically.

"_DAD! PLEASE!" _I shouted in my head at the top of my lungs, sparing her feelings by not letting her sense my anxiety. I felt horribly guilty, wanting to be free of my mothers' tearless embrace, with this type of love coursing through her for her only daughter. She just wanted to express it to me; I wish I could have found some way to comfort her without making her more emotional. But I couldn't, so I just listened to her carry on with the memories.

She loved me more than her own life. I knew that, I saw it everyday with the locket she gave me for my first Christmas. I remembered her giving me the golden, heart shaped ornament, which still hangs around my neck everyday.

Inside, was a picture of me, her and daddy, and a French inscription reading _'more than my own life'_. I treasured it since the moment I saw it. That locket would never escape my neck for a second. The memory, of course, had mom even more emotional than before, if that was possible.

"_I will give you 10 seconds,10 seconds before I break free of her kung- foo grip and go recycle your Volvo into a soda can."_ I hissed in my head, "_10._" Nothing, "_9._" Nada, "_8._" No dice.

I heard his buoyant laugh come closer as he walked, as slowly as he possible could, to peek his head into my room to see my hysterical mother, holding me like we were going down in the Titanic.

I glared at him over her shoulder, hoping to sear him with my eyes, flaming with hostility. His returning smile was radiant. He busted into unrestrained laughter, listening to mom swoon over my first words.

"_This will be avenged. If it's the last thing I do." _He found my threats hysterical; it infuriated me even more that even though it was me he was making fun of; his obnoxious snicker could have passed for a sonata.

Here came my sweet relief.

He glided, struggling to compose his face, to where my mother sulked, groping me with her mournful bliss.

As he embraced the back of her waist she finally let go of mine, giving me free reign to take the deep breaths I defiantly needed. He held her there for a moment, shushing her gently, calming her with each word he spoke. She turned around, throwing her arms around his neck.

"Edward." She cried into his shoulder, as he took her into his arms, kissing her tenderly on her temple, pulling her closer by the small of her back.

"Oh my Bella, you define melodramatic," he whispered into her ear, with still a hint of mockery left in his voice.

She whined reluctantly into his shoulder, not looking up. "Come on love, cut it out, she will have hundreds more birthdays, and I," He stopped when he heard the grunt in my thoughts, and looked up at me through his lashes, still smirking.

"_Hah! I? Try me._" I thought, annoyed.

He just continued, "Cannot deal with your psychotic breaks every time one of them comes around." He accidentally let the slightest chuckle escape his mouth, now shaped into a pin straight line, trying to compose his amusement of his wife at her redundant outburst.

Without taking her head from his shoulder, she slammed her foot onto his with magnificent force.

"DAMMIT' BELLA! OW!" he screamed, looking at her for some sort of explanation.

Without taking her head from his shoulder, she giggled. I joined her, accenting her sopranic bells. And moments later, he finally added the lower bear-tone octave to our acappella.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter2

(Renesmee)

After leaning up on her tip-toes to give him his peck of forgiveness, she turned to me, both of them smiling adoringly.

"Sorry," She sniffled, in spite of herself. She turned to look at dad and then back to me. "We will leave you alone to get ready."

She kissed me again on the forehead and brushed my hair out of my face, unlaced her fingers from dads, and disappeared from my room so fast, I would I missed it if I blinked.

I turned to find my annoyingly smug father sitting on the edge of my bed, petting the stop next to him, gesturing me to sit. I crossed the room, reluctantly, and sat next to him. He put his arm around me and I laid my head on his shoulder as he massaged mine.

"_Care to explain yourself?_" I thought, just incase mom was in hearing range, witch 99.9% of the time, she was. His answering chuckle calmed me down. He patted my head.

"I had to give her the moment with you, she is amazed that we have all made it this far. It was beyond her wildest dreams that she would have a beautiful 15 year old, just 7 years after she was married, dear, as it was beyond mine. We are so proud of you." I almost thought I heard his voice crack on those last words. I smiled.

"_Thanks Daddy._" Was all I could think. He leaned to kiss my temple and toke my face between his frosted hands, looking me in the eyes sincere importance.

"Please don't complain too much today, everybody is very excited about your birthday, we haven't had a real one since your mothers. Promise?" I looked back at him and nodded, rolling my eyes. He chuckled bells. He kissed my cheek before getting up and walking towards the door, putting his hands in the pocket of his jeans.

"I remember saying almost those exact words to Bella on her 18th birthday. You two are too similar for your own good." That thought comforted me whenever anybody mentioned it, i loved that I was just like my mom, who wouldn't want to be her? He smiled at me, gloriously, pride steaming off of him as he listened to my thoughts.

I wanted to break the silence, in case it got awkward. "I better get dressed Dad. I've got to be at school in like an hour." He nodded.

"Alright, I'll leave you too it." He turned and walked closer to the door before turning around again. "I love you sweetheart," he said to me, smiling at me with a depth of the emotion in his eyes, an emotion that I didn't understand.

I gave him the warm smile I'm sure he was looking for. "I love you too Daddy."

***

I intended to rush through my morning routine, probably having to skip breakfast to get to school on time. I practically ran to my bathroom, grabbing a towel and a set of clean clothes for the day. Since it was my birthday, maybe nobody would lecture me for wearing sweats and a t-shirt to school.

My shower this morning was better than most. Mom and Dad must have restocked my toiletries as a modest birthday gift. I would thank them later. Today I had at least for or five choices of separate types of shampoos, body washes, shower gels, and scented, exfoliating soaps. New body sponges hung on the suction hangers, new razors, and shaving creams, outside on the counter sat powders, balms and lotions, waiting to pamper my every crevasse.

I let the hot water calm me down, let it council me to be respectful today to my family and friends, that are only going try to make me feel special on my birthday. They meant well, it wouldn't be so tough. I indulged in the new scents that filled my bathroom, washing myself lazily with different combinations of different washes and gels until I was certain I couldn't smell any better. I rigorously brushed my teeth, trying to conceal all traces of morning breath.

I dried my hair, pulled it into a high ponytail, brushing my bangs to my left side, and dressed quickly. I wasn't in the mood to get yelled at by Alice for wearing sweats, so I substituted them for a pair of jeans and pulled on a mint green v-neck t-shirt.

When I ran to the living room, I heard a choppy version of Moonlight Sonata, it sounded like a monkey trying to pay Beethoven. When I looked to see where the noise was coming from, I saw that Dad was trying to teach Mom how to play piano. I stopped to observe them, admiring their synchronization for each other.

Standing behind her, he guided her fingers with his, trying to teach her to play the bridge correctly.

After at least 5 tries she slammed the keys, crossing her arms to her chest. He laughed at her frustration, kissed the top of her head before sitting next to her. She wrapped her arms around his waist and stared at his fingers, moving swiftly, casually, across the keys, while he played her lullaby.

It was a lullaby that I can't remember going a solitary day, my whole life without hearing. I remembered hundreds of occasions watching my Dad play Mom her lullaby. I remember the emotion that took over her features every time she would hear it.

I remembered last year, when they got into that massive fight over mom wanting to learn to sky dive. I remembered watching them yell at each other. I remembered Dad walking out, staying at Carlisle and Esmes' house for the night. I remembered talking to my Mom in her room, "I mean, he can just be so unnecessarily overprotective! I can't have him worrying about me getting hurt forever. I don't need to be controlled or sheltered anymore. Please, what's a little sky dive going to do to me? I'm impenetrable for Christ's sake!" I remembered laughing at her determination, while me Alice and Esme just tried to explain to her that he just didn't like taking too many chances. I remembered the next morning. I remembered making my breakfast, and watching Dad march right through the door, and directly to the piano. I remembered watching mom come into the living room through the bedroom, giving up the second she saw him sitting there, playing her lullaby, without looking at the keys, staring at her with request for forgiveness written all over his face. I remembered her running and jumping into his embrace, feeling uncomfortable watching them melt into each others arms.

I broke from the recollection to see my Dad, sitting with a huge smile on his face, remembering with me. Without breaking his rhythm, he leaned over and kissed my Mom with what it seemed to be, the most love he could muster. He looked away from her and back to the keys, transitioning from my Moms lullaby to my own.

This was my favorite sound in the world. This lullaby was probably the one sound, the one thing that reassured me the most. It was my rock. It gave me whatever I needed whenever I heard it. I closed my eyes, letting the melody flow through me, hypnotizing each fraction of my body with its breeze of a melody.

I remembered all the times that my Dad would play this for me, every night before I would go to bed, every Sunday morning while preparing my breakfast. But most of all, I remembered my Dad playing for me during my growth spurts.

I remembered, for the both of us, me, writhing in agony, screaming at the top of my voice, for somebody to just kill me. Like i always did during my growths. I would cry out for hours, twitching on the ground flopping like a fish out of water. Nothing would diminish the pain coursing through my body, flooding through my veins, giving me constant monthly reminders of what I was.

I remembered about 4 years ago, I had one of the worst growths of my existence. The pain was entirely unbearable. My senses overpowered over me; I didn't know who I was, where I was, or why I was being punished. I have never felt anything more excruciating in my life. I remembered, through the fire, through the flames, hearing my lullaby over the sounds of my blood-curdling shrieks of torture. And in that moment, it was my constant. I focused all my energy on it, away from the pain that tried to swallow me whole. I pictured the notes dancing in my head through the inferno, I saw my lullaby being acted out to me, and it brought me back.

The memory was enough for both of us to come out of it shuddering. I slung my book bag around my back, took the keys off the counter, and said goodbye to my parents after slipping on a pair of flip flops, then headed for the door.

It really was a beautiful day. The sun was immaculate, warming my skin when I walked out from under the shade of the front porch. Unfortunately for me, my skin didn't reflect rainbows. I guess I was going to school.

I walked down the marble walk to the driveway, up another walk way to the garage. I opened the garage door with a button on my key chain and the giant doors coiled up into themselves, revealing 2 cars and 2 motorcycles in our 4 car garage.

I wasn't technically, legally licensed to drive, but I was well taught by Carlisle, Emmet and Daddy. It helped that the only legal authority running the streets was my dear Grandpa Swan, and his friendly deputies. I wasn't too worried about the repercussions of driving without a license.

I decided to take the Dads Volvo today, instead of the Aston Martin Vanquish Daddy got Mom for an engagement present. We all always preferred to drive the Volvo. The three of us didn't like the attention that came from the other car. It usually only got driven by Emmet or Jasper. It bothered me that I still didn't have my own car.

I shrank into the black leather interior of the Volvo, throwing my bag in the passenger seat, playing with the CD's in the stereo before starting the car and pulling out.

Before I could get out of the driveway the car suddenly stalled. Confused, I switched gears and tried to move again, but it wouldn't budge. I glanced out the back window to see why the car wouldn't reverse. When I didn't see anything I restarted the car, and tried to back out again. The car went back maybe half a foot before stopping again. Irritated, I jumped out the car to see what the obstruction was.

While walking around the rear of the car, I heard a soft, husky snicker and turned quickly to the dark corners of the garage, trying to spot where it came from. When I didn't find anything, I turned back around skeptically, trying to center my attention on the car, before I was late for school.

Unexpectedly, I was being forced into enormous, hot arms. The mysterious arms spun me around over and over, squeezing the breath out of me, giggling with strong, gruff delight, before setting me to my feet and tossing my hair with a massive fist.

My face was painted with annoyance while I gathered myself, trying to fix my hair and take a few deep breaths. I look up to see what idiot and his phantom hands would be stupid enough to piss me off today, of all days. Prepare face the wrath bitches. Once I saw him I don't know why I even bothered looking, I already knew whose face the arms belonged to.

My breath caught. I looked up expecting to see a face, but instead greeted by built, broad, bare shoulders. I looked up farther; searching the shadowed silk of his russet skin for the huge, luminous smile I knew was waiting for me. I came to the round, plump of his chin before looking upward directly toward the beam of his pearls for teeth. His smile was much wider than I expected it to be, gleaming light from the sun as it shone from ear to ear, forming the dimples on his cheeks that appeared with even the slightest facial expression. I saved his chocolate, almond eyes shining with excitement for last. Mainly for the sole purpose of trying to keep the look of contempt on my face as long as possible, knowing that the second I saw his eyes my frustration would evaporate into the pure joy brought to me by seeing my best friend, my brother, my wonder wall. My Jacob.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter3

(Jacob)

The look in her on her face was priceless. I couldn't help but laugh when she tried to be intimidating, she couldn't hurt a squirrel if she wanted too. To spare her feelings, instead of giving into my instincts and bursting into usual laughter, I just stood there and let my delight to see her take stretch across my face.

I allowed myself only a few minutes to myself a day, to do nothing but just look at her, to admire the steady stream of radiating beauty that rolled off of her like waves. I decided I could spare myself a few seconds right now, before she noticed my stare.

Angel. Everyday, looking at her was a new explosion of adoration. She flung her perfect silk waves of bronze curls out of the ponytail I ruined and let it fall past her tiny shoulders and down her back. The top she wore hugged every slender curve along her torso, fitting her like a second skin. The color green she was wearing must have been created especially for her; I have never seen another color go so flawlessly with the pale of her skin and the permanent flush of her cheeks. I watched her full lips curve into my favorite crooked smirk in slow motion as I followed the path of her cheekbone up to her auburn eyes, hiding behind the fringe of her full, thick lashes. In that moment, I couldn't visualize any living being more perfect than the goddess floating in front of me. Amazing; Perfect; Gorgeous.

I was pulled back from my reverie by Nessies repetitive slaps; witch felt more like pillows getting thrown at me. "Jake!"- She said between slaps "Jake!!"- I pretended to still be incoherent, enjoying her frustration as she "slap" me over and over, on my cheek on my head "JAKE!?"- She punched me in the stomach, and then recoiled with pain. She stopped and just stared at me, now looking concerned. It took every fiber of my being not to change my expression; I took me even more will power not to erupt in laughter. Her outbursts were always hilarious when she caught me staring into space for too long. She kept slapping me, punching me, kicking me. My face was persistent in looking like I was still dreaming of her. After about 2 more minutes, her voice was tender, "Uhmm, _Jacob_…Are you okay?"- She placed her hand on my face, searching for my eyes to come alive, remembering when she was 4(or 14), when we spent an afternoon climbing to the top of almost every tree in the woods behind her cottage. One of the many days I spent earning and savoring her smiles and giggles. To have her face so close to mine, to feel her breath sting my senses, was worth her concern. I didn't get to have moments like these with her. Not yet, at least. _Cool it. _

My empty face morphed to a wide smile, easing her anxiety, despite my urge to mash her into my arms again. Her face look relieved as she pretended to wipe sweat off her brow while she playfully exhaled with a small chuckle.

"Damn Jake, you were gone for like a whole 5 minutes tha- AHHH!"

Before she could even finish her sentence, I threw her over my back, and started running for the woods behind the cottage, smiling even more mischievously as I heard her giggle from behind me, punching by back. I ran for the trees, the both of us laughing together the whole way. She loved my spontaneity, and I loved giving her what she wanted.

"Happy Birthday Kid," I chuckled mid-sprint. Her returning laugh was my favorite song.

"Jake, I'm feeling kind of sick," she said, still singing.

"Hang tight, we'll be there in a sec."

"I can run myself you know,"

"Just stay put, were almost there."

"And where is there exactly?" she said, her hair tickling the back of my bare knees.

"You'll see," I smiled, taking her from my back and setting her on the groove behind my neck, between my shoulder blades.

"For your sake, you better be taking me to school Jacob."

"For my sake?" I questioned her, with a hint of sarcasm in my tone.

"For your sake." She assured, pecking the top of my head with her angelic lips. Heaven.

"Well, I'm not taking you to school, that's for sure." She groaned.

"What?" I asked.

"I'm gonna have to kill you now Jake, and that's no good."

I laughed. "I would pay good money to see you try to kill me, squirt."

"Do you doubt my ability to kick your ass?"

"Is that serious question?" She swatted the top of my head while I laughed hysterics.

"I could beat you down if I really wanted too Jacob, don't let my exterior fool you, I'm like a bobcat."

"HA! Ness, now your just being ludicrous."

"Am I?" she asked, swatting me once more.

"You always are." I said, hiking her more securely on my shoulders, shaking her with more force than needed, in response to her smacks.

"You should take me to school, before this gets physical my friend."

_By all means, be my guest._

"Bring it." She slid herself off of my shoulders, flipping and landing in front of me, with a grin on her face that made my head spin.

"Oh, it's already been brought" She put her ninja hands in front of her, the only thing that would have made this moment funnier would have been, maybe, her whipping out a pair of numb-chucks. I doubled over in laughter.

"You... have... GOT to be kidding… me." I spat out between breaths. "Are we really… about to have this… conversation?" She was pretty strong, but no where near kicking _my_ ass, maybe Seth or Leah's- yeah, defiantly Leah's.

Next thing I know, I being trampled, the object of my imprintation, laughing while she hurls me to the ground. She straddles me, and holds her arms in a deadlock over mine, trying to prevent me from throwing her off of me, _as if_. I hear her counting down from 10 in the background as I marvel, starring into her smiling eyes, which are locked on mine. I could have easily pushed her off of me with my pinkie finger. But I honestly don't think I was physically capable of movement, or speech for that matter. All I could see was this girl, the only girl in the world, and her dazzling eyes just inches from mine. I could have drowned in them. And I did, for 10 seconds.

"Pin." She said proudly, touching her finger to my nose, forcing it instinctively wrinkle, stirring me from my daze. Then, wiping imaginary dust from her shoulders, she lifted herself from me. "Better luck next time sukkkka." She said through a chuckle, "I'm kinda surprised Jakey, I didn't think you were that weak."

I decided I would retaliate, there is no way I would let her think I was weak. "Oh, hell no." I said, grabbing her by her hips and pinning her by her waist in the softest patch of grass I could find. She laughed as she struggled under my weight. I decided to throw the match, letting up a little bit so she could lift my arm and squirm out from under me. She hopped on top of my back in a blink of an eye, trying to pin me to the grass on my stomach. I rolled around and grabbed her, then shot up in a crouched standing position, lifting her with the palms of my hands over my shoulders. I stood straighter, and triumphantly held my prize.

"What was that now, about me being weak? Ill give you a chance to take that back."

"No way,"

Listening to her laugh the whole time, I spun her then threw her up into the air, reaching to catch her in the cradle of my arms before letting her fall to the ground. Her wild chortles calmed as I slung her from side to side running deeper into the trees. Enjoying her, enjoying herself. Adorable.

"Take it back Nessie!" I was still running at top speed, smelling her hair as it flew around us, engulfing my senses with the smell of coconut and pomegranate, an oddly magical combination.

She hung tighter around my neck, her face delighted from the speed. "Okay, Jake I'm sorry. You're the strongest puppy in the pen." She paused while I smiled with victory. "I wouldn't wanna crush your delicate feelings; so ill refrain from telling you the inconvenient truth."

I crossed my eyebrows at her. "Which is?"

"You're as flimsy as tissue paper," she tucked a hair behind my ear and smoothed it, as if to prove her preposterous point.

"I'm not even going to respond to psycho antagonistic remarks" I said, accelerating up the mountain.

"But it's so much more entertaining," She pretended to pout. "How will I get my kicks if you don't respond to my psychotic antagonizing Jacob?" She lost her game face when I kissed her forehead.

"We're here."

***

I utterly could not believe it. I climbed out of Jacobs arms to explore. It was the most beautiful place I have ever seen in my whole life. The grass was greener than I ever thought possible, the flowers, more colorful than I had imagined. Small splashes of purple, yellow, and white highlighted the grass so ideally, I wanted to get on my knees and demand to thank the angel from heaven that could create a place so breathtaking. I took off my shoes, eager to feel the soft, cool, tickle of the grass on my skin, between my toes. I glided over to the shade of a nearby tree, and lay under it, letting the sounds and smells of my dream Eden intoxicate my body, overwhelming me with such happiness, my eyes swelled with tears.

The Meadow.

My parent's meadow. The meadow where they fell in love. Mom has described every detail of this place to me so many times, the picture I had in my head is not a fraction of as beautiful as this sanctuary really is. I would picture it in my head during my growths, while Dad played me my lullabies. The music in my head would dance through my happy place, the Meadow. I closed my eyes, playing my lullaby in my head, note for note. In the cool grass the breeze surrounded me, allowing more goose bumps grow over every inch of my body. I have been dreaming of this place since I was 2; of lying in the same grass where my parents did, underneath the same tree, memorizing the same smells and letting the same sun warm my skin. It was more than I imagined it to be.

I opened my eyes to the canopy of leaves above me, blurred by my tears, blinking them back before they pooled over. I looked at Jacob. My Jacob. He stood still, letting his long, black hair blow with the gentle wind; he hadn't moved a muscle since we arrived. He just watched me, cautiously. He had just given me one of the best gifts I would ever receive in my life. I glided toward him, memorizing the feeling of the grass on my feet.

I stretched on the very tips of my toes, and he instinctively pulled me up into his arms so I could reach his face. I put his warm face between my hands, and looked deep his eyes, as far down as I could go. His expression was indecipherable. I felt his hands tremble beneath me.

"Jake-" new tears welled in my eyes, flooding over before I could stop them. I didn't take me eyes away from his. "Jake...I-" I was speechless. I kissed his forehead, his cheeks, his nose. "I don't think there are words." I smiled, silent tears running over my lips. "Thank you so much Jacob; you have no idea what you have done for me." I threw my arms around his neck and hugged him close to me. "I don't deserve to even know a person like you." I looked back at him, his expression still stone. "You are the best friend a person could ask for." I smiled again, this time a wider grin. "I love you for doing this. I love you so much. This place is magical." I kissed his cheek again before climbing out of his arms that were overheating me against the sun. I walked around for awhile, feeling the rocks, the trees. I wanted to distinguish every crevasse of this place.

With the blink of an eye, I was being dashed back down the mountain, Jakes sturdy, blazing arms wrapping me into a cradle. I wanted to throw a tantrum, how dare he take me away from my happy place. He sped twice as fast as he had when we ran up the mountain.

"JAKE!" I screamed, more loudly than id meant to. "Jake! Please! I don't wanna leave yet. Why are you going so fast?-" No answer. "What is your problem?! Jake, please, will you take me back." I looked at his face. It stayed glued in the same lifeless expression as it had 10 minutes ago. "JAKE! STOP!" I bellowed.

He looked at me, a line between his eyebrows from my over reaction.

"Jak-"

"I lost track of time Ness, you are already 20 minutes late for school. Sorry." His expression went back to nothingness.

"Ugh! I don't want to go to school; I want to go back to the meadow. Jacob, take me back to the meadow." I started crying. He didn't answer me. He just held me tighter, running faster, his expression unchanging. Something was wrong.

We ran in silence for about 5 minutes. Then, I whimpered in defeat.

"Will you take me back some other time at least?" I asked reluctantly. He nodded.

"Promise?" I urged.

"Sure, sure."

I was standing in front of Forks High school within 15 minutes. Jake didn't even say goodbye before running off back into the woods behind my school. I was astounded.

What just happened?


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter4

(Jacob)

I needed to think. And as much as I hated it, I needed to be away from her. I held her in my arms, probably tighter than I should. The stubborn expression on her face in any situation would have made me laugh. I couldn't laugh, I couldn't think, I couldn't breath. I needed to be alone with my thoughts, my unbelievably inappropriate thoughts. We ran in silence the rest of the way to school. I felt instant guilt having not given her a proper, fun-loving goodbye, especially on her birthday.

I felt horribly taking her away from that meadow. I know how she's dreamt of it since she was a baby. I knew it was the one place she's always wanted to go. I knew Edward and Bella would be pissed at me for showing it to her instead of them. They planned on taking her there for her last growth, making a celebration out of it when she was fully matured. But for some reason, taking her there was something I thought I needed to do. I wanted us to have a special place too, even though it technically belonged to Edward and Bella first. I didn't mind, and neither would she. It's too beautiful to belong to just two people.

I planned on staying there all day with her. I planned on Quil bringing us a massive picnic lunch with all her favorites, then going hunting together before I gave her the birthday gift I got for her. I wanted to lie there all day in the sun with her, earning smiles, savoring laughs.

I was sprinting without even realizing it, probably half way to Canada by now. I fought my natural instincts with every step I took. My body itched to change into the monster I was, the wolf I was. I wanted to erupt into the frustration I felt with myself, I needed to explode through the unbridled longing that seeped through my every pore.

As much as I wanted to change, I didn't want the pack eavesdropping in on my thoughts right now. I needed to be the only person in my head, which rarely happens.

I slowed to a stop, and feel into a pile of damp leaves, taking slow, controlled breaths. I needed to calm down before my body ended up changing of its own accord. I lay there, keeping my breathing rhythmic, and closed my eyes.

Of course, there she was, as always, the second I shut my lids. She was laying in the meadow under the shadow of the trees surrounding her. Her eyes were closed, but I saw a tear sliding its way down her cheek and around her ear. I watched her chest move up and down with the steady beat of her heart. I couldn't move. I could have stood there and watched her in that little bubble of perfection for hours. I would have let those hours turn into days for all I cared.

I wanted to hold her there, under that tree. I wanted her tears to evaporate under the heat of my fingers. I wanted to watch her open her eyes. I wanted to see the smile on her face when she saw that I was there with her, smiling back. That was all okay. That was normal. That was constant.

I was used to that feeling. Since I first looked her in the eyes, I knew that it would be my life's work to make sure she was happy. I was sure of the fact that she would be the one person in the whole world that I needed to be happy. And I knew that I wanted to be the same thing for her. She was my atmosphere. Her happiness, was required for my own, and that would never change.

The past six years, Renesmee was my oxygen. I loved watching her grow, watching her learn. I loved every moment we spent together. Since she was born, I had more fun with her than anybody else. I would watch her play for hours when she hunted; I would watch her chase birds up trees and over mountains, chasing her and demanding her to come back when she went too far, and scolding her when she would laugh at my scolding voice. I thought about all the times I would take her swimming at La Push, on First Beach. I sighed to myself when I remembered last summer when she forced me to take her cliff diving.

***

"UGH! God Ness, come back, you're too far out!" I yelled to her from where I stopped. We were playing chicken, and that damn girl would not stop swimming. My breaths were short and fast, full of exhaustion and anxiety. I hated when she took risks. I could barley see the beach from where we were, and the water was dark and freezing, I almost got a chill. I couldn't imagine how cold she must be. "Renesmee Carlie Cullen! Get back here! YOU WIN!!" I thought I heard a giggle over her heaving.

"Awe, come on Jake," she screamed to me, still swimming. "Where's the wolf in ya?" I couldn't help it, I chuckled.

"Back at the shore, where we should be," I called to her. She stopped swimming. Just as I thought she gave in, she put the hair in front of her eyes behind her ear and kept swimming. I growled.

"Ness! I'm not joking! Your Dad will snap my neck if you drown or something, you don't want me to die, do ya kid?" I pleaded. She giggled and turned around to face me, the smile on her face was exhausted. This couldn't go on much longer.

"What's in it for me?" she asked. I should have known. She had a plan, of course.

"Well, along with the fact that I won't be dead? I suppose we would discuss some other terms, once you're sitting on that shore." She huffed a smirk, and began to paddle back. Once she got close enough, she climbed on my back, and I swam us at lightning speed back to shore. She giggled before I landed on the sand, laying her next to where I sprawled out, trying to catch my breath. I listened to her splash back into the water. I sat up as quick as I could on my elbow, eyeing her suspiciously.

"Simmer down; I'll stay within a 50 foot radius." I lay back down, watching the clouds, listening to the waves. I let a few minutes pass, and relaxed myself.

"I inquire, what would it take for me to get you to take me cliff diving?"

I laughed, keeping my eyes closed, half laughing at the fact that she was asking me such a ludicrous question. And half at the fact she used the word inquire.

"Irrelevant. Not happening."

"Name your stipulations." She pressed.

"There are no "stipulations", squirt." I stated, inert. "I've had enough of your Webster vocabulary today."

"Gimme some terms, Bub." She giggled, ignoring my joke.

"Absolutely not."

"Come on, just for funsies."

"Funsies? That's hardly a Webster word." I chuckled. "Okay. Uhmm, a million dollars, a million cheeseburgers, a helicopter, a pair parachute pants that are ever expanding, and a pair of those blade fingers that Hugh Jackman has."

I waited for her giggle; we've made countless jokes at Hugh Jackman's expense. I had to wait another few seconds until she rang her supernatural bells. I would run across the world to hear that sound.

"Parachute pants?"

"Yeah, that way when I change I don't always have to carry extra clothes with me."

"Why didn't you ask for a million pairs of those?"

"They are ever expanding Ness, I would only need one pair."

"So your gonna wear the same pair of pants all the time?"

"Yup." I saw no problem? I've only got like 3 pairs of pants I wear regularly anyways. Not all of us are exposed to Alice's assorted wardrobes. Nobody in the Cullen was permitted to wear the same pair of pants twice in the same month. Ridiculous.

"That is highly unsanitary. Since you're already asking for like a million cheeseburgers? The least you could do is ask for a few more pairs of pants, that would make a lot more sense than asking for a million freaking cheeseburgers?-"

She waited for an answer, and kept talking when she just heard my guffaw at her over reaction

"I mean can you even fathom how much food that is? You could never eat that much food; the whole pack couldn't eat that-"

I laughed, me and my pack put together could eat that and more without a glisten of sweat. She continued,

"Why would any sane human waste that m uch food on your ridiculous demands, when that much food could easily feed a third world country. That was very selfish of you Jacob." I sat up, not holding back my amusement. She wasn't pleased.

"It's not very hard to get you off topic." Way to get her back on topic. Idiot.

"Not really, I know exactly what were talking about. Your taking me cliff diving." Her face was persistent.

"Meet my demands, and ill take you cliff diving." I teased. I made them outrageous for a reason.

Taking her cliff diving was something she's been wanting to do for a long time. She has been hassling me about it relentlessly for years, even as a baby. I honestly didn't know if she was strong enough to take the blow if something went wrong, nobody has ever really pushed her strength to the limit before. I had to always keep into consideration that she was only half-vampire. 50% of her was still as delicate as a rose petal, and I wasn't about to take chances. But, even if she were indestructible, I don't think I could handle watching her jump off of the same cliff Bella did all those years ago. If something were to go wrong, I would have to save Ness from the same water, watch her hit the same rocks, over and over and over. Thinking about it made the hairs on the back of my neck stand erect.

Out of nowhere, I was smacked in the face. I immediately sprung up, accidentally letting a growl rip through my clenched teeth, wiping slim off of my face. I looked around to see what she was trying to pull now.

I saw her, a look of pure determination of her face. She was wading in the shallow water. Every 5 seconds, with the blink of an eye, she would pull another flopping fish out of the water and hurl it at me, grunting with each forceful pitch.

Fish hit my face, my stomach, and my feet. I stared at her in disappointed awe, letting the fish flop around me as they fell.

I stared at her while she threw, her facial expression never changing.

"Renes-" A fish flew at my face.

"Renesmee, are you aware of the level you have just stooped too." A starfish hit my forearm this time, suctioning itself to my skin. I plopped it off before continuing.

"Are you honestly throwing _live_ fish at me to get your way?" I wiped slime off of my forehead before continuing.

"This is a little childish, even for you kid." Three fish hit me at one time. Her face didn't show the slightest expression. I let out a chuckle before walking to my motorcycle.

"Alright, enough. Come on. Let's go, we will be late for dinner. Emily is ironically making fish. Be a doll and pick up some of your ammo for her, she'd be thrilled."

As I walked, two more balls of slim hit me in the back, before 4 fish hit my beloved baby motorcycle, knocking her off of her stand, and crashing to the asphalt.

I turned around in response to the chuckle that came from Nessie's chest, she obviously thought knocking down the one thing i loved as much as her, amusing.

She stood in the sand, throwing fish at me that were flopping around my feet, seconds earlier.

I glared at her, about to unleash the beast, only to be greeted by another blow to the forehead.

Her body was chuckling, but her face was impossibly solid.

"FINE!-"another fish in the face.

"Was that a surrender I heard?" she asked, gripping the two fish she held in both hands, ready to Frisbee at a moments notice.

"Ugh, you are exhausting, your parents are gonna shoot me." I groaned, walking toward the cliff with resistance.

"Well it's a good thing your bullet proof, huh Jakey?" she giggled with delight, clapping her hands gleefully, as she ran towards the cliff. I followed her, unenthusiastically. Then she stopped.

"Wait! Oh no! Oh no!" She sprinted back to the fish she left flipping sporadically in the sand, picking them all up at once in her hands, and gently released them back into the waves. She went back for a second trip, returning all the fish before grabbing my hand and towing me up the cliff.

Seconds later, we were standing at the edge of the rocks. Looking down at the crashing wave's god knew how many feet below us.

"Okay you little brat. Rule number one, do not let go of my hand. Those waves could rip you limb from limb-" she scoffed, and I rolled my eyes while I laced our fingers, a notion i secretly indulged, both of us starring at the water. "Rule number two, we go together on three, not a second before or after. Got it?" She squeezed my hand while saluting with a smile. I groaned.

"One, Tw-" Before I could believe it, she karate chopped my hand and carelessly jumped off of the ledge, yelping in delight.

My whole body shook with a mixture of rage, horror, and pure anxiety.

I was fuming; I knew it would have been beyond me to control myself. My eyes were so blurred that I couldn't even look down to see if she fell safely.

I practically ran off of the edge. Howling her name while my body turned inside out in mid-air, growing into the shaggy, massive, snarling beast I was. Luckily, I hit the water before my trunks exploded off of me, surprised I even noticed, considering that was the absolute last thing on my mind.

I looked around me in panic, the waves moving me every-witch way. It took me a few minutes until I found her, paddling as fast as she could to the beach, I growled as loud as I could, to let her know the wrath waiting for her at the shoreline. I heard her hysteric laughter as I swam, filling me with more fury.

I watched her reach the sand, relived she was okay, but still plotting every word I would say to her the second I changed. I saw her topple over herself in loud, uninhibited laughter that could have broken glass. I despised that it was the most magnificent sound in my world.

_I'm on my way dude._ I heard Seth think, or chuckle rather. I growled in response. With that, I reluctantly changed, and walked up as close to her as I could, without exposing myself from underneath the water. She was still cracking up; I stared at her with blazed eyes of resentment. This was the opposite of funny.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH I BET...BET...THOSE PARA...PARACHUTE PAINTS…WOULD...CO...COME IN HANDY RIGHT...RIGHT…RIGHT ABOUT NOW!"

She could barley choke out her words. I stared. After she calmed down, she looked at me, kneeling in the water, trying to hide myself from her innocent eyes. The sight spun her into a new fits of laughter. I didn't see the hilarity. I waited, glaring. She finally was able to breath, possibly able to speak comprehensibly.

"This does not in any way, shape, or form, resemble a laughable situation, you could have been killed." I hissed at her.

She looked up at me, her body coated with sand.

"You should have seen yourself change in mid-air, you should have heard my name turn into a bark. You would be rollin' with me friend."

"I most certainly would not!" I bellowed "You don't understand how dangerous those cliffs are! Your mother almost died on those cliffs Renesmee! They aren't something you get to piss me off with." She looked more serious now.

"Jake, I know. But Mom was a human when she did that. I'm a little more durable than you guys give me credit for, so stop acting like I'm a piece of breakaway glass. I will have you know that I slammed against like 17 rocks every time those waves heaved me, and I don't have a scratch. So get over it, I didn't mean to scare you. Sorry."

"You will be, your parents are gonna tear you to shreds," I unthinkingly tried to walk of the tide, but then quickly realized I was bottomless and swiftly shrunk back into the water, covering myself. That did it; she was back, rolling in the sand, playing 10 different instruments at once. Her laughter filled the sky, and echoed off of the rocks.

"How old are you, 10?!" I gaped at her, amazed by her immaturity.

"Actually, I'm 6."She retorted, sarcastically.

I scoffed.

And then we both looked at each other, her face full of amusement, mine full of irritation. After a few minutes of listening to the waves, we both sighed into each others eyes, smiling adoringly at one another before busting up into laughter and yet another one of our ridiculous situations.

***

I smiled to myself at the memory, just one of countless. She really was my best friend. I valued her more than anybody on this globe; she was so innocent, so lovable. I pictured in my head, going through her personal timeline in my head, watching her grow within my memories.

It went so fast, years of a childhood she would never get. She would never go through pre-schools, never do show and tells, never flirt with a boy by pushing him in the mud. She never got to truly enjoy being a toddler, a pre-teenager. She never got to obsess over boy bands without being made fun of, it never looked right for her to ride the rides outside of grocery stores, to play with dolls, to play dress up, have tea parties with her stuffed animals. She only got a few months of those experiences, when she would have had years to live carefree. How did I know that she was happy being grown up, so fast? And more importantly, how could I take the little innocence she has left, away from her?

I was used to wanting to make her happy in a certain way, to just simply being her big brother Jacob, her best friend Jacob. It was okay for me to play chicken with her at the beach, to take her to the pack bonfires and watch her facial expression while Embry told scary stories. I was okay with her enjoying her childhood, her carefree years. I was content admiring her lighthearted, stress free personality, joking with me like friends should joke with one another.

I wasn't used to this new feeling I was beginning to develop for my Nessie. I wanted her; I wanted to be with her, I needed it. I wasn't used to noticing the way her clothes hung on her, the curves of her body, or getting butterflies whenever she would cuddle me, or when she held my hand. I wasn't used to wanting to crush my lips to hers every time I drew breath; I didn't understand why I needed to have her in my arms at all times, why I couldn't help myself from brushing my fingers to her cheek. I wasn't okay with these feelings. She was just too young. I was a selfish person for even considering these feelings when she wasn't even fully matured. Technically, she was 7 years old? Ness was always beautiful to me, she always would be. But I was hoping these types of feelings for her wouldn't come for another few years, until she totally milked her childhood dry. It wasn't enough to just love her anymore. I was ready to be in love with her, and that scared me to death.

Renesmee was my imprinted soul mate. I knew these feelings would come eventually, and I knew I would have to deal with them. I just wasn't aware of how far they would shove me. I knew I would be with her forever, but how do I know when our forever is supposed to begin?

What if she didn't accept me? What if she didn't want me? What if she couldn't see me that same way I saw her? The thought knocked the wind out of me. I drew a few long breaths before getting up and walking farther into the forest in a steady stride.

The fact that she didn't know that I was born to be desperately, mind numbingly in love with her didn't help the situation. The fact that she didn't know that the only reason I know her is because I used to be in love with her mother didn't really make my case either. How do you explain that?

What would Bella and Edward think? We agreed that we wouldn't say anything to her at all about the imprinting until she was at least fully matured. I hated myself that I couldn't wait that long. I wanted to dig myself a hole in the middle of whatever forest I was, and never come out.

At the same time, I couldn't stand to be away from her. The distance now was practically torture. I didn't know what she was thinking, who she was talking to, if she was sitting or standing, if she pulled her hair back up or just left it down. I needed her in my life, as my oxygen. This girl, the only girl in the world would have me caged for the rest of my existence. I thought of her giggle earlier when I swept her above my shoulders, the tear on her cheek, my heart swelling in my chest when she told me she loved me.

My knees gave out, and I staggered to the ground. I was immobilized. My heart thumping with the adoration I felt for a girl, the only girl in the world, which took up not even a square foot of space on this earth, a square foot that I cant be without, 120 pounds of perfect that I could not breathe without. Every hair on her head, every nail on her finger was prized to me. She was my sun, my world, my life, my girl, the girl I would love until the day I died, until my heart stopped beating. My life suddenly became clear of purpose but for her, I suddenly knew why I drew breath in the morning, why I dreamt at night. She overwhelmed my mind and overpowered my soul. My body felt like it was going to burst, not capable of containing this sensation, I couldn't hold it in, and it was suffocating me, reddening my face and cutting off my blood circulation. I burst into tears, desperately trying to let the love escape me in some form, but also not wanting it too. I wanted to share this with her; I needed to prove to her how I needed her. I cried, wailing with every breath. Attempting to rid my body of the desperation I felt for this girl, the girl. There were no words. I couldn't speak, couldn't think. I saw her face. I had to have it; I needed it to be mine. I needed her to belong to me.

With that, I was sprinting again. And before I knew it I was bursting into the cottage. Bella was sitting at the piano with Edward, both of them beaming at the keys as they played Chopsticks in perfect harmony. They turned at the thud of the door, Bella bursting from the stool when she saw the tears in my eyes, the expression on my face. I fell to the couch, covering my face in my hands. Edward crossed the room, and sat next to Bella, who was crouched beside the couch waiting for me to explain.

"Jacob…" Edwards tone was tense through gritted teeth.

"You guys, just hear me out." I sat up, and uncovered my face, preparing to claim my destiny a few years ahead of schedule.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter5

(Edward)

I heard him coming, long before he crashed through the door.

_They would never even consider it _he thought, _and why would they? She is just a little girl; she has forever to be the women I need her to be. They will hate me as much as I hate myself for wanting her the way this way so soon. I have no right to do this, to her. Turn around. Turn around. Turn around! We already agreed when we would tell her, so why am I even asking? Turn around._

He stopped running when he saw the cottage from a distance, starring.

_I can't do this. I can't ask them for this. I can't take anything else away from her. She won't be ready .So selfish. _

I marveled at my wife (the title still excited me), she was enjoying her newfound talent while I listened in on Jacobs's thoughts. I continued to play in synchronization with Bella, enjoying the smile in her eyes, smiling to see her enthusiasm for something I loved almost as much as I loved her. I continued playing, nonchalantly, not wanting to concern Bella for no reason if Jake decided to turn around. I was hoping he would, I was hoping he wouldn't interrupt the moment I was having with my wife.

I was suddenly seeing my daughter through Jacob's eyes. I groaned at his recollection, the feeling of her in his arms this morning, the sound of her laugh, the cool of her skin. I couldn't say I was surprised, I knew this was coming. I just listened,

_Stop, stop feeling guilty. Since when do you feel guilty for feeling your feelings? There's nothing wrong with wanting to a relationship with your soul mate. Suck it up, stop being a pansy._

He perked up, and walked faster now, his enthusiasm shrinking when he thought of what could go wrong. Me and Bella not approving, Renesmee not wanting him, "Blondie" convincing Nessie that Jacob was nothing but a worthless house pet, Ness getting upset with him over lying about the imprintation for so long. He scolded himself, _Stop worrying! You're acting like an Edward! Just do it, stop thinking so much, just run. Go get her._

I chuckled at his comparison. Though I kept playing, I was already in deliberation.

On one hand, how dare he want to have a romantic relationship with her when she was so young? We had already had this discussion with Bella and Carlisle the first week she was born. We would go with the plan, telling her two years after her last growth, witch hadn't even come yet. His feelings be damned, I couldn't allow him corrupt my baby so soon, could I?

On the other hand, Jacob had been so patient. He really wished that she didn't grow up as fast as she did, and if anybody knew that it was me. He really was feeling guilty for these feelings he had, as he should. I don't think he would exactly be corrupting her anyways. I knew he would be more respectful than anybody else she would ever meet. I knew he couldn't help wanting to be truthful with her. I could empathize.

I looked at my life; I didn't have to look far. My other half was sitting right next to me. I glanced at her with peripheral vision. She was smiling to herself with more radiance than a sunrise, more excitement than a blushing bride on her wedding day. Her fingers danced over the keys with enthusiasm. And suddenly, I couldn't be upset, or even disappointed with Jacob for wanting a future he knew was rightfully his. How could I blame him for wanting to start his life as soon as possible? I knew that nothing felt better in the world than when Bella knew the truth about what I was, and wanted me anyways. I couldn't look at the angel next to me and honestly not understand what Jacob was going through.

I knew he had the best of intentions, I knew that he unconditionally loved Nessie; I knew that he was the best person for her; I knew that I would not be able to deny him his request. More so, I knew that I would be happy to give him what he ran her looking for. If I somehow deserved to have this much happiness in my life, to experience the love I have experienced, then the least I could do is give Jacob his happy ending. He deserved to be loved, to be taken care of for a change. I would not deny him of his fate.

I knew Bella would feel the same way. Renesmee would want to know the truth; she would want to make her own decision.

With that, Jacob barged into the living room, throwing himself at the couch, his face hid in his hands. He was in agony.

Bella ran to his side immediately, concerned beyond belief. I knew she was trying to think of the last time she saw Jacob this upset, let alone, the last time she saw Jacob with tears in his eyes. She simply waited for him to talk, witch was very unlike her. I decided I would just make it easier for him.

"Jacob…" I said. disappointed that my voice didn't portray the authoritative father I was going for.

He interjected. "You guys, just hear me out," he plead, taking a breath to continue. I held out my hand.

"You don't need to explain Jacob. I am fully aware of the feelings you have for Ness, and there is nothing wrong with it." He looked at me, flabbergasted. I continued. "You love her, and I understand that you would want the same feelings in return. She is already more mature than any of us give her credit for." He held the expression. "However, it is her decision weather or not she is comfortable with a different type of relationship with you. Just because you want her, doesn't necessarily mean she will want you. That is between you and her." He nodded, obviously more thankful than he wanted to explain in any detail.

"Edw…Edward, thank you. Thank you so much," he stammered. I nodded my head once.

"I'm not finished Jacob." He waited for me to finish, gulping.

"I swear on all that is good and holy, if you harm her in any way, shape, or form." I paused for dramatic effect. "I will have your tail mounted above my fireplace with pride." He let out a nervous laugh.

"No need to worry chief. I wouldn't dream of it." He got up, beaming, to shake my hand. I returned his smile. Jacob…My son?

"NO!?" We both stopped, dead in our tracks when we heard Bella shriek in horror at the top of her lungs from beside the couch, she was standing now, her hands balled up in fists at her sides. For once in all my years of knowing Bella, I had forgotten she was in the room. Jacobs face was a mixture of confusion and anger. We both starred at her, concerned, waiting for her to explain the outburst. Her eyes seared us from the inside out. She was livid.

"So I don't get a say in this at all?!" She barked, obviously to me. "Just because your okay with him taking away her innocence doesn't mean I am Edward. It's not just your decision to make. You don't get to go speaking for both of us all the time! You don't make my decisions Edward." She was shouting at me, or singing rather, with all volume imaginable. I didn't have a rebuttal; I could count the times on one hand that Bella had raised her voice to me like this before.

"Bella," I knew I had no right to okay Jacobs request without consulting her first, and I knew I needed to apologize. I was used to calming Bella when she was this upset. I hadn't a clue how to consol her when it was me she was upset with. I didn't continue, I just stuttered, like an idiot. She rolled her eyes at me before turning to Jacob, redirecting her fury. God spee Jacob, God spee.

"If you think you're about to sweep that girl off of her feet, think again." She glared him down. If he wasn't a werewolf, I am almost certain that her lazar eyes would have fried his organs. "She is a baby. She has been on this earth for 6 fucking years Jacob." I hated that I loved when Bella cursed like that, my wife, the hard ass. I was shamefully aroused. But thankfully, her ongoing rant ruined it for me quickly.

"You don't get to take her now just because she's developed physically for your pleasure. She is too young. End of discussion."

Jake tried to protest, but was struck down with a shriek that would have called every animal in the forest to her command.

"Shut up! Don't tell that's not what this is about! I know you Jacob Black. I know you better than you know yourself, and I am not about to have you work your crazy doggy voodoo on my daughter. So you might as well just forget about it. You're not touching her." Silence. Jacob and Bella stared each other down, while I stood in the background, now, obviously, an innocent bystander. Jacobs face had turned from repentant to downright pissed off, while Bella's perfect features remained constant with her temper. Jacob cut the tension.

"You have the nerve," Pause. "To tell me that you think I have come here, just so I can take advantage of her _body_?" He snarled.

"That is what I know Jacob. I _know_ you came her, just so you can take advantage of her body." She hissed, balling her fists tighter, if that were possible.

To my dismay, Jacobs face softened, he looked at his feet.

"I'm surprised you think that low of me Bella." Bella stared, untainted by his words and shuffled past us, to her room.

"Get out Jacob." She said briskly.

He spun in fury "You can't keep me from her," he stated. She twisted to face him.

"Actually, I can. And that is exactly what I plan on doing." She strode confidently to our room, and slammed the door, sending a lightning bolt of splintered wood through the center.

We stood, gaping at the door, lost for words. Of all the outcomes I am sure he was expecting to come from this conversation that most defiantly was not one of them. I felt Jacobs's eyes on me, begging for some help. I looked back at him with wide eyes. He was shaking with rage; it wouldn't be long until spontaneous combustion would take hold of him.

"You. You go" I stuttered. "I'll talk to her. But you probably shouldn't come back tonight, just incase. Let her calm down, she's probably already feeling guilty for talking to you like that," there was a crash from the bedroom, in response to my last statement. I looked at the bedroom door before looking at Jacob, and cocking my head toward the front door, urging him to leave. He turned and walked slowly out the door.

"Jake," I stopped him before he was off the porch. He turned to me, his eyes full of extreme anxiety. "Don't worry, she will come around." He nodded heavily before bolting into the woods. He grew 4 feet and a tail before disappearing into the foliage.

I closed the door, and turned to the other, separated by the physical evidence of my loving wife's wrath. I figured it was not yet time to face the music. I would let her cool down for awhile. So I crossed my way over to the piano and settled myself in as I began to play her lullaby. I knew that right now, this was the definition of tacky and cliché, but I didn't really know what else I could do for her. So I played. I played with all the emotion in my body. My mind was racing with memories of my Bella and I when I went through her lullaby twice. I got up, and was at the door in a millisecond. I softly knocked twice.

"Love? Can I come in?" I asked my voice tender. I wasn't expecting an answer so I knocked again, before opening the door, to find Bella sitting in the middle of our bed with her chin setting on her knees, her arms wrapped around herself protectively.

I chuckled. "Where's the bomb?" She acted as if I wasn't in the room. I walked over to the bed, and sat directly in front of her, holding her eye contact with every move I made. I put my chin on my knees, and wrapped my arms protectively around my knees. She stared. I huffed as I reached to the foot of the bed and grabbed a white sheet. I draped it over her, then over myself, before sitting back in the exact position I was in before. The white sheet still let in light, so I could still see the way her eyes didn't budge as I teased her. I kept the sheet over top of us and my arms around my legs as I spoke.

"Come on love, lets get this over with then," I pleaded.

"Get what over with?" She spat.

"Our fight, I wanna teach you Nessies lullaby before she comes home."

"There's nothing to fight about Edward,"

"Aren't you upset with me?" I asked, not unraveling my arms.

"Obviously," she didn't drop eye contact.

"Well, then there's something to fight about. Come on then love, do your dirtiest. I'm ready." I closed my eyes, wrinkling my face, wrapping my arms more tightly around myself. When she didn't begin her rant, I opened one eye suspiciously. Her head was between her knees. I chuckled, dropping my position and pulling the sheet off of us. I scooted myself closer to her, running my fingertips on the sides of her thighs, kissing the hop of her head. She looked up at me, her face full of disappointment. My heart fell.

"Edward, why would do that? You undermined my judgment and didn't think twice when you decided it was okay for you to speak for me. I'm not okay with them going out and doing god knows what together. She is just so young. I know he loves her, but he is just so stupid sometimes. He's not like you Edward, he doesn't think. He doesn't think about the consequences. He doesn't know the difference from right and wrong when he's in the moment. How do we know that they won't make a mistake?" She didn't break her gaze on me as she spoke.

"I'm not comfortable with them going off together making stupid decisions when she doesn't even know what she wants yet." She was talking a million miles an hour; I could do nothing but listen.

"Sure, he had good intentions now, but when they start actually having a _real_ relationship Edward. We of all people should know what its like to want something physical with a person, but unable to have it. What if the first time you were tempted you gave in? Well, Jacob doesn't understand the meaning of the word tempt Edward, he never lets it get that far.

"I want to wait until she's grown up enough to know how to make conscious decisions like that. Jacob is hard to resist, and she is going to need a few more years experience. It's a brainless proposal and I am livid you told him it was okay without asking me first. So, there."

She took a deep breath, and looked into my eyes, waiting for a response. I needed a minute, to gather my response, to explain to her why Jacob needed this chance. If it was half as good as her reasoning, then she might just understand. I dropped my position, scooting closer to her, putting my arms around her shoulders. I made my voice as gentle as I could while our bodies became one.

"First and foremost, I was utterly wrong of me to give Jacob and answer without consulting you first. I understand that your opinion is just as, if not more important, than my own. I understand why you care upset with me when it comes to me making your decisions, and I vow to you it will not happen for the rest of our existence. We are a team, and that's how we will remain. I sincerely apologize." I pursed my lips, waiting for her forgiveness. She kissed my nose instead. I took my face in her hands, increasing the intensity in my eyes.

"Now, we are going to have to talk about this situation with Jacob and our daughter." Her expression turned cold.

"Love, I truly understand your points. I understand why you object to their being together. But I need you to also understand mine, and then we can make an informed decision together. But banning Jacob from Nessie won't do anybody any good, especially them."

I was holding the whole weight of her head in my hands, her eyes still locked on mine. I pressed my forehead to hers, and began to explain to her the only way I knew how.

"Bella, you, sweetheart, are the best gift that anybody could have given me and more. You have brought warmth, beauty and happiness into my life without lifting a finger. You know what all of my imperfections are, and you still decided to love me, despite all the obstacles we have faced. You have fixed me; and I would be terrified to have to imagine what my life would be like today without you in it. Because of you, I have everything that I never even knew I needed. You have made life worth living and I will try my hardest to thank you for that, every second, of everyday, for the rest of our lives. The love I feel for you Bella shakes me to my core, and I wouldn't have it any other way."

By the end of my speech her face was hot under my hands. The gold of her eyes was inflamed, she was absolutely breathtaking. I would have given almost anything for her to drop her shield in this moment, to hear her thoughts. But I wasn't about to stop and ask.

I was thankful that she couldn't cry, because I knew the tears that would have been streaming down her face right now, if she were human, would have distracted me from the actual reason I was telling her this. I ran my fingers over her cheek before continuing.

"Bella, I didn't think that it was possible for anybody to love another person as much as I love you." I paused, letting her brace herself, "But, my dear. That boy loves our Renesmee more than I thought possible. I understand his intentions, witch are nothing but the best for her, and I am confident that he would never do anything to harm her, or make her feel taken advantage of. He needs her to be happy almost as much as he needs himself to be happy. He feels horribly for having romantic feelings for her ahead of schedule, he wants her to have a childhood just as much as we do. He is being more careful with her than he needs, or wants to be, and if anybody knows this, it's me Bella. Do you honestly think I would have been okay with this if I knew it would bring them anything but joy? Or if I knew he wanted merely her body? He wants to be the one to make her happy. He doesn't want to have to lie to her. He wants to start their life together. I don't see anything wrong with his feelings." Her expression didn't change.

"Bella, I know that you just want her to be okay, you want that as much as I do. But I also know that Jacob will do nothing but good things for her. She has never really been a child Bella, she is already grown up. It's not fair to withhold things from her that she would have wanted to know, she deserves nothing but the truth. Even as her parents, it's still not our decision who she spends her time with. But if it was, I couldn't pick a better person for her. He truly loves her Bella, with his whole heart." I kissed her forehead.

"They deserve to experience the same type of love that we experience every day. They deserve to be this happy. And that is exactly what they will be. She deserves to have the words I just said to you, said to her, in every way possible." I kissed her nose.

"I swear to you that there is not reason to worry. There is no reason not to trust Jacob. You should now focus your energy on being happy for your daughter, for having somebody who adores her almost as much as I adore you, love."

She threw her arms around my neck, and the dry sobs broke free. She cried into my neck while I pulled her into my lap, shushing her gently, smoothing her hair in attempt to calm her down. Her kisses were urgent, trailing from my ear to my lips. She cupped my face in her hands.

"I hate it when you're right," she whispered against my lips.

I smiled, against hers.

"It gives me quite a thrill," I chuckled, moving my lips from her lips to her chin, trailing to her neck, then eventually to her shoulder.

"Jacob must hate me, I had no right to-" I stopped her.

"You have every right, you are a concerned mother, and you acted as any other mother would have. Don't feel guilty for being honest." I stated matter-of-factly.

She sighed with a smile. "Do you really think they will be like us?" Her musical tone could have flown me above the clouds.

"Love, if they are a fraction of as happy as we are, I cannot even imagine the nausea that the both of us have in store."

She gigged, lying back on the bed, pulling me with her.

"Does this mean than Jacob no longer has to abide by a restraining order?" I teased.

"No, Jacob no longer has a restraining order. Not that he would have really done much "abiding" anyways."

I sighed. "Don't worry love. They were made for each other."

She looked up at me, her eyes full of an emotion I didn't quite recognize.

"Thank you," she sighed as she laid her head on my chest, kissing my stomach. I stroked her hair.

"For?"

"For making me understand; for dealing with my craziness. For knowing what's best for me when I don't know what's best for me; for loving me unconditionally; for existing." Her voice cracked at the last one. My heart would have turned to puddy if it was beating.

"No love. Thank _you_."

We lay together, who cared how long, intertwined, finding heaven in each others arms.


	6. Chapter 6

**AuthorsNote: GAH! I finallllly got a story line. Thanks for all the support guys (: this is my first story, so im lovin' checking everyday to see new reviews(: keep em' comin. **

**Love you guys! **

Chapter6

(Renesmee)

School was absolutely tedious, as always. I didn't have many friends, and I was probably the only person in the whole world that was totally okay with that, grateful even. I loved that. I didn't worry about trying to impress people, didn't have to go to school and hide everything about my life to people that didn't really care about me anyways. I had everybody I needed. Between my family and the pack, I couldn't possibly imagine anybody that could make my life any more complete than it already is. That is besides, a boyfriend maybe. I never really ventured to that region of my adolescence yet, and I honestly found no reason too. I figure I will just know when I'm ready for the romance. Until then, I remain asexual.

I spent most of the day starring out the window, going over every aspect of my morning with Jacob. Trying to figure out why he rushed me out of the meadow so quickly.

Jacob cared about school less than I did, so I knew that the attendance excuse was a giant heap of shit.

The last bell finally rang, I gathered by stuff slowly, in no hurry to return home to the birthday festivities I am sure were just around the bend.

I slid through the masses of students in the hallway to my locker before heading out to the parking lot, not surprised to find the Volvo sitting in my usual parking space.

I drove around for a little while. Through the twists and turns of abandon side roads with old houses, falling to pieces, board by board. I blasted my music, letting the mood take me over for a little while before I had to go back home. I savored every moment I had truly to myself, I couldn't waste them.

I stopped when I came to my house. Well, not really my house, but the house I knew I would move too in a few hundred years or so, when everybody in Forks forgot our names.

The walls were pealing apart from every hinge that previously held them together. It was dotted with pealing white paint, the chips revealing the old, battered wood underneath it. The windows were all broken and boarded. But the Victorian architecture still fascinated me.

When you looked at it, you felt the color around you slowly fading to black and white. You had to let the old-fashioned mood swallow you whole in order for you to honestly appreciate the beauty that radiated from every nail. The house was still the only place I could picture myself living beside my tiny little cottage. Every time I stood in front of my house I pictured it refurbished.

Fresh new coats of paint, accented with blue shutters, showing the curtains open from the inside of the house, letting in the daylight, me and my family sitting on the porch with Jacob and the pack, reminiscing about old times. I always saw my future in this house. Hopefully Esme could help me renovate.

The house was so natural. Nothing but wood and nails, worn by nothing but good old Mother Nature.

I walked to the porch, cringing with every creak of the worn wood. I sat myself against the door, legs supporting my chin, and stared out at the long, untrimmed grass flowing in synchronization, as if pulled together by the moon. I decided that this, happy place, was second best to the meadow.

My body was perfectly still, one with the rotting wood sitting beneath me. My mind was flowing as steadily as the wind that blew my hair. My pulse slowed, and I couldn't imagine a moment in my life when I had felt so comfortably at ease with the nature that surrounded me. I decided to allow myself a few minutes of free thought before I had to go back to the festivities waiting for me.

I thought about my family, and how much they meant to me, what would happen to us once we would leave Forks, where we would go. I decided that I didn't care, that it didn't really matter. As long as in 100 years or so, I got to come back to my house in Forks.

I thought about Jake. I always thought a lot about Jake. I thought about how lucky I was to have somebody like him, how fortunate I was to be able to have so many constants in my life. So many people I could count on no matter what the circumstance. I thought about what Jake meant to me; how I don't think I would be able to live without him being my best friend no matter what. I thought about what would happen when we left Forks; would Jake come with us? Could I expect him to leave his home, his father? His pack? Jacob wasn't physically capable of leaving them, he couldn't possibly just pick up and leave because I have too. I wondered what I would do without my best friend there to make me laugh, when everybody else took me too seriously. I couldn't imagine my life without that ball of fur, and I didn't actually want to. I felt a hot tear run down my cheek with just the thought of having to leave Jacob. Could I risk my family and our secret to stay near my best friend? I didn't even want to think about it. I was suddenly remorseful that I hadn't gone straight to the house, straight to the people that loved me the most. How much would I eventually be willing to sacrifice?

I let my mind wander until my eye lids succumbed to vast relaxation.

***

I woke in the middle of my bed, sweating in my sheets, wiping away the hair stuck to my forehead. It was dark inside my room, and I noticed my curtains were shut. I groaned, and got up to let in the dim light outside of my windows. Twilight.

I hated this groggy feeling more than anything. My whole body weighed a thousand pounds. My legs were wobbly, and my skin was sheeted with perspiration. My mouth felt disgusting; I could feel the extra coding of plaque on them as I ran my tongue over my dry lips. I was still exhausted. But I drug myself anyway to the bathroom, washing my face and brushing my teeth.

"Nessssssssie! You're finally up Sleeping Beauty! Get your ass down here tute-sweet, birthday girl!" I jumped, dropping my toothbrush, when Alice's squeak interrupted the dull, silent roar of the bathroom fan. I groaned and picked up my tooth-brush before making my way to the head of the long hallway, leading to the living room. I walked the line, reluctantly.

I don't really know what I was expecting. Maybe a whole three ring circus, waiting to show me their customized show just for me, including their most daring routines. Perhaps a line up of my favorite bands, who just prior to my arrival, edited all the lyrics of their songs to fit my name in the middle of them. Possibly a team of world renown, culinary experts, waiting and ready to prepare all of my editable desires. Or David Blaine, levitating the couch, waiting for me to sit down for a private show. Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if Aunt Alice got the whole goddamn Magic Kingdom to come and set up shop in my front yard. But this time, I was pleasantly surprised.

I turned the corner with my eyes closed, opening them one at a time to find my favorite people in the world starring at me with brilliant, sparkling smiles. They were standing around the coffee table, behind one of the most beautifully simple birthday cakes I have ever seen. It was plainly blue, garnished tastefully with some edible flowers and white icing, with 6 candles plotted perfectly around its circumference.

I looked around the room bewildered, and it was the exact opposite of what I was expecting. It looked no different from me everyday recognizable living room that I loved so much. Everything was in its proper place, besides a few gift boxes sitting on top of the piano in the corner. But that was okay, because the room wasn't drowned in streamers and balloons, I saw no signs of a petting zoo, and I was absolutely positive there was no hot air balloon lift zones anywhere to be seen through the open windows. For once in my 7 years of existence, Alice threw me a sudle birthday party.

They broke out into the most gorgeous rendition of Happy Birthday I think I have ever heard in my life in response to the wide eyed grin that dominated my face. Their voices were constructed to complement one another. I could have listened to them sing in harmony for hours upon hours.

I was almost dizzied with the sound of the appellant sympthony being preformed for my personal viewing pleasure. Of course, Daddy, Emmet and Carlisle's voice made up the baritone, while Alice, Mommy, and Esme took over the soprano section. Rose and Jasper provided the flawless harmonization.

Jacob and Seth's grainy voices technically ruined the whole song. But, in my opinion, their howling wrapped up my Birthday song with that perfectly plump cherry on top.

I was overjoyed to see Rosalie and Emmet standing next to each other, smiling at me with more enthusiasm then anybody else in the room, if that was possible.

They had just taken a long trip to Russia, to renew their vows and have another honeymoon. I hadn't seen them in almost a month and a half. I didn't even know they were back until right now. They looked just as perfect as ever.

When my song ended, Rose was the first one with her arms wrapped around me. Her cool skin soothed my overheated, blushing body.

Her fingers laced in my hair, she kissed both of my cheeks before lifting me in the air and spinning me around in a tight embrace. I almost choked.

"Ahhh! I missed you so much Ness! Happy Birthday Baby!" She kissed my forehead before passing me off to Emmet, who was as always, rumbling with laughter at my embarrassment. He loved that we still had a person in the house that would always be able to blush.

Emmet squeezed me so tight; I honestly thought I could was going to shatter into a million pieces. He disheveled my hair and I giggled into his chest, before kneeing him in the stomach for him to let me go. He recoiled, as held his arm over the point of impact, looking at me mischievously. The room was full of muffled laughter and bets being made to who was about to win our brawl. Uncle Emmet creased his eyebrows playfully, and I gave him an accepting crooked smile. Game on?

Mom, Dad, Jacob, and Esme gasped in alarm while Emmet tackled me to the ground. We were both laughing as we tossed and turned around the floor knocking over a few shelves of books, trying to pin each other by the arms.

I heard Seth and Jasper laughing as I backhanded Emmet, leaving him senseless, and sat on his legs, restraining him to the ground for only a split second before he swooped me into his arms and threw me across his back. I didn't have time to struggle before he pinned me to the wall with both his index fingers pressed against my shoulders. Alice was handing Rose a ten dollar bill just as Emmet began to talk.

"Hell," he said, hugging me to his frozen arms again. "I really missed you kid." I kissed him on the cheek.

"I missed you too Uncle Emmet." I said before smacking the back of his head, letting a low drone of laughter roll around the room in waves. He released me and I ran to my beautiful Aunt Rose, and threw my arms around her again.

"You too, Rose. I missed you so much." She kissed the top of my head, and I could sense her smile. "How was Russia this time?"

I let go of her and sat down on the couch next to Esme, who wrapped both her arms around my shoulders. Everybody proceeded to take their usual positions.

Mommy and Daddy lounged on the end of the couch perpendicular to the one I was sitting on. Mom was sitting between Daddy's legs, resting her head on his chest as he wrapped his arms around her, she took one of his hands in hers, intertwining them into an unbreakable net. He whispered something in her ear that made her smile, and lean her head back for an upside-down kiss. I couldn't think of anything more comforting than to watch my parents just simply be together, I couldn't imagine two people more perfect for each other.

But, that was hard to say. Considering i was surrounded by perfectly matched couples daily.

Carlisle took a seat next to Esme, and she released only one of her arms from around me to take his hand in hers, squeezing it gently, reminding him they would be alone soon enough. I looked away, and giggled to myself. It was hard to imagine my Grandparents as young and as passionately in love as all of the other hypothetically "younger" couples in the house. They were bound to be the parents, the authority figures.

Rose and Emmet sat on the other side of the couch where Mom and Dad were settled. Rose laying her long legs over the couch, while Emmett's chest propped her up into a half sitting position. He had his arm over her shoulder, playing with a lock of her hair. They looked so ideal together; any aspiring artist would have paid money to paint their portrait.

Jasper and Alice took their normal spot on the floor, leaned up against the couch. Alice was curled into Japers lap in a little ball of gusto. I could sense when he sent her a wave of what must have been relaxation, because at that moment she calmed in his arms and cuddled her head into his neck. He smiled as he drew some sort of significant figure on her thigh. Alice glanced back up at him, giddy as always, pecked his nose, and waited for somebody to restart the conversation.

Jake and Seth plopped down simultaneously next to me on the couch. Their heat immediately made up for the frozen arm of ice wrapped around me. I was reassured when Jake looked at me with a wide, satisfied grin. Thankfully, it seemed like whatever was up with Jake this morning was over now. I gave him an equally enthusiastic smile in return, his auburn eyes were blazing.

Right then, Seth nudged Jacobs arm with his elbow, obviously a little harder than intended, because Jacob let out a warning growl. I looked away to find that the whole room was starring at us, all with a separate type of smirk on their face. Me and Jake looked at each other, confused, and then back at everybody else.

"What?" we asked at the same time. Muffled laughter was their only response. I decided to brush it off, directing my attention back to where it was before I was distracted by Jacob and his pearls. I looked at the sneer pulling Rose's lips and flushed.

"So, how was Russia?" I asked, more persistent now. Wanting to change the subject to something else, even though I had no clue what subject was making every set of lips in the room besides mine purse to one assigned corner.

"It was great. Emmet and I met a lot of," she looked at him before continuing on. "Interesting people." There was a long pause while Rosalie looked at Dad, waiting for a reaction to whatever was going on inside her head. I hated when he found out things before everybody else. It simply wasn't fair.

"That's not possible," Dad interjected, looking at Rose with wide eyes. I was lost, again.

"I suppose, anything's possible." Rose said "Because we talked to one, face to face." If Dads jaw would have dropped and lower, any faster than it did, it probably would have snapped off.

"Uhmm, anybody care to fill us in?" Seth asked.

Rose sighed and began her story. "Well, Emmet and I decided we needed to go for a nice, challenging hunt. We ran to some deserted woods off the north border of Sweden, when we got, _distracted._" She glanced at Emmet and snickered. He gave the room a smug, no tooth grin.

"AH! FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY!"

I flinched when Dads voice filled the room. I shot my eyes to his, witch were covered by his hands, fingertips digging into his forehead. Rosalie and Emmet were laughing hysterically before the rest of the room realized what was going on. Dad was screaming for them to stop. Their laughter was so infectious; I couldn't help but join them, along with everybody else.

"I hate this thing sometimes." Dad groaned, still covering his eyes, not that it would help. Emmet laughed harder when Dad got up from the couch and ran to the backyard, trying to flee from their obviously risqué thoughts.

"Check this out Edward!" Emmet chuckled.

With that, Dad peaked around the corner, his eyebrows raised to Aunt Rose, who was trying to hide underneath Emmett's arm. She apparently knew what Emmet was showing him. In a split second, Dad was practically on the floor, unable to control his mirth. He eventually grew silent, but then looked at my Aunt Rose, under Emmett's arm, self-conscious of whatever was going on. This caused his laughter to grow by the double. He walked back over to his previous spot on the couch when he was under control, and settled himself next to Mom this time, pulling her closer, into his lap.

"Gee Rose, aren't you the seductive little vixen."

"Shut up!" She chimed.

She buried herself a little bit more into Emmett's arm.

I think this was the first time I have ever seen Rose embarrassed by anything.

Emmet leaned in for a small forgiving peck, but was slapped across the face in response. Seth and Jacob were shaking the couch with their amusement, while Alice and Jasper lit the room with their smiles. Carlisle and Esme were barley in the room; they were lost in each others eyes, obviously trying to avoid a potentially awkward situation.

I looked over to Dad. He was whispering something in Mom's ear. Her wide eyes directed toward Rosalie. When he pulled away she hid herself in his chest, trying to hide her laughter from Rose, who was now sitting on the floor, legs and arms crossed, waiting for the mocking to end. She glowered at my parents.

"If your done being immature, I would like to finish my story asshole." She hissed. Mom was still buried in Dad's chest.

"By all means," Dad chuckled, struggling to compose himself. Mom finally looked up at Rosalie, appearing calm, but then was attacked by another fit of giggles. She waited for her to calm down before rolling her eyes and continueing.

"Anyways, before I was rudely interrupted, Emmet and I were in the woods. We were getting ready to walk home when we were attacked." She paused.

"One second I was walking hand in hand with my husband, the next, I was being thrown to the ground, a straight-up, purebred, werewolf trying to sink its teeth in my neck." Emmet flinched before adding to the story, ignoring the shock on our faces.

"It just tackled her to the ground and started snapping. I didn't have time to think, I just snapped its neck. I didn't even know what it was until it didn't die. It darted right back up and came at me, trying to tear my arms right from their sockets."

He walked across the room and sat by Rose, putting his arm around her waist. She elbowed him away before taking his hand with both of hers. She played with his fingers as she spoke.

"We must have fought with that thing for hours, neither of us were giving up. It just wouldn't die. We tried to physically tear him in half, and it just didn't-."

Emmet interrupted her, earning him another blow to the ribs.

"We fought with him until the sun came up, and then, right as we were about to give up, he turned into this fragile little teenage girl!"

Rose took the stage, out of spite. I giggled to myself; I loved watching them fight without actually fighting.

"We were absolutely shocked. She wouldn't stop apologizing; she didn't know what she was doing. She practically bombarded us with questions. Asking us why we were as durable as she was."

Emmet started again.

"We of course told her the truth. The blood just drained from her face and she started running, sprinting, the second we said 'vampire'. She ran at human speed when she was in human form, so we let her run; we didn't understand what she was exactly running from. We followed her until she gave up. She turned around and just broke out into tears, begging us to do it quickly? When we just stood there, after like 5 minutes of silence she asked if it was over. We had no idea what she was talking about and almost just left."

Rose began again. Our jaws were all to the floor.

"Eventually, she explained everything." She paused, giving us time to take it all in.

"Long story short, she was a newborn, _pure_ werewolf. She explained that she was from a pack living on an Island, just north of Finland. Her and her pack has been running from the Volturi, who has been trying to put them into extinction for centuries. That's why she was so frightened of us; she thought we were coming to kill her."

She looked at Emmet, waiting for him.

"They have been running for years, as Nomads, living all over the world trying to escape their hunters."

After a few moments of silence, at least twenty questions from everybody were shot off at once.

"How many are in the pack?!"

"Where did they live before Finland?!"

"What was she doing alone in Sweden?!"

"I thought they were all extinct?"

"How many have they changed?!"

"Does any body else know about them?"

"Can we meet them?"

I was just as surprised as they were. Pure werewolves were very rare, we were all under the impression they were fully extinct by now.

Jacob and his pack were only half-breed werewolves. The full breed trait was lost slowly generation after generation. Witch meant that Jacob didn't change with the full of the moon, only the complex intensity of his emotions. Jacob couldn't change people with just a bite, and it would always take a lot less than a silver bullet to make him go away.

But at the same time, I couldn't imagine anything being "wolfier" than Jacob when he was in his natural form, but I was ecstatic to find out.

One after another, questions were being fired at Emmet and Rosalie. Who sat there amused, shrugging their shoulders at almost every query.

Rose stopped the madness.

"We don't know the details; she couldn't talk for very long, she had to get back. But, she told us where her pack was living, however. She said we could pay them a visit, since we were all like, indestructible, it would be no harm done for us to go up their and do a little exploring. And she was just as amazed by our life style as we were with hers. She didn't even know that other covens existed outside of the Volturi. She said her pack would love to get to meet 'vegetarian' vampires."

Carlisle's eyes were huge. "That would be fascinating! I can't even believe they slipped under the Volturi's' radar. I would love to meet their leaders. When can we go?"

Emmet shrugged. "Whenever we want I guess, it was an open invitation."

Alice clapped, jumping in Jasper's lap, who sent a wave of excitement through everybody in the room. They all cheered. Everybody besides me. I was suddenly feeling very impassive, indignant. I didn't want to go to Finland. I was confused, because I really did want to go to Finland? I then realized Jasper starring at me, trying to alter my moods about the trip.

"Jasper!? What are you doing that for?" I questioned, my voice raised a little more than I intended it to be. I knew exactly what he was trying to do. I wouldn't be left out of this trip, hell no. I should have known they would try and do this.

"Renesmee," my Mom said softly.

"What." I snapped, not returning her gaze.

Dad's eyes pulled mine inevitably in response to my tone, warning me to keep it in check when talking to Mom. She looked up at Dad before talking, he nodded, and she continued.

"Sweetheart, it wouldn't be safe for you to go, there is no telling if you could be bitten, or what would happen if you were."

"Mom! Are you kidding me?! I'm not a porcelain doll! I can't get hurt! You can't let me miss this, you just can't. It's not fair. Seriously, you're just over thinking it. You can't expect me to stay here all by myself while the rest of you go to Finland!"

"I don't have a choice baby. I won't risk it. Besides, if we happen to run into the Volturi while we are there, god knows what they would want with you now that you're almost grown. We won't risk it." She said apologetically.

It was extremely difficult to stay angry when Jaspers' waves of tranquility where drowning my true feelings on what was being taken away from me, because I was half human. I always got the short end of the stick. The rest of the room was silent while I sustained the argument.

"Okay, Mom just hear me out," I plead, crossing the room to sit on the floor in front of her and Dad. "I can take percussions, I will be careful, I swear! I have to see this! Please!" I looked at Dad, "Dad? Please, I will be careful. We don't even know what will happen. The Volturi had their chance, they won't touch me. It could be okay." They both closed their eyes at they shook their heads at me. I got up to sit next to Carlisle.

"Carlisle, please, tell them how rare this is. Tell them why I can't miss it." I grabbed his free hand. He looked at me, and kissed my forehead.

"I'm sorry Renesmee; it could be very potentially dangerous. It's your parent's decision." I groaned, pleading, as I looked back at them.

"We have no way of knowing what will happen Ness. And it's simply not worth it to explore the possibilities of a negative outcome. I'm sorry. You'll have to stay here." Dad said with confidence. There were no more questions, no point to try and persuade. When he used that tone, the decision was made.

"Ugh! Well what am I supposed to do while everybody is backpacking through Europe?! Who am I gonna stay with?" I directed toward my parents, while forcefully plunking back in my previous spot on the couch, letting my head fall on Esmes shoulder.

"Well," Mom began. "I have no problem with staying behind if you-" she didn't get to finish her sentence before Alice shot her head up.

"She could stay with Jacob!" She exclaimed with enthusiasm. My parents' faces automatically shrunk. A small, uninhibited growl escaped my Moms clenched teeth. I was shocked when I saw my Dad, of all people, reassuringly squeezed her hand. This was new.

I thought I was dreaming when I heard him say, "Alice, that's a fantastic idea." He looked towards Jake. Whose eyebrows were furrowed with skepticism.

"That is, if Jacob doesn't mind the imposition."

"No, no. It's no problem. Billy would love that. If Nessie don't mind, that is." He stammered.

Then, the whole room was looking at me. I was happy to be able to spend some quality, alone time with Jake, without my Dad checking out our every thought, but I was still pissed that they were all being so protective. I hated being left behind more than anything. I rolled my eyes.

"Whatever, I don't care. Just don't forget to seal up my bubble before you go."

Everybody laughed at my tenacity and wished me a "Happy Birthday" before retreating to the dining room to plan for their upcoming trip to Finland to meet the wolves. A trip that everybody was leaving for, that is, besides me and Jacob.

**AuthorsNote: Hope you liked it (: REVIEW!**


	7. AUTHORS NOTE! READ!

Heyy Kids.

Ohkkk.

I had a major epiphany today during biology. & I have come up with like the best plot ever in my opinion.

I obviously wont telll ya here, you gooottta keep reading (: but chapter 6 showed a lot of foreshadowing, so hopefully you guys will stick with me and love my new idea.

Even though I only have like 20ish people that have read this? Haha I think I could get more with this new story.

It'll still be centered on Jake&Ness, just with a MASSIVE twist.

So please bear with me, the story is worth it. Or, it will be.

I hope I can write it well for you guys.

KEEP REVIEWING!  
I live for those things(:

Thanks.

Steph.


	8. Chapter 7

Chapter7

(Jacob)

I was sitting on at the bottom of one of the flights of stairs in the Cullen's big, white house, watching everybody hustle around, floor after floor, getting the last of their belongings packed for their big trip to Finland. I sat on these stairs, purely to be an annoyance to Blondie, whose room was right next to the staircase I was obscuring.

In a small, minuet way, I sort of wished I was going with them, like Seth. I couldn't imagine passing up the chance to actually meet purebred werewolves, the opportunity was truly once in a lifetime.

I was absolutely shocked when I found out that they even still existed, what, with the Volturi's impeccable tracking system.

When I told the rest of the pack, they were actually a bit upset, thinking that this was something they should have known about. Sam was considering going to Finland with the Cullen's, to confront the leader of whatever pack they were visiting, but then realized the danger it would put Emily in, and it wasn't bearable to leave her. So, he had to stay, and send Seth on his errand.

Despite his ire, he was humbled. These wolves have fled the Volturi, and sustained their lives in peace. It was even more interesting the fact that they were friendly and living together as a society. This was something you had to see with your own eyes. Unfortunately, I wouldn't have that chance.

But I didn't have a choice, and that was okay with me. Renesmee wasn't able to go, due to her half human status. And, I knew I wouldn't be able to be away from her for that long.

I decided I could use this time alone with her to my advantage. I would use the time to show her why she should be with me, and nobody else. I would show her how happy we could be. But above all, I would have to tell her the absolute truth about everything that has been going on since she was born, and I didn't really know how she was going to take that news. But she deserved to know, if she's mad at me for a few days, or weeks, months, it will be worth it to be able to be with her perpetually. My heart shuttered, putting a smile on my face. The thought of forever with her was invigorating.

Right then, she came stomping down the stairs, her bottom lip swollen with one of the most adorable pouts I have ever seen her make. She sat next to me on the stairs, leaning her head on my shoulder. She let out a sigh, and her cool breath hit my arm, raising the hair on the back of my neck.

I suddenly found myself thanking whatever god made it so that she didn't inherited the superhuman hearing like her parents, making it possible that she could never hear my heart accelerate every time she touched me. This girl changed me, who I was, how I acted, I knew that, I couldn't help that. And honestly, I didn't want to.

"Who died?" I asked her, wrapping her under one of my arms.

"This is so unfair. I am always left out of everything remotely interesting." She replied, leaning back on my arm to look me in the eyes.

"Awe, come on! You get to make fun of me all week! We will have more fun than them, I promise."

"Jake, I want to go to Finland and meet those damned wolves." She groaned, putting her head between her legs.

"You know why you cant go, so stop complaining about it. I wont listen to you grumble for 7 days, ill make you live with Charlie. So you better get over this in the next 30 minutes." I said, with stern, false authority.

"Whatever." She grumbled, getting up.

I heard a door slam upstairs and chuckled to myself.

Bella ran past me on the stairs, the old Bella would have tumbled over top of herself, but this Bella glided effortlessly, leaving behind her intoxicating scent. She was in an absolute frenzy, throwing huge suitcases to Jasper to put into everybody's assigned car.

"Okay, Jake. We will be back in exactly 7 days, no more, no less. You have all of our numbers, I don't care if she gets a hangnail, you call me if _anything_ happens Jacob, _anything_." She was putting her jacket on as she spoke.

"Considering her nails would withstand the force of a diamond cutter," I lead on, trying to ease Bella's obvious anxiety.

"You know what I mean." She chuckled.

The rest of the Cullen's gathered in the living room from every witch way, calling Renesmee downstairs at the same time. She skipped down the stairs, flicking my ear on her way, and ran into Carlisle's open arms, giving everybody hugs and kisses as she moved down the line, almost choking giggles while Seth pulled her into a death grip. She finally reached Bella, and looked up at her with singing, smiling eyes.

"I understand why I have to stay Mom, and even though I am not happy about it, I appreciate you guys trying to protect me. I hope you have fun, I'll be fine here with Jake."

Bella smiled. "Thank you so much. I don't feel so guilty now." She tucked a loose hair behind her ear. "I love you baby, have fun."

Nessie kissed her on the cheek and gave her one last hug before turning to Edward. He looked at her, obviously proud of her maturity, and hugged her tight. He kept her under his arm as he turned to me. The rest of the line followed, looking strict, as if to remind me to take care of her, like it would make a difference. I wasn't offended; I probably would have done the same thing. Everybody, even Blondie, came over to give me a proper goodbye before walking towards the garage.

Everybody exchanged brief "I love you's" before climbing into their cars, and backing up out of the driveway.

With that, we were alone, maybe for the first time in Carlisle an Esmes house. She twisted to me, smiling, no longer bitter.

"So, what are we doing today boss?"

"Uhmm, whatever you want really, we can go for a ride on the bikes, or to the beach, or run around the woods, maybe Port Angeles? But, Emily and Sam are gonna have a bomb fire later, so if your not too tired, we can go to that."

"Okay, that sounds fun, as long as everybody doesn't try and eat all my hot dogs this time, I got like one last time." She started walking towards the door, picking up her bag.

"I doubt that," I said. I picked up her bag and threw it in the back of my truck while she locked up the house.

_ ***_

"Embry, don't even think about it!" I chuckled, as I snatched up one of the hotdogs I saw him eyeing on the paper plate balancing on Claire's knee. She turned and thanked me with a smile, for saving her food.

He glared and directed his attention to the burgers Emily was grilling with Sam. Behind her I saw Billy referee the third round of Paul, Jared, and Jakes wrestling match. Kim and I were too busy trying to French braid Claire's hair to notice Quil's harmonica playing the background.

I loved these bomb fires. I loved being with the pack, having fun, laughing, telling stories, relaxing by the warmth of the fire, watching Jacob unwind. I wouldn't trade them for anything.

"Alright kids, come and get em'," Emily called, and everybody ran to the small little grill, besides me and Claire.

We giggled with each other, watching Embry and Jared fight over the condiments.

I loved the pack, like my own family; I loved the energy I felt when I was around them.

But, I really missed the feeling of being surrounded by my own family unit. They were gone for one day, and I was already desperately homesick, knowing I wouldn't be able to go back home and in the arms of my frozen relatives for another 6 days.

Quil came running towards us to pick up Claire. Spinning her above his shoulders with one arm, ruining the braid I just spent 20 minutes of my life on, while he fixed her a plate with another. Jake took her place by my side in an instant.

"Want a burger kid?"

The question, meant to make me feel comfortable, actually just made me remember that he wouldn't understand the kind of craving I had at the moment, and that the only people that could were thousands of miles away from me.

"Eh, not really. I'm not hungry for _that_ kind of food today." My nose wrinkled at the thought of eating one of those lumps of overcooked cow, saturated with its own fat. Jake chuckled.

"I'll go hunting with you if you want," I felt awful, he knew I was uncomfortable, he knew everything.

"No, I'm good right now, maybe later." I played with my fingers while I spoke.

He looked at me questioningly.

"You okay Ness? You seem upset,"

I hated that he could sense the slightest change in my mood.

"Yeah,"

My voice finally broke, and I didn't know why. His arms wound around me, lifting me to carry me farther away from everybody. I hated that I loved how he knew exactly what was wrong with me all the time.

His eyes searched mine, looking for a breaking point, a hint to how I was feeling, how he could help.

"Tell me what I can do," he pleaded.

I just laughed. "Jake, please. I'm fine, I just miss them, and its kind of pathetic actually, in point of the fact, they have only been gone like, what," I looked at his watch, "9 hours?"

I didn't understand the way he looked at me, his eyes stinging mine with, desperation? Anger? Then he chuckled. _Oh Jacob, my bi-polar Jacob._

"Ness, aren't you comfortable with us by now?"

"Don't be stupid. Of course I am. I always am."

"Then why are you moping?"

I crossed my hands over my chest, defensive.

"Do you want to like, apologize or something?"

"No."

He wouldn't look me in the eye. I was so confused.

"Then why are you being a brat?"

"A brat?" He questioned a little chuckle in his tone, still not making eye contact.

"Uhmm, Yeah."

The whole conversation took half a second; Jake lifted his eyes to mine.

"I just wish you would think of us as your family sometimes, I don't know why you would get homesick if we are with you; you should feel at home when you're here."

I was just as shocked as I was disappointed, I never thought me missing something I loved would bother Jake? How could be envious of _my family_? It wasn't like him. But I couldn't help but need the look in his eyes to go away, for him not to ogle at me with those wounded russet orbs of his. I would have given anything to have inherited mind reading in this moment.

I sighed. "Jacob, I don't know what your talking about, you know that I consider you my family. Why would you be mad at me for missing my family? I would just as much miss you guys if you left for a week. Stop acting like I don't love you as much as I love them; stop acting like it's a competition, your so annoying when you're competitive." I shoved him. "You don't get to be mad at me for loving my family? I can't even fathom why you would be upset at the fact that I miss them? They are my _biological family_, so get over it." I huffed and turned around to storm away for dramatic effect. He didn't stop me.

***

I grunted while I shoved Paul and my side and attempted to pin him by his stomach, I pushed down on his upper body and he attempted to snap at my neck. We had been going at this for about an hour, it was getting old. But Paul was never one to give up.

"Alright kids, come and get em." I heard Emily shout. The second it took for her and the succulent smell coming from her grill to distract me, Paul had groped my in a head lock, snarling under his breath, before tossing me to the side to get his food. He was still shaking with his adrenaline as he walked.

I gathered myself, ignoring Billy and Jared's chuckles from the sideling and walked toward the grill.

"Your not even fun to fight with anymore dude, you get way to into it." I called to Paul, swatting the back of his head. He whipped around and growled, then walked away with a plate full of food into the house, to calm himself down, classic Paul.

I looked over to Ness. Her hair tied into a loose, low pony tail, flowing over the side of her shoulder, over her t-shirt, which hung loose against her jean shorts. She was giggling with Claire, playing with her hair.

I loved seeing her, relaxed like this, especially on the reservation, it filled me with a sense of false hope that she actually belonged here, with me, with _us_.

I sat down beside her, the heat from the fire immediately making me uncomfortable.

"Want a burger kid?"

My smile plunged, the second her face did. I could sense it immediately, her discomfort with where she was, who she was with. I didn't know how, but I could almost smell her repugnance. I knew this would happen eventually.

"Eh, not really. I'm not hungry for _that_ kind of food today."

In any other situation, the way her nose wrinkled would have been adorable, but now, subconsciously, I found it kind of offensive. I felt ridiculous automatically, why would I be offended by her responding to her natural instincts? We were not the same; I would need to accept that sooner or later.

"I'll go hunting with you if you want," I offered, trying my hardest to remain flexible.

"No, I'm good right now, maybe later." Her head was directed at her lap, her fingers lacing around each other in different combinations as she attempted to occupy her mind with them. It killed me to see her uneasy like this, I didn't understand why she would be so uncomfortable.

"You okay Ness? You seem upset?"

I didn't even hear her response, just the squeak in her unsteady tone. I instinctively stole her up and away from the crowd. I knew she wouldn't be able to handle the swarm of questions that would undoubtedly follow if she started to cry. I needed to know exactly what was wrong, so I could fix it. I couldn't bear to miss her smile for a second longer.

I set her on the very border of the forest, just below the edge of the shade coming from the canopy above us. She barley responded to the change in location, she just stood there, staring at her hands, not wanting to show any sign of what she was really feeling, out of place.

"Tell me what I can do," I begged.

A giggle broke through her grimace with resistance. It was forced, constructed merely to calm my apprehension.

"Jake, please. I'm fine, I just miss them, and its kind of pathetic actually, in point of the fact, they have only been gone like, what," Her cool fingers searched for my arm, glancing at my watch before continuing, "9 hours?"

I wished I could have seen the way I looked at her, because her returning expression was absolutely dumbfounded. I couldn't handle the fact that she didn't feel at home with me. After all we have been through, after the time we have spent. Why would she be homesick with me right next to her? I thought I could fill her holes, mend her voids.

I finally realized right then and there, that she wasn't her mother. I wasn't capable of making her complete when she wasn't, like I could with Bella.

Renesmee missed her real family. And no matter how much I wished it was true, that was not me. I would never be enough for her, she would always need them.

We were two different people, from two different backgrounds. Hell, we were two different specious, created to hate one another. We were naturally programmed to repel the other, and nothing I could say would ever change that. We were not made for each other the way I thought we were, the way I wished we were. Just because I have imprinted on Ness, doesn't mean she imprinted on me. What would stop her from going out and falling in love with some piece of shit vampire from some random coven in the Alps? The thought was unbearable.

My thought process was broken by a restrained chuckle, realizing the source of all my uncertainty was cause by a fucking cheeseburger.

"Ness, aren't you comfortable with us by now?" I asked, trying to break the soon to be awkward silence, cause by my trance.

"Don't be stupid. Of course I am. I always am." She said through an uncomfortable guffaw, as if to make fun of my question all together. Typical. Of course she wouldn't tell me the truth. That would be absurd! I didn't really have a response, my thoughts were elsewhere. Like how I would forever with the girl I loved, if she didn't want to spend forever with me.

"Then why are you moping?" I spat.

Her hands crossed her chest, like I assumed they would.

"Do you want to like, apologize or something?" She said, sounding like a spoiled little schoolgirl.

"No."

I couldn't even look at her; I didn't feel like getting lost in her perfection, just to know I would loose it all together.

"Then why are you being a brat?"

"A brat?" I chuckled. Did she really just say brat? I loved her immature vocabulary at times like these.

"Uhmm, Yeah." Her tone remained solid.

"I just wish you would think of us as your family sometimes, I don't know why you would get homesick if we are with you; you should feel at home when you're here." My voice was hasty.

And by then, I couldn't even think, I couldn't even listen to the speech she was trying to give me. All I knew right now, was that she didn't belong here. And I didn't belong with her. All I knew was that I was going to have to defy fate to be able to keep her forever. No matter how much I hated it, I was a werewolf, and she was a vampire. No matter how much I tried to deny it, under all of her lotions and shampoos, she still smelt like a bloodsucker to me. No matter what I did, that would _never _change.

I was distracted when I was pushed, but not enough to break my train of thought. I looked at her face, her hair, the curve of her body, the flush of her cheek, and knew that I couldn't live without them. I watched her turn and storm away from me, with a little skip in her step, knowing that the world would be a cold stranger if that skip didn't remain my constant.

I couldn't lie to her anymore. I couldn't be away from her anymore. I wouldn't. I needed to be able to hold her, to make her blush, to make her happier than she's ever known. She needs to know the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, and I'll have to be the one to tell her.

I didn't know what taking that chance would mean, but I hoped to god she would see that I couldn't, that I _wouldn't_, live without her, all of her, _forever._ And that maybe, she would see it the same way.

**AuthorsNote: Yeah, sorry. This chapter was kinda fluffy. I'm just trying to establish some things before I really crack into my storyline. I wanna try and be as throe as possible. **

**Stick with me. **

**But, next chapter might take awhile. I still haven't put everything together yet. **

**I'm willing to offer a sneak preview for a few reviews (: ? **

**Say, 10? **

**Yeah, 10. **

**Bwahaha. **

**Thanks. **

**Love you guys(: **

**-STEPH **


	9. Chapter 8

Chapter8

(Bella)

The drone of the accelerating car was soothing after a 2 whole days of being on and off of planes, in and out of airports, surrounded by temptation.

Edward's warm fingers meshed around mine, his thumb massaging circles up and down my thumb, giving me imaginary goose bumps. I was more than relaxed, a step closer to sleep than I had been in awhile.

I starred out the window, the cool glass on my forehead, trying to make out individual trees out of the blur of speed, concentrating on the feeling of Edward's hand.

I let my eyes close, and opened my mind, stretching my elastic barrier away from me with ease, allowing Edward to remember with me; the first time I had ever felt his ice cold skin. It was a dull, blurred, human memory.

I thought, for the both of us, how I would never get over the warmth of him, warmth I loved more than anything. Even after 7 years, I couldn't get over the fact that we were _equals, _the way we were intended to be.

He squeezed my hand, and I turned to look at him. My favorite crooked smile stretched his lips to the corner, creating a dimple that made my dormant heart jolt. He lifted our hands, and gently brushed mine with his soft, satin lips.

I smiled, while I pulled my hypothetical elastic back, snapping it securely to protect my thoughts.

"Ugh, do you really have to?" He whimpered. "I love being able to hear you."

I chuckled. "Where's the secrecy in that Edward? We wouldn't be exciting if you could hear what I was thinking."

"There's nothing more exciting to me than your thoughts, love."

He planted kisses on each of my fingers, and around my wrist. He stared at me through enticing, thick lashes, ignoring the fact that he was driving at lethal speeds.

"Please Bella, just for today."

I giggled, and leaned across the middle of the car to kiss him on the cheek, our hands still tangled.

I breached my mental barrier, to give an unyielding no, and then snapped back the elastic in its proper place, where it would stay steadily, for the remainder of the day.

He smiled against my hand before nipping the tip of my forefinger. I was instantly, spontaneously aroused. Abruptly, I noticed that it had been at least 48 hours since my husband and I had some real "alone time".

My thoughts turned to actions as I turned to nibble, gently, on the lobe of his ear, sending a quiver through the depths of his chest. I smiled against him while I let him into my mind once more, simply to show him in detail, exactly what I had in mind.

His ear lobe instantly became his lips, moving with the same rhythm as mine. My thoughts became more graphic, as I climbed under and around his arm to straddle his lap, never breaking contact with his lips.

The rumble from his chest traveled up to his throat and I felt the car crawl slower, but never coming to a complete stop. My body shook with excitement and I realized, I needed him. Now.

He kissed me back vigorously, and we eventually melting into each others lips, unaware of our environs. My arms reached around his neck, grasping at his hair.

I drove myself into him unconsciously, and became instantly aggravated by the flimsy pieces of clothing holding us back from the pleasure we both hunted. With this in mind, I reached down to unfasten the buckle of his belt.

He groaned with satisfaction at every thrust of my hips.

The car creped slower and slower by the second, until he finally let go of the wheel, encircling his arms around my waist, pulling me closer to him, if that were feasible.

We bathed in each others aroma as our tongues danced, leisurely rhythmic.

My teeth closed around his bottom lip and we grunted together. I pulled my arms from his neck and began to unbutton his shirt, but stopped, when I heard a vibration coming from his jacket pocket. We both growled at the disruption.

I refused to break our fervent eye contact as I reached into his jacket and flipped open his phone. This wasn't over.

Alice was already talking when I pulled the phone to my ear.

"-I mean honestly! You can't go one car ride alone without jumping on each other!? You're holding us all up. If were not at the shore before the sun goes down we wont be able to find the dock. Now get off of him and hurry up. Carlisle and Esme are already ions ahead of you, if we don't go now we will loose them. Sometime I miss when you were breakable, Bella. This is just-" her frantic shriek was cut off mid-sentence as I snapped the phone shut, and shoved it back in Edward's pocket.

We laughed together while I broke our eye contact to glance back through the rearview window to see a procession of cars waiting behind us.

Emmett's jeep was in front. It had Rose beeping the horn impatiently, while Emmet sat in the passenger seat, comatose with his own laughter, while Seth sat in the back seat, chuckling at Rosalie's impatience I'm sure.

I looked back at Edward, who hadn't taken his smiling eyes off of mine, and kissed him once on the nose before moving myself back into my assigned seat.

"I can't wait for tonight," I giggled.

"Its twenty years till then," he quoted, pushing the speedometer all the way to the right, recuperating from our bypass.

I adored being able to have an unrestrained physical relationship with Edward. I still haven't come remotely close to getting my fill of him after 7 years. I sealed my elastic after that notion.

Our fingers laced yet again and my mind began to race against the chilled glass of the window, safe from Edwards infringe.

The voice that's been in the back of my head since the second I stepped out of the house began to grow louder, more persistent, as I pictured Nessies face in my head. I leaned over, to snuggle under Edwards arm.

"Edward, I hate being away from her." I groused.

"I know love, so do I." he massaged my shoulder, reassuringly. "Don't worry, she's fine. We haven't barley been away from her more than a few days since she was born. A modest amount of severance would do her some good in my opinion."

I heaved a sigh, accepting that fact that he was right, that he was always right. We rode in comfortable silence for a while.

"Love?" Edward whispered, so hushed; my late human ears wouldn't have had a shot at hearing.

"Mmm?"

"I miss her too."

I was instantly content.

I lifted my head, and was greeted with his dubious perfection.

I smiled at the simplicity of his remark that took only 4 syllables to work all of my unnecessary angst.

It was just like Edward, to have that remarkable capability, that only he had, to sooth my every anxiety with one sentence, one look, one kiss.

It was little moments like this that made my lifeless heart rethink its boundaries yet again. Little moments like this made my maximum capacity for the love I was physically able to contain rise, over and above its previous margin. The margin I was always positive was my breaking point.

I looked at my husband, my fate, with infinite adoration. My rationale absolutely melted when he bowed his forehead to mine, to look at me with the same amount of affection.

I nestled against him, pulling my knees around my arms, and opened my mind, to show him my newfound comprehension, my new boundaries.

His lips fell to mine, and they curved as one, they way they were predestined to curve.

He pulled away, and kissed my nose before returning his attention back to the road.

In that moment, I finally understood. I finally realized that I had no genuine scheme of how much Edward truly loved me when I was human.

I finally grasped, that this much, of all these types of love coursing through me right now, would have easily crushed any human heart.

Love for my husband. My daughter. My huge, diverse family. My best friend. My life. My sex life. My opportunities. My immortality. The fact that I was the luckiest, happiest person that would ever live.

It was all starting to settle in, yet again.

This was it; this was the absolute most my heart would be able to swallow. It is now officially impossible for me to experience anymore love than I do in this moment.

"Love?" My destiny purred.

Words failed me as I tried to reply, silence would have to do for now, while I tried to familiarize the new borders I have just discovered.

He saw me struggling for words and chuckled, seeing first hand, what I was going through.

"Its' a beautiful feeling isn't it?"

Silence was my response again.

"Don't try and rationalize it. You'll only drive yourself mad."

I sobbed, wryly, physically overwhelmed now. Every time he would speak, my heart fluttered over again. I needed time for it to compose itself, for fear of it soaring straight out of my chest.

He guided the car to the side of the road, ignoring the thoughts of his livid brothers and sisters, as he took my face in both of his hands, gaping into my eyes with glowing fervor.

I turned more comfortably to him.

This was defiantly _not_ helping me compose myself.

"This." He whispered, confident. "This feeling right now, is nothing even vaguely compared to what you will be capable of feeling in a few decades. This is just a diminutive turning point,"

I gasped, against my own will.

My heart was already radiating up my throat and out of my chest, my soul was already trying to filter this emotion in small fragments. And to imagine this emotion, magnified by decades, was honestly unbearable, almost painful.

He kissed my motionless lips before continuing.

"Even now, now that your heart has expanded ten-fold since being human, your love for me right now, still compares to maybe a dozen trees, to the entire forest."

A dozen trees became 2 dozen by the end of his sentence.

I remembered his words from when I was human, sitting in my dining room, Charlie's baseball in the background, and was hit with another one of these stranger waves.

I threw my arms around myself, as if to hold my body together from the feelings trying to tear me in half.

I remembered, vaguely, when I had to do this while Edward was gone. The thought made the waves crash harder against me. I held myself tighter.

He kissed me again.

"Every morning when you were human, when you would open your eyes from your dreams, and grab my hand with one of yours, while wiping the sleep from your eyes with the other, my forest would double in its complexity; green would begin to bud on barren trees."

I sobbed again. Without taking my arms from my sides, I threw myself into him. His arms wrapped around me, providing needed strength to keep my body intact, our eyes not leaving the others.

"Those buds would bloom to leaves, to flowers, every time that nervous blush would sneak across your face." He released an arm to brush his thumb across my cheek as he spoke, reminiscing. What I wouldn't have given to be able to produce even a single tear.

"Birds inhabited the trees the night you agreed to marry me, and began singing their songs, the moment you said 'I do'."

Edward's words were melodious. He spoke like he was reading from a book of sonnets.

"And Bella, oh my god. The first time we made love," He paused and held me closer, knowing how frail I was feeling. "I wish I could describe to you, how the essence of all the love I had ever felt for you, literally doubled within the course of a few hours." He closed his eyes. "I pray I could express to you what I was experiencing that night while I watched you sleep. But my love, I think we are going to have to live a few more centuries for a word like that to come along."

I couldn't bear to look into his eyes any longer. They were smoldering too much to endure. I buried myself into his chest, heaving unnecessary breaths, tolerant of the fact that my heart was growing with every word out of his mouth. I had never felt this before. I didn't know how to deal with it.

"Just know," He paused. "That my love for you intensifies every day. My own emotional limit expands by the hour. And will everyday, for the rest of our lives. So you better get used to this feeling, it wont be a stranger from here on out."

My new strength was beginning to set in, little by little, becoming familiar with every bone in my body.

Edward had me settled back into my seat, holding just my hand now, and was speeding down the road again before I even become aware of my surroundings.

My whole world was drained in this instant, except for the man sitting next to me.

I gawked at him.

Was it possible that I was able to survive before knowing a love like this? Was it really possible that I made it through 17 years without even knowing Edward, let alone loving him? How did I chug through even an hour of it, with only half of myself?

I took our knotted hands, reluctantly pulled them apart, and kissed his palm, his knuckles, each of his fingers. I led my kisses up his arm, to shoulder, to his temple. I kissed to his forehead, down the bridge of his nose, still sobbing. Before finally, thankfully, planting a kiss on his unturned lips.

I took my rightful seat under his arm, snuggled into his side. My arms encircled his waist like a flotation device.

I turned my brain inside out, hunting for the right words.

My mind wasn't closed to him, but he didn't interrupt my train of thought.

I loved him even more, if that were remotely possible, for letting me have this moment of silence to myself, to try and explain to him in words what I was feeling.

Even though it wouldn't have mattered, no words could have described the feelings sprinting through me.

He saw, he knew how much I adored him, but he still let me attempt to explain it. He knew I would have wanted to be able to say it out loud, on my own.

It was moments like this, that I thanked whatever angel in heaven gave me the power to let him see into my mind.

Because even if I couldn't _say_ it, I knew that he knew.

"Edward…I just…" I cried. "I just…I…I…I _love_ you."

I was embarrassed.

He was able to sit here, and spill every single one of his emotions poetically, and all I was able to offer him, was emphasis on the word love.

"I know, love." he chuckled.

Our lips met for one more innocent kiss, before accelerating the car to make up for our detour.

***

I smiled to myself while I listened to my husband ramble on and on, fueled solely by enthusiasm.

Though I was a little skeptical to his excitement, I still cherished seeing my handsome spouse this energized, it happened so very rarely now.

There wasn't a lot that could surprise him, after about 300 years. The last time I saw him this curious was when our Bella was pregnant with little Nessie, my grandbaby.

The thought of her sent a jolt of apprehension through my entire body.

I missed her more than I cared to say, we all did.

I knew she was more than okay, joyful even, back in Forks with Jacob, who I also missed dearly. Over the years, he had become like a son to me.

He added certain electricity to our family unit that nobody else could even fathom.

When we all took ourselves too seriously, you could count on Jacob to lighten the mood. At his best, he was the only person outside of our family that could make my Edward crack a smile under pressure. I adored him for that.

Jacobs love for our Renesmee was absolutely moving. I only hoped, that by time we returned, they would be even happier together as they were apart.

I decided to return my thoughts to the cherub sitting next to me. I slid my fingers through his hand, resting on my knee.

I let Carlisle continue, watching the different expressions illuminate his face as he came up with new questions he would ask to whomever we were traveling so far to meet.

I was already prepared to woo a leader's mate, while Carlisle hounded him with questions. I loved meeting new people, new potential blue-prints.

Maybe while I was here, I could make some renovations to their island. For all we knew, they were living in caves. That just wouldn't do.

Perhaps I would be able to build some type of urban log cabin? I could wash the logs white, accentuating them with a colored tint, with could coordinate with curtains, curtains that could hang from a large bay window right next to a two paneled door.

I closed my eyes, and began to imagine a neighborhood of my new municipal cabins, each of them a different tint of white, some remaining their original color.

The interior of the cabin would coordinate entirely with its colored tint. The number of rooms would have to depend on the size of the family, if they had families?

I decided on a 3 room maximum, if I wanted to stay loyal to the quaint feeling I wanted to classify these cabins with.

I dreamt up next a layout of a town, along with a neighborhood.

A convenience strip would be set up parallel to the housing district. A church could maybe sit in one corner of the settlement, a city hall in the other, a public library, a school or two. All constructed of wooden logs.

Every establishment would be run by the town, no profits needed. Everybody would work for everybody else, giving the town that homey, conservative feeling surrounding its every crevasse. It would be the smallest of smallest towns in northern Europe.

I snickered to myself, realizing I was dreaming up a state of established communism in my old-world fantasy rural community.

"-it's just so inconceivable, a colony of purebreds, living as a functional community? I won't believe it until I see it. I wonder how the Volturi hasn't found out. I wonder if they have any documented information on their existence. I need to know about their lifestyle. I won't rest until I do."

His words blurred as he murmured, more to himself than to me.

I smiled at my husband, squeezing his hand in pulsation.

"I absolutely love seeing you this eager." I said.

He leered, a little embarrassed. "Do I not always convey my enthusiasm lawfully, dear?"

I ignored his question, detecting its underlying tone of sarcasm. He obviously hadn't a clue how amiable he was when he was being so juvenile.

"It reminds me of when we first feel in love. You were always so," I paused, enchanted by the endearing expression on his face, to search for a word to describe the new excitement we both found in our new relationship, all those years ago.

I racked for a word that could describe the obsessive commitment that overpowered our better judgment, the incessant passion that flamed our every experience. We were like two infatuated teenaged, star crossed lovers.

"Finicky." I decided.

Carlisle's chuckle broke through my train of thought for a split second. He never failed to divert me with his hymn of bells.

After all this time, he could still successfully daze me with no exertion on his part.

"I doubt _finicky_ would be the word to render the way I felt when we first feel in love, angel."

"Intrusive?" I giggled.

His smirk curved to a grin by time he had decided on his answer.

"Euphorically suspicious." He said, hesitantly.

"Care to elaborate?" I asked, weaving our fingers in an out of one another in different combinations as I spoke.

"Well, angel. I wasn't used to being so, whole, before I married you." He eyes stayed on the road, his words flowing out like water under the bridge, careless, natural. "I suppose that I was apprehensive of the immense bliss I felt, all the time, when we decided to spend forever together. I was so _finicky_ because I was petrified of loosing the paramount element of my existence."

I sighed, content. My arm stretched the length of the separator between me and my husband, and massaged the back of his neck. My fingers caressed the hand that still remained in my lap.

"And, now?" I asked, putting more pressure on his neck.

"Now, my jubilance is something I dare not take for granted. I will always cherish the entirety you contribute to me daily."

His words still streamed with nonchalance, but highlighted with adoration I knew was there.

"The feeling is naught but mutual, darling."

The gravel crunched beneath us as he pulled to the side of the road, a joyous smile consuming his expression. Not even a second later, he was standing at my open door, wrought with masculance, offering me an open arm.

I stepped out of the car, surprised by the humidity, and linked my arms with his.

"Are we here already?"

"Yes, finally. We just need to wait for the others, and we will be on our way."

We strode down the desolate, dirt road, arm and arm.

Thick fog hung low to the ground, swirling about our steps as we paced through it.

On both sides of the road was a forest as green as the ones back home. I was disturbed by the eerie silence coming from all directions. I looked to my sides, seeing no motion from either end of the trees.

I gripped closer to Carlisle's arm.

I couldn't understand why the ghostly quiet coming from the green made me so uneasy.

I tried to stay tranquil, focusing on Carlisle's pace, synched with mine.

About 50 feet in front of us the woodland faded to seashore. I could make out a mass body of water through the murk.

Right in the middle of the bay was a diminutive, stilted boating dock, not meant for holding more than maybe 300 pounds. Loose ropes were attached to thick, wooden poles on the both sides of the plank, deteriorated by time.

The mist suspended with the water, moving matched with its waves, crashing onto the ashen sand before pushing the haze around it, making waves of vapor push back along the shoreline, moving in ripples before the force vanished into itself.

It was absolutely beautiful, untouched, a virgin island. Absentmindedly, I pictured a massive, window walled beach house, right on the shore, against the tide.

This place defined Renesmee.

I pictured her and Jacob, well settled into their lives, 80 years from now. Walking, splashing along the coast.

Thinking of Jacob, the beach house spontaneously grew a massive garage attached to the long, marble driveway.

A loud roar came from behind us.

I turned with Carlisle to see Emmett's jeep speeding up the gravel walkway. Alice's porche was shielded behind it, splattered with mud from Emmett's 4 wheel drive. I was instantly anxious, remembering that Edward and Bella followed right behind us in the line up. Where did they go?

Emmet and Rose walked toward us, Emmett's massive arm swung around my beautiful Rose, they looked so perfect together. I smiled at them as they approached, snuggling closer to my husbands glowing perfection. Seth followed, humming to himself, his hands in his pockets.

I didn't have to look over Emmett's towering body to see Alice sitting on top of Jaspers shoulders. The second she was in a 10 foot radius of Emmet, she was already at his throat about the mud spackling her yellow porche.

There was no doubt in my mind that Japer was dousing him in waves of remorse, because Emmet was busy assuring Alice he would clean the car the second he got a chance. Alice giggled with Jasper while Emmet begged for mercy. Rose rolled her eyes.

Carlisle and I chuckled together, giving ourselves a moment to appreciate our children's personalities, until I remembered the absence of two of my beloved personas.

"Hey!" I shouted over the noise, "Where's Edward and Bella?" I searched their faces, concerned.

"Oh, they pulled over for some backseat lovin'. They won't be long," Emmet paused, trying to contain himself. "You know Edward." Emmet said, before roaring with laughter. We all shook our heads at his immaturity. I look to Alice for confirmation.

She nodded, stifling amusement. "They'll be here in 3 minutes."

Surely enough, 3 minutes later, the Volvo came buzzing up the path. Edward opened the door for Bella and they walked toward us smiling, Edwards arm wrapped securely around Bella's tiny waist. It still astounded me sometimes, how happy they were. I never understood how my family ever felt truly, complete, before Bella and Nessie came along, and graced our existence.

"Sorry guys," Bella called through giggles, trying to disregard whatever Edward was purring in her ear.

We all stood now, in a circle, waiting for what was supposed to happen next. We all looked to Rosalie and Emmet hopefully.

"Don't look at us. She said it was about 5 miles north of the dock." Rose snapped, annoyed our stares.

"Rose. Pre-tell, how did you suppose we would travel 5 miles north of the dock?" Jasper asked, killing her with kindness.

"I don't know, when I hear dock, I think boats. I assumed there would be a ferry or something." She searched the coastline while she murmured, obviously looking for some form of transportation.

After a few moments silence, it got a little awkward.

"We could swim!" Emmet exclaimed, throwing his shirt to his feet and taking off toward the ocean. Seth followed splashing as he ran into the crashing tide.

Alice looked like she had been bitch slapped.

"Are you crazy!? We have luggage Emmet. And we don't even know where it is," she fought.

"What else are we supposed to do Alice," Jasper asked.

"Ugh, anything but that," She cried, getting down off of Jaspers shoulders.

"Come on!" Emmet yelled enthusiastically, "it'll take us 5 minutes."

We all looked at each other deciding, and walked toward the water, standing at the coast line before descending slowly into the ice water, making me a few degrees colder than my body temperature. We swam in a straight line, with the grace of a school of dolphins. The water sliced through us with ease, and within minutes, we hit shallow water.

I looked up when I felt Carlisle's arm pull me close to him.

Surrounded by the vast blue waves, the high, island of green was a breath of fresh air, a cool glass of water.

It was beyond beautiful. It described fresh, unsoiled.

The island had no beach; the sharp rocks just grew into rich, thick patches of prominent, deep green grass. All I could see what green, it overtook the whole island.

Birds circled the air over the island, landing on the thick boulders beneath them, and I suddenly wondered how anybody could survive in a place to marvelously desolate.

The island looked fit to hold an ancient, stone castle. It looked like it belonged to an ancient Mian civilization, instead of an urban pack of rabid werewolves.

This island was well out of its time, a needle in a haystack.

Despite the tolerance I had gained from Jacob and his friends, with each stroke closer the island, the wolve smell was almost unbearable; I was a few paddles shy of dry heaving.

How something so beautiful could, smell so rank, defied my logic.

We finally reached one of the sharp, gray stones and climbed on, one by one, trying to hold our breath from the fumes that surrounded us.

"Oh…My…God, this is excruciating." Bella choked between gasps.

"Ugh! I know. What do they bathe in?" Rosalie answered.

"Fossil fuels?" Bella stifled.

We heard a round of giggles, and the smell was suddenly the last thing on our minds.

He hoped up from behind the largest of the boulders, starring at us with welcoming, skeptical eyes. His shaved head reflected the midday sun as he walked towards us.

Behind him, bald men and women rounded the boulder, not taking their eyes away from their new visitors. Their eyes were defiantly crueler.

Our attention was diverted back to the man atop the rock.

"Welcome," he almost whispered, his Irish tone indecipherable. "We have defiantly not been expecting you."

We could do nothing but stare at the hairless creatures in front of us, staring us down with burning atomicity. They looked like they were from a different planet, a different galaxy.

We walked on, totally oblivious to what would happen next.

**AuthorsNote: Ahhhh, sorry guys. Still a tad fluffy. I promise that it will get more substantial soon. **

**Anyways, enjoy. **

**Please review, there the only things that keep me writing, and I have so little (: **

**Thanks. **

**-Steph. **


	10. Chapter 9

**AuthorsNote: Wow, like seriously, sorry it took so long. But its summmmer! I've been busy livin' it up with my frannds. I'll try and pump next chapter out faster, even though your ****rare**** reviews aren't giving me much inspiration ******

**Enjoy.**

Chapter9

(Carlisle)

The sun hung low to the western horizon as I was led over the cascading hills of an unknown island, by powerfully built, baldheaded strangers. My family trailed hesitantly behind me.

The smell was piercing, stabbing deeper with every step I took, but it was nothing we couldn't handle.

I returned a smile to the cynical glances shot at me from the hairless horde surrounding me, alert to every alien eye on us. But I kept my eyes straight in front of me, refusing to acknowledge their stares. I wasn't sure of the situation we were in, and I needed to stay strong, for the sake of my family.

We rounded the top of the last valley, and I gave my eyes a minute to appreciate what lay before me.

The greenest grass I have ever seen, blanketed the terrain with precision, recessing only to give space for the few ponds and rivers running wildly about separate colonies of pallid tents. Outside each tent, a fire blazed. The lack of trees was made up for by the hundreds of bushes, blooming sporadically around the landscape, highlighted sporadically with dazzling spots of flowers. In the center of all the tents, stood the largest pavilion of all, creating a blemish of russet, out of the sea of white. Gigantic mountains of boulders were peaked in the distance, accentuated almost artistically by the beautifully bulbous blushing clouds that set the backdrop of this surprisingly modest campsite.

More hairless mutants stood by their fires, came out of their tents, looked up from the streams, to watch us saunter toward them.

As I walked nearer, I was able to see a massive inferno, blazing behind the brown gazebo in the center of the camp. The heat radiating from it held one of the foulest stenches I have ever had the displeasure of experiencing. I looked closer, around the tent, to see what was being scorched. I opened my mouth to inquire what was being burnt, but Emmet beat me to the punch.

"Christ!" Emmet shouted, covering his nose. "What the fuck are you guys cooking over there!?"

The odor was waved toward me as the colony whipped around in synchronization. Their sharp, black eyes shot to Emmett's, enraged.

The largest _man_, the obvious leader, glided past me towards Emmet, as we instinctively stepped back. The muscles in the strangers back flexed flawlessly with fury, his broad shoulders obviously shaken.

Each of our lips pulled back against our teeth. Rosalie's roar from the depth of her chest was more dominant than the rest of ours. Emmet looked like a lawn gnome compared to the towering strength of the fiend that stood before him. Their eyes locked and glowered, Emmett's watch narrowed in an attempt to be courageous, a chiseled line forming over the top of his brow.

Edward broke the throbbing silence.

"He meant no harm, he just didn't know. I assure you sir, it won't happen again."

The monstrous eyes didn't leave Emmett's as he snarled.

"On this island, we are people of _faith_." His voice was gruff, packed with wrath. "Your language is entirely intolerable young man. We will _not_ stand for that." For the first time I'm sure, we all noticed his heavy Irish inflection.

His naked scalp glistened in the sun while he stepped closer, and that's when I first noticed the absence of his eyebrows. I glanced above the eyes of the pack behind him, sweltering to Emmet, and noticed that none of them had eyebrows either. I snapped back to my son when I heard the petulant, husked voice again.

"Do I make myself _copiously_ clear lad?" As he spoke, even with rage, it was hard note to appreciate the splendor that was his accent.

Emmet opened his mouth to reply, obviously insulted, and lifted his arms in defense while he stepped back from ogre affronting him.

"Crystal." Edward interjected, before Emmet could get himself in deeper.

"Brilliant." He replied, with brute force and a smile.

The outlandish male leader subsequently turned to me snidely with valor, looking me directly in the eyes. My confident smirk remained integral.

"I assume you're the chief of this fleet, eh solider?" He asked.

"I wouldn't exactly put it that way, but, yes, in a sense, I suppose I am." I replied, hesitant and a little discomfited to have de-ranked the rest of my family.

"Tremendous. Now, I have detected that your mate on the end there," He paused, to glance at Seth, like I feared he would have.

"Smells just a little differently that the rest of you," The man faced his palms toward us, as if to surrender.

"No worries captain, we know exactly what he is, and we are absolutely fascinated with his background," The man put is hands back to his sides and walked toward Seth, to put his arm around his tensed shoulders, and suddenly, I couldn't hear the steady beat of Seth's usual, ragged breathing.

"I would love to have a few of my right hand men ask this young lad a few separate questions in another wing of town while I talk with your family. That is, if that's alright with him." The man paused for an answer when we all looked to Seth. His body stiffened and his lips shut tight into a thin line of angst, hiding the fact that he was grinding his teeth together like sticks trying to create an ember.

"I don't mind," Seth stated confidently, doing a wonderful job not making it obvious that his hammering heart was erratic with apprehension.

"Brilliant lad, marvelous! Ok, listen here." He turned Seth around, pointing him his directions.

"Walk past the church, that's the brown tent yonder. And walk into the second tent to the left, a man named Corbin will be waiting for you inside." The man clapped Seth's back strongly, sending him off, taking one intrepid glance at us before doing as he was instructed.

All of the other shaved Martians dispersed in different directions while we ambled toward our destination, besides the leader, and his assumed mate.

We strode past the brown tent, the repulsively reeking fire, and most of the strangers without Seth, before we finally slipped inside one of the larger white marquees.

Once inside, we positioned ourselves around a wooden, stained round table. The tent ceiling looked higher from the inside, so the room was surprisingly spacious, but empty, aside from the round table and a few book cases bordering each of the plain walls.

We stared at the strangers in front of us, taking them in.

The man wore all black, his turtle neck reaching just below the curve of his chin. His scalp was as perfectly sculpted, akin to the thin line of his lips. His muscular arm reached across the table to chastely seize the tanned hand of his mate.

Her expression was just as deadpanned. She too, dressed in dark colors. The line of her grey blouse accentuated the contour of her choler bone, her muscles still noticeable through the sleeve of her chemise. Though completely hairless, the woman was absolutely beautiful. Her eyes were also charcoal, accentuated by thick lashes. Her mouth bent into a pout, alluring her cheek bones to a pleasant curve. I noticed foremost, her lack of eye contact.

After a few moments of nothing but the sound a ticking watch, to my surprise, a smooth voice came from an angle I wasn't expecting. I looked to the woman sitting perpendicular from me.

"This is my husband, Clinton Kane McCarthy," While she introduced him, he looked up and nodded at us, soldierly.

"And I'm Mary Madeline McCarthy," She giggled.

"It's been ages I've heard our full names, out loud, eh. We typically just go by Kane and Maddie." Her voiced was also laced with a delightfully thick Irish accent.

My whole family, besides Emmet, was smiling tranquilly at the friendly tone, going up and down in all the right places.

"First off, Kane," I nodded at him, than looked to Maddie.

"Maddie" I gave her a polite, smiling bob, and then continued on.

"We would like to thank you sincerely, for allowing us to visit. We are very interested in your way of life and we want you to recognize that we are only here with the best of intentions." I laughed a little to myself, just at the sheer idiocy of where I was sitting right now.

"It was a total surprise when we found out you even existed." I put down my hands after my speech, realizing I had been using them to much for emphasis.

I proceeded to introduce my family by the couple.

After everybody knew each others name, Maddie's smooth Irish tenor started flowing again.

"Carlisle, you and your family are absolutely gorgeous." I could tell she shifted her eyes to Rosalie's glowing faultlessness,

"We are delighted to have you here, and almost as eager as you are to learn about your way of life. Vegetarian vampires are absolutely foreign to us. It's amazing the things you have done to preserve your morals." She hauled a sigh.

"It's very admirable." A lovely smile spread across her features, complementing her angular flaccid. The serene of her voice was soothing.

"Thank you, very much." I answered, pausing. "But I was wondering…"

Maddie interrupted before I could finish my thought.

"Of course, I'm sure you have tons of questions for us, we most defiantly do for you." She giggled, carefree. "Go ahead. Were open books."

I thought for a second, worthlessly. I already knew exactly what I was going to ask. But again, I was too slow.

"What _were_ you burning back there?" Bella asked, calm as always. There was nothing that could intimidate that girl.

"Well, Bella. We were burning hair. Our hair." Maddie stated flatly.

Bella just snickered, most likely to disguise her prying.

"May I ask, why?"

It was Kane who answered this time, his tone no less forthcoming than his wife's.

"As you can see, we shave from head to toe, only because it's our hair that makes us so pungent." He paused.

"As you know, the Volturi thinks they have eliminated us from the face of this earth, and we are doing our very best to make sure that they don't catch our scent in a place that would cause us problems. By shaving ourselves, we eliminate the risk of shedding on a run, and leading those heathens right to their target. We don't want the hair to sit around, catching wind. It's too thick to donate, and burying it would leave behind evidence of our existence, so, we burn it."

"Why are the Volturi after you anyways?" Emmet asked.

"Well, aside from the fact that we are innate adversaries," Kane answered.

"They seem to think that we are purely these menacing, carnivores' monsters, out to slay everything they have worked for. To be candid, in our 804 years as a society, we have never really sat down and discussed our hatred for one another." He chuckled.

"Well, you guys have got to have at least 80 to 100 people living here. You outnumber the Volturi by a few dozen. Tactically, _they_ should be trying to flee _you_. Right? " Jasper inquired.

"I suppose. But I guess they have always seemed like the bigger brother to our kind. I wouldn't want to question Mother Nature."

Kane and his wife answered our queries with ease. Each taking turns to answer within their personal areas of expertise.

By the end of the interrogation, this is what I deduced…

These wolves are absolute superior beings. They refer to themselves as 'the fleet' and are like family to each other. They have been fleeing the Volturi as drifters for at least 800 years, when their fleet came together as a whole. Each individual wolf having their own story, their own past, but deciding to allocate it with a group of creatures that shared their same fate. They have all resided on this island in Finland for a good 160 years.

The fleet works surprisingly as a sort of communalist circumstance. Taking only what the land will provide for them and making the most out of it. No money or bartering systems are considered necessary with the type of life they chose to live. Their output on life was not to revolve around a dollar, but to be independent from it.

I also gathered throughout the conversation, the fleets' focal objective. Merely, to live a _happy_ existence, free from any type of negative infliction. The only thing they want out of life is to be able to be liberally content together as a community, not having to pick up and leave everything behind when the Volturi is on their way. I admired that, probably more than anything. To live free from purpose, but, for being just, happy. They were simplistic, it was fascinating.

Regardless of the positive outlook they had on vitality in the light of day, they still couldn't help but be pessimistic.

According to Kane and Maddie, purebred wolves have a massive problem with being manic-depressive. They can't help but have fits of uninhibited depression, caused by a huge chemical imbalance in their brain that lost its equilibrium when their transformation took place.

The depression is spun even more out of control by wolves' inevitable hatred for themselves, for not having control over their actions during the night.

The instant the moon hits the horizon, every night; these people turn into rampant, animalistic monsters, and they loath themselves for it, for the fact that they have absolutely no control. The moon has forcefully reserved to right to swallow these people whole, into the darkness of the night sky, and will continue to do so, everyday, for the rest of their eternity.

We listened to both Kane and Maddies horror stories with our utmost concentration.

They talked about the misery they went through themselves, the endless nights of agony, alone in the woods, looking for a vice for their rage. They told us about the mornings that would follow, overflowing with regret, about whatever they vented their frustration out on the night before. They described in detail the things they had seen other wolves do to themselves, to their families, to complete strangers. All because they hated what had become of them. These nights were unstoppable they said, no matter how happy they were while they were human, the night would always be waiting for them, lonely and fuming. Nothing would stop the night from consuming their willpower, no amount of determination would keep them from become the monsters they were vehemently made into. That was bluntly obvious. It was achingly painful to witness, achingly painful to see that magnitude of remorse in another pair of eyes, and not be able to take away the anguish.

I looked to my left, and to my right, taking in my idyllic family, and for once in my 362 years of vamparistic experience, thought to myself, how lucky I was to be what I am. How lucky I was to be able to control myself. How lucky I was to be able to lie down at night next to my wife and know, that I have nothing to regret.

I couldn't bear to imagine living any other way.

***

By the time Kane and Maddie had finished teaching us, there was a dull haze of light still illuminating the tent. The moon would be replacing the descending sun momentarily.

"I truly think you guys ought to be getting back to the coast; the rest of the fleet has requested that your family spend the nights off of the island." Maddie sighed, and then continued. "Our kind is just a tad stronger than yours, and even though a bite wouldn't change your state, it would be easier to avoid confrontation. The fleet is rather self-conscious when they transform."

"Not a problem. It was wonderful to meet you; we will be back first thing in the morning, right?" Esme added charmingly, floating up from the table with more grace than the rest of us.

Maddie smiled and embraced her with smoldering arms.

"Of course, we have so much to still discuss."

My attention was sidetracked by Kane's robust handshake.

"Now, mate. You guys are going to need to really scurry out of here, we have a solid silver, 40 foot blockade that comes up when the moon does, and once it goes up, it doesn't come down until the mornin'. "

"We will be fine, until tomorrow my friend."

I gave his hand another firm shake before exiting the tent and running at inhuman speeds with my family back to the shoreline.

It wasn't until we were halfway through the rough current of the ocean between the island and the coast, that I first noticed the absence of Seth's steady, beating heart.

Edward and I stopped swimming immediately, everybody else followed.

"Seth!" Bella chirped after a few moments of silence, swimming back in the direction of the island with alacrity. We all were by her side in seconds, the freezing water tearing around us as we slashed the ocean in half with our fervid strokes of concern.

I suppose we didn't know why we were swimming back. The moonlight above us now glistened like diamonds across the wild waves. We already knew what was waiting for us back at the island, a 40 foot, solid silver blockade.

Sure as the glowing moon above us, the barricade greeted us from the water, reflecting light off of the silver it was made of.

As if on cue, wolves howled in ripples from the inside of the blockade, filling the atmosphere, making our fears for Seth's wellbeing tangible.

We didn't know what to expect, we didn't know what to think, what to do. So we bellowed for him, calling his name all at once, trying to scream above the wails of the militant animals inside Seth's temporary prison. We called for him, over and over and over. Only to be answered by another yowl from a monster dog. There was no way getting over that wall. So we turned around, defeated, and did the only thing we knew to do.

We swam back to the coast, and listened to the sounds coming from the island.

Breaking trees and falling rocks were the most predominant, apart from the constant drown of howls in the distance. Growls came from all different directions, always followed by an obvious collision of ardent dogs. After a clash you would hear the defected yelp of a wounded animal, until it would eventually fall silent. The rivers were constantly being splashed across, the bushes rustled. The one thing we didn't hear out of the war zone that was the island was Seth. That disturbed us more than anything.

Alice sat curled into a ball in Jaspers lap, trying desperately to break the impenetrable mental barrier that the wolves put up for her. She sobbed dryly as she pushed for a vice to see into the future, to see what would come of Seth in the morning.

Bella and Esme tried to comfort Alice with their calmer fits of vexed cries, while Edward and I stood in the water, discussing the possibilities.

"He is half-human Carlisle, if those wolves are as rampant and Kane and Maddie described, Seth being bitten and changed is unavoidable." Edward groaned through clenched teeth.

"How could we have been so irresponsible, to just forget him, forget that he wasn't with us. This is our burden. After everything Seth has done for this family, this is what he gets in return. We are liable Carlisle, this is on us."

"We aren't sure of anything right now Edward. Please, just don't be so cynical. He is _half_-human, _half-wolf_. He may not be able to change, regardless if he is bitten or not." I replied, wincing at the grind of a pulverized carcass.

"Don't be ridiculous. You know very well that Seth," He paused, closing his eyes with vigor. "Wont be Seth in the morning. You know very well, that the reason Renesmee wasn't able to come was that she was half-human. You researched the fact that if she was bitten, she would change. You know what is about to happen to Seth, so don't try and sugarcoat it. We need to be ready for what Seth is about to go through, because this _is _on us. "

I couldn't respond, he was more than right. It was inevitable. Seth wouldn't be Seth by tomorrow. And it was our fault. A pulsating vibrate came from the pocket of Edwards pants, his phone. I walked away as he hurled his phone into the waves in frustration.

All we could do now, was wait.

**AuthorsNote: Hope you liked it! I don't think this was my best chapter, but whatevss.**

**Pwwwease review!!? **

**The more reviews, the faster the chapters come out? Ya? **

**Haha. **

**Lovesies. **

**-Steph**


	11. AUTHORS NOTE! sorrry to disssapoint

Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey.

Okay so yeah sorry im taking so long to update, ive beeeen SO busy with summmmer & what not.

Micheal Jackson dying was also a huge setback ;'(

BUT!

I pretty much busy all week, until Monday. So I promise you that the next chapter will be out at least by next Wednesday.

Stick with me :/ ?

Keep reviewing!

Loveeeeeeeeeeeeeee:

-STEPH


	12. Chapter 10

**AuthorsNote: Im SO sorry this took to damn long. This was a challenging chapter, I knew what had to happen, but I didn't know how to make it happen, if that makes sense?**

**Anyway, enjoy.**

**See you at the bottem.**

Chapter10

(Renesmee)

I lay, coiled to myself in the warmth of Jakes massive bed, drifting off to sleep, the soothing melody of my lullaby coursing repetitively through my subconscious.

I was exhausted, considering me and Jake spent the day running around Port Angeles, hunting down parts for the car he was building for me.

Obviously, knowing Jacob, he absolutely insisted on building me my first car, I saw it coming before he even asked, without Alice, believe it or not.

The body isn't even framed yet. But, I think it will look first-class by time he's finished with it, they always do.

I personally wouldn't have minded grabbing a used car from an old lot, or getting my dream black Lexus Sedan. But, if Jacob making me my car from scratch made my best friend happy, then it made me happy.

Of course, it was Rose's dream that we would have the same BMW convertibles, hers red, and mine blue.

After a few weeks of fighting, they compromised.

Jake would _make_ me a blue convertible.

I wasn't looking forward to the future automobile brawls I was bound to be involved in. When it came to Jake and Rosalie's love for car mechanics, I knew that whenever my future convertible has the slightest of malfunction, its going be a constant fight to who will get to tend to my vehicles deficiencies.

I pictured the quarrels that would take place in the garage. The low blows they would throw at one another, turning one fight into another, I envisioned Rose rolling her eyes at one of Jakes dumb blonde jokes and my chest heaved.

I missed my family.

It had been almost two days since everybody left for Finland, and I wanted them home desperately. I couldn't help but count down the hours; until I would be in my own bed again, listening to my Dad rock me to sleep with my lullaby, playing smoothly from the piano in the living room. The hours until Jasper and I could sit, laughing hysterically, sending different emotional waves to Carlisle, watching him spin drastically out of character, roaring like a lion one minute, and crying like a lonely housemaid another.

As much as I missed them, I was happy to have been able to spend the time with Jake. It was better that I stayed.

I exhaled, content, and let the music in my head engulf me, drifting me as peaceful as a feather to precious sleep.

***

I crept, gliding the door as fast as I could, wincing with each screech of the battered hinge, terrified of waking her before I had a chance to watch her sleep.

After one final wail, the door stood open enough for me to slip in, knocking over the lamp on my bedside table in the process. Stealth obviously wasn't one of my strong suits.

I watched as the angel dreaming in my bed grumbled and rolled, thankfully into a position making it easier for me to see her face.

Through the darkness, I could only vaguely make out the petite figure tangled in my sheets. Longing to see the steady rise and fall of her breaths, I inched myself over to the window.

I steadily pulled the cord of my flimsy shudders, towing the plastic up the window at a snail's pace, watching her for signs of her rouse. It wasn't seconds later that the moonlight revealed her illuminant beauty.

I couldn't help but feel a bit pathetic every time I would sneak in her room at night to watch her dreams flicker across her eye lids. But it was well worth it, to be able to stare at her for hours at a time without being questioned.

I knelt next to the bed, settling myself as quietly as possible.

Her damp hair ran untamed over the pillow, down her face, moistening my tattered t-shirt she wore.

Her hair engulfed the room with the scent of pomegranate.

I closed my eyes and inhaled as much of the perfume as I could, finding home in its familiarity.

She stirred, and I was back.

I smiled while she pulled her arm under her cheek, creating an awkward open-mouthed pout, causing her breaths to now come out in high-pitched whistles.

I looked the clock on my bedside table; 11:17. I groaned at the realization that I didn't have much time left.

I dreaded having to wake her from the perfect state she was in, but I had to if I wanted everything tonight to go as planned.

Tonight, I would make her mine. My stomach fluttered at the notion.

"Nessie," I whispered with a smile.

No answer.

"Nesssssssssie,"

She turned herself towards the wall.

"Ness, wake up."

"No." She murmured into her pillow.

"Please?" I chuckled.

"No."

"Come on! It's really important."

"No." She grumbled, flipping her pillow to the cool side, one example of her adorable sleeping habits. Along with her whistling, her kicking, the fact she always woke up on the opposite side of the bed, her drooling, and, my personal favorite, her sleep walking.

"Come on Cullen, wake up."

She turned, groggily looking up at me. "You have got to be kidding me right now."

"I am not kidding you right now, get up. Please, for me." I begged.

"Don't pull that 'for me' crap Jacob. Im sleeping."

My brotherly persona then mechanically kicked in.

"Why does waking you up always have to be such a chore! Just get up! Quit being annoying!"

"Don't wake me up and we won't have an issue." She chuckled, closing her eyes.

"Okay, you're laughing, now I know you're awake. Just stand."

"No."

"Please!"

"No."

"Why!?" My voice rose, higher than intended.

"Cause now you're yelling,"

"Am not!" I…yelled.

"Stop yelling and ill get up." She sighed.

I took a deep breath, waiting.

"Are you calm?"

"Yes!"

"There, right there, the screaming is so unnecessary." Her voice was composed, laced with sarcasm.

(AN: hahahahh this whole conversation actually happened with me and my boyfriend like 3 days ago. Hahaha. I just had to put it in here.)

I closed my eyes, and spoke, evenly, as requested.

"Ness, please get up. I have something I want to show you."

"Alright Jake, I would be happy to, thanks for being so considerate, waking me in such a peaceful fashion."

She flipped the covers off of her hastily, and stood to look me in the eye.

"What." She spat, not so sarcastically.

My face was lit with a smile, as I held up a blindfold.

"Put it on," I asked.

"No."

I scoffed and turned her around.

"I hate when you act all mysterious, it's so annoying." She huffed, the intoxicating pout of her lip making my heart thump.

"You love it." I chuckled, double knotting the blindfold around her eyes.

With that, I was sprinting, not taking my eyes off of the angel in my arms, as I dodged and ducked in the appropriate places.

It wasn't minutes before I had her sitting right where I wanted.

"Happy Belated Birthday."

I lifted the blindfold, and smiled against her hair as her breathe caught.

***

The lights were so sporadic, stringing from every possible surface around us, surrounding me from every direction; it was difficult to center my eyes on just one thing. All I knew, before I was able to focus, was that I was sitting on top of the house, on top of _my_ house.

The white glow of the luminosity accented the night sky with perfection; beautiful, but still didn't dare surpass the splendor of the stars glistening above them.

The roof top was blanketed with fresh rose petals, contrasting in order, making a magical pattern of red and pink. The candles surrounding the border of the roof made the dew on top of the waterproof petals shine.

The wind was moist and sweet, refreshing with crisp aroma of flowers and freshly cut grass.

A subconscious shiver shot through me at the chill of the summer's breeze. Instantly, a quilt draped over my shoulders.

I glanced back to a smiling Jacob, my face twisted with confusion.

"What is this Jake?" I turned to face him, bringing the quilt with me.

"I felt bad for not doing anything particularly special for you on your birthday." He shrugged, as if what he had just done for me was the equivalent to a Hallmark card. "I knew how much you loved this house. So I had the pack help me with all the lights." He picked up a handful of the roses we rested on.

"The roses were all Leah and Claire. So you can thank them later. I really wished they wouldn't have though, It smells too fancy up here."

I giggled. "I think it complements your fur stench perfectly."

"Good one, real nice."

"Im a nice person." He chuckled, most likely making fun of me.

"This is really amazing, thank you."

"I got you something," he answered, reaching into his pocket. The glow on his face complemented him flawlessly.

"For your birthday,"

My jaw dropped.

No words would describe the perfection of the ring he held up. The diamonds reflected rainbows, bouncing from one of the diamond flowers, to the other. The inscription in the white gold band read: '_forever my constant'_.

I looked up at him for some sort of answer; his eyes were wide, plump with adoration. I wish I could have put my finger on why suddenly my stomach fluttered at the sight of the sentiment etched into his features.

"Jake," I began, hesitant, only to be cut off by his warm hand, sliding the ring onto its proper finger.

""I don't want any fights." He said, firm. "I don't want any complaints about the money, or the gesture." He lifted my chin with his hand, trailing a different type of goose bumps down my spine.

"I really, really would love for you to accept this." He netted our fingers, resting my glistening ring finger on top of his.

"Cause I really, really loved getting it for you."

I silently chuckled at the diversity of our skin tones. Mine, ghostly white in the moonlight, and his, obnoxiously tanned.

I kneeled to my knees, untwining our fingers, letting the blanket gather around me.

I hugged him with everything I had, my scrawny arms wrapped around his immense strength.

"Its gorgues. Thank you, again." I whispered into his chest. "But, you already gave me a promise ring."

A snigger quaked through his entire body. I felt it bubbling up through his stomach, and couldn't help but grin.

"I can't believe you actually remember that."

I backed away, brow furrowed. "How could I forget?"

I had fallen in love with the woven promise ring Jake gave me for my first Christmas. I cried for hours when I found out I didn't fit me anymore, a few growths later.

But, I kept it close by at all times, inside the locket Mom gave me for the same Christmas, the ring encircled the picture of me and my parents. I opened the locket to show Jake my memento. His face lit, and predictably, mine followed.

"Your too perfect, dimples."

I shrugged, sitting back down to pull the quilt on again. "That's what they tell me."

We sat, huddled under that quilt for god knew how long, who

cared how long. We laughed about old times. He told me stories about before I was born. We dreamt about times to come, made plans for the future. We tried to dance, but Jakes mammoth clown feet were a massive obstacle.

I realized, under that quilt, beneath the stars, how much I took Jacob for granted. I understood how much I truly needed him. I always knew I needed him, in a sense. But this feeling was different, almost an ultimatum. I lay, engulfed by roses, by candles, surrounded by comfort, by love, because Jacob had taken the time to make it so. And it that moment, never so strongly before, I was petrified to loose him.

The night got colder while we reminisced.

It was freezing outside. The only thing keeping me warm was the industrial strength heater, lying sprawled next to me. I could feel the numb red of the tip of my nose, the cold blush of my cheeks. I cuddled closer to his warmth, starring up at the stars.

From every perimeter, the lights suddenly shut off, and I shot up on my elbows, starring at Jake, confused, through the light of only the candles around us now.

He chuckled, im assuming at the overdramatic crease of inquiry between my eyebrows.

"It's okay. That was supposed to happen." He said, his hand reaching to pull the hood up of the sweater I was wearing.

"It's almost time!" He took my hands and rubbed them between his, the friction was defiantly helpful.

"I assume in some cliché attempt to be spontaneous your not actually going to tell me what 'it's almost time' for. Correct?"

"Bet your bottom dollar."

My answering smile was subliminal; Jacob and his irresistible charm.

I lightly dozed, waiting for whatever it was almost time for, still somewhat conscious. The drowsiness was enjoyable, allowing me to take in the light sounds and delicious smells of my rooftop. Jake mumbled lightly a story about my mom's pregnancy, my birth, and the first few days of my life.

I rolled my eyes, smiling internally at the bundle of lies.

My whole family had lied to me about my birth since I was a baby. They told me that it was a smooth pregnancy, and an even smoother birth. They told me that I was a perfect baby, despite my growing habits.

Little did they know, I actually recalled everything about my birth. I remember every second of being inside my mom's womb, as disgusting as that might sound. I regret every broken rib, every vicious kick, every gruesome feeding. I dread the memory of ripping my mother from the inside out, thirsting for blood. Im ashamed everyday of the monster I was, of how close I came to killing the person who loved me most in the world, the woman who fought for me with her life when nobody else gave me a second thought.

My family lied to me for that exact reason, so that I wouldn't have to feel an ounce of regret for what I once was.

I loved them even more for that.

Of course, Dad knew. Dad was the only person that could console my tears over the indignity I felt. For countless nights he was the only one that held me while I bawled in the middle of the woods, away from everybody else. But we both chose to keep it a secret from the family.

Daddy and I knew shame; we knew it better than anybody else.

Jakes kissed my forehead, hacking my train of thought.

"Nessie, open your eyes."

The black of my eye lids parted to absolute magic. I twisted to Jake within the quilt, awed.

"I can't believe-" I began, enthralled.

"Shhhhhhh." He wrapped me within the circle of his arms, angling me so that it was easier to look up the supernatural illumination floating above us.

The Aurora Borealis; The Northern Lights.

Its radiance swayed in waves, smooth, endless, flawless. Its silken, glossed current lit everything in its path, highlighting around us a paranormal turquoise glow. I was absolutely transfixed as I watched the blue tint of the lights fade to violet, then to green.

This was something I had always wanted to see. I remember the phase I went through with the Northern Lights a few years ago, doing endless research on them, looking through heaps of pictures. They fascinated me. How couldn't they? Something that stunning was bound to be fascinating.

The nighttime rainbow above me twisted and curved with the winds inhibitions, my resolve flowing along with its poise. The silhouette grew, its stream spanning as far as I could see, coloring the atmosphere. I could never have even imagined that something could be that beautiful, that magical. The emerald faded to yellow, all the worlds transgression sinking below the soil.

I heard Jake suggestively clear his throat and I turned to face him. The lights above us imitated the gleam of his auburn stare. I just smiled, to thankful for words, waiting for what he had to say. The set of his jaw was serious, the crease in his forehead solemn. When he didn't talk, I broke the silence.

"Just when I think you couldn't make me any happier," I giggled, glancing back up to the now orange lights. "You go and do something like this." I leaned over to plant a kiss on his cheek. "How many times am I gonna have to thank you tonight?"

He was uneasy, I could sense it. He was pulling apart rose petals in his lap, unable to look me straight in the eye.

"What's wrong?" I asked, a little frustrated at him for ruining the moment.

His eyes were nervous. "I need to tell you something."

"Okay." I answered, calm.

"No," he heaved, frustrated. "I need to really tell you something. I need you to not interfere, for the next twenty minutes while I explain." He got up, standing in front of me. "I need you to stay open-minded. I need you to let me explain."

"Okay…?" I was confused, but still trying to stay calm. He sat on his knees, taking my hands.

"I need you to understand." The importance in his tone made me uncomfortable.

"I will."

"You might not."

"Ill try." And I would. I couldn't imagine anything that Jake could say to me that I wouldn't be okay with.

He took a deep breath.

"I love you." He spat.

I looked around; taking in the hours of preparation he must have went through to make my belated birthday special for me. I made him look at his handy work, noticing how his eyes followed where mine led. I escorted his eyes up to the sky, to the pink lights that he clearly planned the whole night around me seeing.

"Obviously," I chuckled. "I love you too."

He shook his head, ripping his hands from mine and dragging them through his hair. I was starting to grow anxious.

"Just listen to me for a second." His eyes scrunched together, making his nose wrinkle.

"Im _in_ love with you," He breathed, finally opening his eyes to see my neck craned back, misunderstanding warped into my face.

"It would be helpful for you to explain the difference." I whispered, my voice quivering a bit. Though I knew what was about to happen.

He took another deep breath, looking me in the eyes.

"I don't know how to say this, but im going to anyways, so just don't talk for a second, okay?"

I nodded, trying to decipher the lock of his jaw. He was about to ruin everything we had, and there was nothing I could do to stop it.

He took my hands again, meshing them onto his lap. I wanted him to stop. Despite what he was about to say, I couldn't stand for anything to change. I wouldn't risk our friendship, it was too important.

"Ness, I have loved you, every second, of every hour, since the day you were born. Since the moment I laid eyes on you, your happiness was essential to my own, and that will never change. So, I want you to know that I wouldn't even be suggesting this unless I was completely sure that it would make you happy, that _I_ could make you happy. All I want if for you to be happy, know that." He huffed, and then continued, making my worst fears come true.

"I want to be with you Ness. I've never wanted anything more in my entire life. You're everything." I held my tongue, foolishly, letting him keep going.

"Your safe with me, in every way conceivable, and I need you to know that now." He shrugged. "You deserve to know that now."

"I want you to let me give you everything I possibly can, in everyway I can. I want you to be able to have all of me, because that's what I want from you. If you'll have me."

I couldn't do anything but stare. His face was strained with apprehension, I could tell that it was taking every ounce of control he had to stay still, considering how visibly nervous he was.

"So…You…Uhm…Like, im you're…I mean you…imprin-"

He cut me off, before my stammer could embarrass me even more.

"Yeah."

The soothing warmth of Jakes fingers suddenly grew clammy. I held my hands to my stomach; which suddenly starting to do back flips.

"Why didn't you tell me before?"

"You only had a few years to be a kid. I didn't want to put any pressure on you for the future. I wanted you to be able to have crushes, and go to dances, have a normal childhood. Not feel obligated to a betrothed." He paused, playing with the rose petals again. This was a new, bashful Jacob. I had never seen him this uncomfortable.

"I hate that im selfish enough to tell you now. I just don't want to wait any more than I have too." His head shot up at that comment, frantic.

"Not that I want you to feel obligated at all to this. This is just me trying to be honest. Im not trying to put any pressure on you, I swear." I had never seen his eyes so shy, his cheeks so crimson. The nervous hammer of his heart was clear, its thump matching the hot pulse behind my ears.

"It's just, your kinda, _it_, for me."

I starred up at the purple haze of the fading lights in the sky, concentrating on its sleek flow, attempting to let the tranquility of its movement calm my rampant thoughts.

I was frustrated at myself for not seeing it coming all along. The signs were all there, practically barking the truth to me through neon figurines.

Of course, growing up, I had entertained the idea of me and Jake together. I had a massive crush on him for the majority of my childhood, but now, it just seemed so irresponsible, immoral almost to risk our friendship for something more. I had to think realistically. Jake and I couldn't be anything more than friends. When physical chemistry starts to mix in with emotions, things always end negatively. Our differences would eventually tear us apart and I honestly would rather die than see that happen.

I was gnawing my lip to a pulp, aware of Jake closely watching my every move. I wanted to look up, to see what expression was pulling at his face now, but was too scared of what I would see. Instead, I kept my eyes on the lights, grateful for their consoling influence.

The other, less disciplined part of my mind was having opposite thoughts. How could I be reluctant to that kind of relationship with Jake? I trusted him with everything I had. From the tips of my toes, to the marrow in my bones, I knew that he would never hurt me. I couldn't image a person I could connect better with. And honestly, it's not like there was anybody else I preferred to him. Jake has always been the major predominate male figure in my life, besides my dad and uncles. Since I could remember he's always been there for me in everyway I knew; besides romantically, of course.

But then again, I had never really experienced a romantic relationship before, but if I were to have that type of connection with anybody, why not Jake?

He was absolutely gorgeous, more attractive than any male models I had ever seen. He was playful and hilarious; he made me laugh harder than anybody else. He was strong and focused, always knowing what he wants and how to get it. I really admired that about him. He was smart, he knew people, he knew the world, and he made the best out of it.

But on top of everything, he was so sweet and sensitive. He treated me like a princess. He always really made an effort to understand me, and help me with whatever I needed.

How could I have the nerve to be in love with anybody else, when perfect Jake was ready and waiting with open arms?

I finally got the nerves to look at him, and of course, he was starring me down with desperate eyes. I knew how hard this must have been for him, and I so wished that I could drain all the doubt from his mind.

I tried to smirk, but couldn't. My face was frozen with hesitation.

I slowly rose to my knees ,and closer to Jacob.

I draped my arms over his neck, before pressing my forehead against his.

His breath was coming through in nervous gasps, mine matching. The heat was calming, my skin tingling against his. He wrapped his arms around my waist, holding me tighter against himself. This embrace was different than all the others, laced with a different type of emotion.

I knew I needed to try for Jacob, despite my uncertainty. He deserved it.

Our eyes bore into one another's, unsure of what to do next. I was just about to pull away, when I felt Jakes scorching lips against mine.

I couldn't do it.

I wouldn't do it.

The kiss was fast and chaste, but it was enough for all of my reasoning to drain from my mind. All I understood after Jake kissed me, was that it felt utterly, and entirely wrong.

Jacob could never be anything more than a friend to me, and I hated it. How could I be in _love_ with my brother? How could I _kiss_ my family? I didn't see him that way, and that was that.

I spilled out of his arms, falling back into my quilt, tears now streaming uncontrollably. I buried my scarlet face in my hands, to ashamed to have Jacob see his own rejection pouring out my eyes.

"Jake…Im so sorry." I bawled, barley able to formulate coherent words through my sobs. "Im so fucking… sorry," I covered my head with the quilt, ashamed. "I cant, I just…I don't know why…its too late for that…its not supposed to be like this…Im so sorry…I wish…I wish I could." I took a few deep breaths, trying to stop the wails shaking through my chest. I looked back up to him, after regaining a little bit of composure, and my heart absolutely broke in half.

A slight quiver against his jaw was the only movement on his stone face. His eyes were zoned out, silent tears streaming from them, cascading wet trails down his cheeks, over frozen lips. He closed his eyes before speaking, obviously trying to remain in control. I would have given anything to have taken the pain away from him, but I also knew that I couldn't.

"Its alright. I shouldn't have said anything." His voice shook, the ache he hid beneath it could have knocked the earth off its axis.

"Please, please don't be mad at me. I couldn't stand to have you mad at me." I sat back up.

He exhaled, sarcastic, fiercely wiping away his tears, embarrassed. "Like I could be mad at you,"

"I love you Jacob. I love you so much."

"I love you more."

I kneeled back on my knees, going to give Jake a hug, when I was stopped by the last thing I would have expected.

Growth.

The universe and everything connected with it faded around me, washing out into invisible pixels of white.

Before I even realized it was happening, all I knew was pain. It bombarded every nerve in my body with strength, pulling apart every cell, expanding every molecule.

I felt my bones grow longer inside of me, growing wider with each passing second, pushing against my muscles, that hadn't yet caught up to their development, but they soon followed, inflaming my innards until everything inside of me was swollen.

I wailed while my skin expanded around my vastly maturing entrails, frantically broadening to hold everything inside of me.

The only thing outside of the pain was my blood-curling screams; they were uncontainable, shooting absently-mindedly from my tense lips, increasing in volume whenever another part of me stretched to its limit.

I vomited from the pain of my hair being pull from my scalp; my nails getting yanked from their cuticles, blood surrounding their new outline.

The fire tormenting my veins was unbearable; the screeching coming from my elastic vocal cords was earth-shattering, the only way I knew how to cope with the stretch of my legs, the throb in my eardrums.

My world went black, as unconsciousness finally, thankfully, claimed me.

**AuthorsNote: Just so you know, I hated having to make Jake cry **

**Im already started on the next chapter, so hopefully I will have it out soon.**

**REVEEEIW!**


	13. Chapter 11

Chapter11

(Jacob)

"I love you more," I replied. My heart was hanging on by a thread, an agonizing sting accompany to its every beat.

Rejection never hurt so badly.

Pain, embarrassment, regret, and humiliation were only a few of the emotions that forced my chest to swell and compelled my eyes to water. My vision was blurred, whether from boiling tears or pure disappointment I had no idea.

Still, above all, the one emotion underlying my every breath was relentless love, infinite adoration.

The urge to change was unyielding. My instincts ticked in every crook of my body, begging for an essential release. I clenched to my self control, squeezing it with everything I had.

I couldn't panic her by changing; she would never forgive herself if she knew that she caused me that type of pain. It takes a lot to faze me, and her denial was the worst daunt I had ever experienced.

I never imagined what it would feel like to actually have your heart broken in a matter of a few seconds, because that's all it took.

And then I heard it, her illusory, desperate scream.

I knew that scream.

Time came to an abrupt halt.

Her final growth.

Everything after that started happening so fast. Seconds were split in half while I scooped her into my arms.

Her howls left no room in the world for me to be attentive to anything besides her. Gravity directed all of its force to the writhing, wailing girl in my arms. Nothing else mattered.

I hugged her closer to me and sprinted off of the roof into the forest, not knowing what else to do. Each of her shrieks torturing me mercilessly. I tried to block out the intensity of them, but they were impossible to ignore. I flinched while she gnawed my shoulder.

The deep gash healed before she had a chance to tear open the flesh next to it. I overlooked her projectile vomit, saturating the both of us now.

It didn't matter. Not while she was suffering.

I called Edward as I ran, cursing his name when it went through to his robotic answering machine.

I called Bella. No Answer.

I called Carlisle. No Answer.

I called Alice. No Answer.

Jasper, Emmet, Seth, and then finally resorted to Blondie.

No Answer.

I didn't want to have to worry Esme. But I ended up calling her anyways when the others didn't answer, only to be slapped in the face with another automated voicemail.

My frustrated scream reached volumes I hadn't thought possible, while I sped through the maze of trees.

I lost control, and exploded into my ball of fur, not even caring what form I was in anymore. I doubted that she would notice anyways.

I ran her to the damp of the meadow.

I knew how much it calmed her down. Maybe subconsciously she would perceive the change in surroundings over the inferno I knew was surely turning her inside out. Maybe she would subliminally calm down?

I used my now shredded shirt to clean the regurgitation off of her snapping mouth.

She struggled with everything she had to get out of my arms, twisting and turning ferociously with every stride I took. She was animalistic; a slave to the pain.

I set her down in the wet grass, uncontrollable.

I wish I would have had at least a few answers for the thousands of questions circling my head, invading all other space.

How do I calm her down?

How can I make the pain go away?

How long is this going to last?

Should I be taking any precautions?

Terror took over while I starred at her, helpless. Helplessness was the worst feeling, being powerless. I wasn't able to make the pain go away, pain that she didn't even need to be going through. She couldn't help what she was.

Another howl penetrated my already raw throat at the sight of her whipping body, eyes rolled back into her head, the silver of the venom streaming out of her mouth.

Turning away from her, unable to look, unable to do anything to stop what was happening, I kept one wiggling hand in both of my paws.

This pain was obviously far worse than anything she had ever endured before.

I thought back to her first real growth, hating myself more with each passing second I sat, immobilized.

***

Edward and Bella barged into the main house; a howling and thrashing monster bundled under blankets in their arms. They were racing, panicked, their words coming out too fast for me to understand.

Instinctively, I was worried.

"Bella! What is that?" I asked Bella, standing to get her attention, I directed my eyes to the bundle of evil in her arms.

It was wild; whipping back and forth, screaming, crying.

There was something demented about something so small making such a commotion.

I wanted to know what was happening.

"Bella!" I called. She sprinted past me, a blur of speed, not even aware of my presence.

"Edward?" I called again, now trying to distract Edward from whatever he was doing in the kitchen to make so much noise.

Carlisle soon joined the frenzy, setting up different machines in the living room while Bella unmasked the stranger in her arms.

I was more petrified than anybody in the room at that moment, the earth could have slid off its axis and I wouldn't have known the difference.

The monster fighting out of a cocoon of blankets was my 4 month old ball of beautiful. White foam was swallowing her screams while she flopped like a wild shark at warped speed.

My little Loch Ness.

I ran to Edward, our faces both a mix of the same type of helpless concern.

"WHAT IS HAPPENING TO HER?!"

I hadn't meant to yell, but before I could process the words, they were already in the form of rushed screams. I had no control over this fear.

He scowled and turned away from me. I wouldn't have that, not when the purpose of my existence was foaming at the mouth.

My flesh tore into wild bushels of hair while I cornered Edward against the wall, viscously growling at him, my now black lips pulling against snapping teeth.

Renesmee's cries took over the background.

Edward pushed against me, snapping the couch in half in the process. I sprang back up, snarling. Before we had time to think about it, we were rolling around the living room, attempting to calm down the other with painful bites and pointless punches.

My teeth just barley began to penetrate the granite of his skin when I felt Carlisle pinning my ravenous body up against the fireplace.

Bella's scream brought me back to reality.

"THAT'S FUCKING ENOUGH!"

Her voice shattered every piece of glass in the room, knocking the TV on the wall to the floor with a bang. Her strong, small arms holding Edward back. His black eyes bore into mine from across the room.

"SHES GROWING JACOB! WE DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS!" The mirror in the bathroom fell victim.

I quivered out of Carlisle's arms, and ran to the couch. Sitting, staring, nothing in my eyes but grief, at the little angel on the couch, turning blue with her screams.

"What do you mean?! She's always growing!" I shouted back at a raging Bella. Her façade broke, and she collapsed to the floor, shaking with dry sobs.

"I don't know, Jacob. I have never been more scared in my life. I don't know what to do for her." She buried her head in her hands. "I am her mother, and I don't know how to help her."

Of course, Edward was at her side within milliseconds of her crying.

His inattentiveness to Renesmee was not helping me get back to my regular form. Bella is a grown woman crying like every other mother would. Yet, a wailing baby is ripping open the floors with torture.

I wanted to throw him against another wall.

I turned to Carlisle, annoyed.

"What do we do?"

He sat kneeled next to me in front of Nessie, cupping her tiny head in his massive hands, attempting to massage the temples on her head, whipping in every direction.

"There's nothing we _can_ do. This is the first of many natural processes she will go through to control her rapid growth. It's her body's way of getting in check. Like a menstrual cycle."

"How long," I called over the screaming.

"Each growth could last maybe from a few hours to a few days, depending on her body's equilibrium. They are going to happen at least twice a month, for 7 years."

I tried to take her in my arms, maybe cradle her into a more of a comfort zone. She wiggled away from me as fast as she could, and went back to bite into the couch.

"She's trying to protect you. She doesn't want us here to see her this way." Edward whispered, still holding Bella.

"Im not leaving," I stated, harsh, not taking my eyes from my angel. "I don't care what she wants."

"I know." He replied, carrying Bella upstairs.

This time, I wasn't upset. I wouldn't want to see this either if there was nothing I could do about it. The feeling of complete helplessness was the worst part.

I wanted to leave, but couldn't bring myself to.

There was nowhere else to go.

***

Nessie fell unconscious and thankfully, so did her screams. I cradled her to my side, trying to ease her constant twitches with my warmth.

We laid there for hours, in the grass, under the stars. She would occasionally shudder, and I would have a panic attack at every move or grunt or cry she would make.

The pack had already come to check on us and fortunately brought me a change of clothes.

I told them to leave; I needed to be alone with her.

When her screams finally stopped, I was able to calm myself down into my human form, witch I was appreciative for. It made it easier to be with her.

I didn't care how pathetic it was, but when I had her with me in the middle of this meadow, the stars my only light, I was _happy_. Despite the fact she didn't want me; I still wanted her, in any way, shape, or form. This was enough for me, and I hated it.

I have invested my entire life into a girl that doesn't want me. I had basically wasted my time into a relationship that would never happen for me. I should have been upset, but of course, I couldn't be. Not when she was so vulnerable like this. Not when I could feel the rise and fall of her breath. Not when I could count the light freckles scattering her nose.

When I had her in my arms; when I saw her smile; even when I saw her cry; it wasn't even remotely close to a waste of time.

I've said it before, and ill say it forever; she's everything.

_She doesn't want you. _

_She doesn't want you. _

_She doesn't want you. _

I would make it okay.

I could just keep building on the brotherly relationship if I had to. Everything would just stay the same. We could still be as close as we always were.

What would be the sacrifice?

Love? No.

Sex? Yes.

Family? No.

Kids? Yes.

How much would I be willing to sacrifice?

_It isn't even my choice. _

Even if she didn't want me, it's not as if I could just run to the next girl I see, or any girl I see. She could run to whoever she wanted.

Subconsciously, I held her closer.

***

I opened my eyes and mercifully, the flames had been extinguished. The sun was just peeking over the horizon while I stood.

The first thing I noticed was my hair. It had grown into rivers over my hips, down my thighs. I groaned when I saw how long my fingernails had gotten, they were bitches to trim. My legs and armpits were embarrassingly furry, a very uncomfortable type of furry. Hopeful, I glanced down my shirt. I chuckled, proud of my new-fangled "lady lumps."

I heard a deep guffaw to my left, and turned to a happy Jacob.

Everything came rushing back; an awkward silence followed my revelation.

I broke the tension before it had enough time to build. I was absolutely desperate not to ruin this moment with him; it would set the basis of our friendship for the rest of our lives.

"How long was I out?"

"Only 4 hours actually," he said, hands in his pockets.

"Not too shabby."

"I would say so."

I wondered if it was as uncomfortable for him as it was for me. I felt like running and hiding in the first hole I saw. I could feel the blush covering my entire body, there was no possible way he didn't see it.

"So, I kinda reek." I began, walking towards the woods in a hurry, my words a jumble. "And im all hairy, and I need to clip my nails and brush my teeth. And I think im just gonna head home. You know, and you can like…just go home and ill go to my house, alone. And you can go to your house, alone." His face was lit with sarcasm, he sensed my nerves. Fuck. "So yeah, thanks for tonight, thanks for staying with me and stuff. Love you."

My throat was dry, my eyes were wet, my knees were wobbly, my stomach was stuffed with balloons, and I was self-conscious of my thick breath. I felt bad for being so short with him, but I needed to get home before I threw up. Again. Oh god, I threw up on him during my change, didn't I? Ugh, that's probably why he's in different clothes. Oh my god. I needed to get home.

"Ness-"

I took off running before I could hear the end of his sentence. I couldn't even handle to hear him talk, the embarrassment was that bad.

Finally, I was home.

I hurdled myself straight into my shower, not holding back with my abundance of assorted shampoos, body washes, and exfoliating soaps. I shaved over my entire body, cut every nail, mid-exfoliation, and even went to the lengths of brushing my teeth at 5 minutes intervals. I felt that gross.

I toweled myself dry, and brushed through my immeasurable strands of hair before pulling it into a messy bun on the top of my head. I would wait for Alice to come home and cut it; she would crucify me if I did it I myself. I slipped into a pair of shorts and my favorite of Moms battered t-shirts.

Throughout my entire post-growth cleansing process, I did everything possible to stop myself from thinking of Jacob.

I was physically and emotionally worn-out.

Nothing would stop me from curling up in my bed and going to sleep…Besides the one thing that could stop me from curling into my bed and going to sleep; Jacob, sitting in front of my bedroom door.

I internally groaned.

"I refuse to accept your friendship." He said. His eyes were bold, relentless.

"I suppose your about to explain to me what you mean by that."

I was too tired for any of this. I just needed to go to bed; my mood was bitchy enough without Jake being confrontational.

"You and I both know that there is no way we can be just friends. There is more, so just get over it."

I groaned out loud this time.

I marched forward and pinned him against the door, surprised by my new-found strength when the door creaked under the pressure.

My lips found his. His warmth was fast and eager against my cool, relaxed rhythm. I pulled away, indifferent.

"Nothing," I said, shaking my head, frustrated. Every type of exhaustion was beginning to make my eye-lids heavy.

Jake opened my door before throwing me over his shoulder and carrying me to my bed. He laid me down more gently than he picked me up. I crawled under the covers, relief laced within the familiar silk. Jacob sat beside me, his hands burning the scarlet of my cheeks. I didn't even want to look to see the emotion that I knew was blazing in his eyes, so I kept mine closed, also not wanting him to read the wrong way into whatever was in mine.

At this point I was so unsure.

This time, his lips brushed mine with a respectful type of patience. His tongue traced my bottom lip with fortitude, a type of resilience that I admired. He knew what he wanted, and that above anything, was the most reassuring thing about the entire situation.

I skeptically opened my mouth, new to this entire kissing ritual. I knew what came next, but was still nervous to see what it would be like.

His breath was hot inside my mouth; the feeling went straight to my stomach. Butterflies escaped the deadlocked cage inside of me, and I wilted against the sheets, pulling Jake with me.

I smiled against him while our tongues danced in synchronization.

He rolled and pulled my body on top of his. I felt every rigid curve of his sculpted physique, and I adored every single chisel.

The fire coursing through me was, indescribable.

Wow. Lust.

I _was_ his. He had changed my life with one slip of the tongue. I giggled, and honestly, it was out of pure bliss.

Why hadn't this happened earlier?

He pulled back, his face smug.

"I told you." He whispered, kissing my nose.

Internally, my diabolical wheels started turning, thinking of dozens of different ways I could twist and turn this situation to make it a hilarious embarrassment on his part.

I could bluff, and claim the kiss meant nothing, claim that my innards weren't an inferno of awkward teenage desire. He would walk out, and I would go after him tomorrow, after he stayed up all night thinking of how that kiss wasn't perfection, turning his little head upside-down to find the reasoning to my rejection, only to find that it was all a front.

But I was too tired, and instead of weaving a whole other kind of web, I just cuddled to his side, pulling the blanket over us while he kicked off his shoes.

"You were right." I yawned, placing a kiss on his chest.

Why was this all happening so fast?

It didn't seem right.

I feel asleep trying to remember a time when I felt this happy, even though I had always been happy. I feel asleep trying to piece together why I felt so complete, even though I had never been broken. I feel asleep next to my only love, trying to understand why it was fair for me to be so blessed.

Fate would get even with me sooner or later.

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;)

**AuthorsNote: Suuuup. I really hope you liked it (: Sorry it was kinda predictable. I would have loved to have been cooler and fucked everything up, but than the whole story would be ruined.**

**& plus, they need to be together.**

**I would be challenging mother nature if I denied that.**

**& she seems like a fickle bitch so, fuck that.**

**Ya, im going to bed.**

**REVIEW!**


	14. Chapter 12

Chapter12

(Edward)

"Is there anything we can do?" I pleaded with him, just wanting to see if he was responsive in anyway. He face was still relentlessly blank, absolutely vacant of any type of emotion.

I turned to my love, searching for any type of reassurance that this wasn't completely my fault.

"Edward, just let him be."

We whispered below the low hum of the plane, trying our hardest to be discrete aboard an aircraft packed with unsuspecting humans.

It was times like these when we needed a private jet.

"I don't know how to help. Is he okay to just go home? How is he even sitting on this place right now? Why isn't he bloodthirsty? What are we supposed to tell the pack? Why would he do this to himself?"

"You act as if I have the slightest idea of what is going on. I am just as clueless as you."

"This is my fault." I groaned.

Hearing her chuckle, I didn't even need to turn to see the expression on her face. I knew that laugh; she was mocking me.

"Right, cause everything is always your fault, isn't it? It wasn't just that all of us were tricked, no way. It was that Edward was careless enough to leave Seth in the hands of revenge hungry, flesh-tearing, rampant, purebred werewolves. Nope, it's all your fault Edward, like it always is. Because it wasn't _our_ responsibility to make sure everybody was accounted for, it was _yours_."

"That's not what I meant, but thanks for your sarcasm, wife. It's really appreciated."

"Ugh, than what did you mean? How in any way, shape or form is this only _your_ burden?" Her whispers were haste; I could sense the aggravated tone in her voice.

"Because, I can read minds Bella, I should have paid more attention. I should have been able to know what they were trying to do to him. I should have predicted it before it happened, now Seth has to pay the price for my stupidity."

"That's enough." She spat, blunt.

I finally turned to face her, and felt even more disappointed in myself; the etch of annoyance in her brow was there because of me.

"I have just about had it with having to repeat myself constantly about how annoyed I am with you blaming yourself for every little thing that goes wrong. It's getting really old, really fast, and I refuse to deal with it for the rest of my life. How many times do I have to beg you to stop?"

The heaven of her hands held mine.

"What happened to Seth isn't anymore our fault than it was yours. We were fooled by a pack of wolves apparently smarter than us. We should feel stupid, not guilty."  
I refused to accept that; if we were more alert, we wouldn't have been tricked.

I let my head fall against the seat, and analyzed the scenario that has been playing over and over in my head since the moment it happened.

***

We hurdled over the descending rock wall while it slowly slunk back into the ground.

It had been 7 hours since we had left Seth to fend for himself within the confines of the wolves' prison, and we were more than eager to see what had become of our mistake.

They were expecting us.

Seth was waiting on the rocks, Kane standing behind him, the wild waves of the sea crashing in every direction.

The closer I got to Seth, the more I knew that something was seriously wrong.

The first thing I noticed; Seth was bald.

His usually happy face was washed out. His eyes were depressing, starring down at his feet. He looked small and weak; I could have broken him in half without breaking a sweat. Mindless grunts filled his subconscious, his thoughts so diminutive; they were hardly thoughts at all. Instead of the jolly, carefree waves that normally radiated off of Seth were absolutely gone. There was nothing to him now. He was an empty hollow shell of a man.

This wasn't Seth; this was a werewolf.

"Ay, mates. You couldn't be more on time," Kane grumbled. His tone made me skeptical, his thoughts made me nervous. They were like white noise to me, completely and totally blocked.

I ignored his comment, turning to the dormant giant sitting in front of him.

"Seth, are you alright? I don't even know what to say,"

He didn't acknowledge us at all; his eyes stare inertly to the earth.

"Seth is more than alright Mr. Cullen, he's just a little down at the moment," Kane clapped his hand down to Seth's rigid shoulder. Despite the strength Kane put into the gesture, Seth seemed to not feel it, his body didn't move from the force.

"What happened to him?" Carlisle asked, appearing absolutely calm. I knew otherwise.

A thick Irish accent answered him with more craze than before.

"Well, to answer that question, I should probably first explain why." Kane stepped from behind Seth and sat settled himself on the boulder, inviting us to join him.

"For the last 50 years as a community, we have been building our own fleet of solders. We are tired of being 2nd to the Volturi, and we intend to fight for our freedom the minute God's good graces will send us our sign to attack."

The determination in Kane's eyes had Jasper on the edge of his seat.

"We have decided that Seth and others like him, his pack, are meant to fight alongside us for their due liberties."

"Seth has nothing to do with your vendetta against the Volturi; they haven't shown any type of resentment toward his kind." Carlisle interjected. Kane chuckled at the thought.

"Seth is _our _kind mate. He descends from a long line of purebreds; it just so happened that during conception, his kind never full acquired the dominant trait of his ancestors before him. His kin wasn't demeaned by the Volturi throughout their existence. He has a right to fight for them, dominant and recessive traits have absolutely nothing to do with reprisal. Seth was born to fight and win this war, for his father's father, and the father before that."

Kane's speech was obviously one he gave often.

My loves voice calmed the hundreds of questions coursing through me.

"Seth, when did you decide this?"

He didn't answer, of course. He didn't even look her in the eye.

"Yesterday, obviously. While my lovely wife and I were sidetracking your fleet, we were initiating Seth into ours!" His baled hands feel on Seth's stone shoulder again, a fiery pride burning in his eyes.

I couldn't put my finger on why I suddenly wanted to hurdle this man into the tide.

"Sidetracking?" Alice chimed.

"Evidently, your kin has a higher threshold for processing information." He chuckled a little before continuing on. He was much jollier today than I remembered him being yesterday, his personality was more buoyant. "In order for your family to forget Seth at the end of the day, we made sure to overload your thought process with enough new information for you to be distracted enough to leave Seth with us for the night. Ha, I love that little trick! Yeah, you guys were a real challenge, especially with your little mind reader over there. But, it's all mathematical, don't feel tricked, nobody has the power to overcome a good sidetrack, no matter how old you are."

The monstrous alien looked to me, sarcasm dripping off his every word.

For the first time in 107 years, I felt stupid.

"Seth has decided to go home for awhile before actually joining our fleet up here. Im sure he's got some good-byes to say, and some things to get together. Hopefully he will have some recruits when he comes back home. Eh, Seth?"

We all looked to his lifeless eyes, they didn't respond.

It was apparent that Kane wasn't worried about Seth. He had seen this before.

"He will be melancholy for awhile, until his symmetry gets straightened out. The chemicals take awhile to settle, it's a big change, a fast change. It won't be easy. The depression is always the hardest part of being bitten, it's inevitable. He'll perk right up though, soon enough."

Everything seemed surreal, what were we supposed to think. We couldn't even assume that this was really something that Seth had wanted; he surely wasn't speaking for himself. He looked like he had just spent the night being tortured. And for all we knew, he had been. We didn't know these people; we didn't know what they wanted with Seth. All we could do was follow the instructions given to us by complete strangers and try and help Seth as much as we could.

For the first time in 107 year, I felt helpless.

"He can be around people during the day, no problem. It's when the sun is set that he is going to transform. Then, he cannot be around humans, under any circumstances."

Kane clapped Seth again on the back before turning around and walking back down the boulder we stood on.

He called over his shoulder before descending into the valley.

"Please bring him back in one piece mates, we need this one."

A very uncomfortable silence hung in the air while we swam back to shore.

For the first time in 107 years, I felt confused.

***

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	15. Chapter 13

**AuthorsNote: Elllo friends and neighbors. Tap o' da mornin' to ya. Sorrry if ive been a little held up. I've beeen sort of obsessed with other things lately.**

**THE STAND**

**BY:STEPHEN KING**

**1114 pages of raw, unbridled perfection. **

**Read it, worship it. I know I did. **

**Bwahaha. **

**Anywhooooo, enjoy the chapter. **

**Reviews are still just as lovely as they always have been. **

**Thanks for all the support!!! **

**Seee ya at the botttem.**

Chapter13

(Renesmee)

I sifted through the channels, groaning at my luck. It was 4 in the after noon, and after a monotonously dull day at school, all I wanted was some pointless, relaxing daytime television.

I grimaced while I finally decided on an old re-run of American Idol.

Jasper came sliding down the stair railing minutes later, jumping over the couch and pulling me to his side.

"Hey kid. Watcha watching?"

His face fell when he looked to the TV.

"Ugh, Nessie." He chuckled, pushing me away from him. "Your not one of _tho_s_e _are you?"

"One of whose?"

"Of all of the gazillions of things you could be watching, you decided to burn your brain cells watching Ryan Seacrest burn through his note cards with scripted homophobic puns? You figured it would be fun to chuckle at Simon Cowel's fake petulant arrogance? "

I chuckled. "There was nothing else on!"

"Renesmee. We have thousands of channels to choose from. We own almost every single DVD and VHS tape ever released. We have a projector in the basement, fully equipped with a stockpile of movie reels dating back to 1951. Yet, you decide to watch _American Idol_? I would rather you smoke the crack pipe with Paula Abdul than be stupid enough to watch her drone on and on about her one-hit wonder once upon a time."

"You're so dramatic."

"Turn it off! I can feel my IQ dropping!"

"No."

"Give me the remote."

"No."

But of course, Jasper and his powers of persuasion had me suddenly wanting to hand him the remote.

"If you're going to watch TV at all, which you shouldn't, you could at least have the decency to watch something with a little substance."

He clicked through the channels, going so fast the tiny script on the screen was a blur. He landed on an onDemand channel, an onDemand channel dedicated to documentaries.

Ugh, documentaries.

"Jasper! No! I want some easy, thoughtless entertainment. Turn on Springer or something. I would love to see the re-run of that one episode where the midget runs around the stage." I giggled as I lifted my hand to his cheek, remembering for the both of us the little midget flinging himself from on part of the set to the other on his arms. I laughed even harder while I remembered how the guards didn't even bother to catch him, probably because he was weaving in between them like a toy car.

Jasper was starring at me, wide-eyed, by time I had pulled away.

"What has mankind come to? Are we that easily distracted, that we find something that redundant…entertaining? Are we truthfully that ignorant?"

"You're crossing the line."

"Do you ever wonder if in 100,000 years, the pilgrims of a new age will come and forage our old houses, to find that there was at least one of these boxes called televisions in each home. What would they say when they find out that we would sit and stare at the box for hours upon hours a day? They would have to assume that the box was some sort of mystical, communal Holy Grail. Why else would a living, breathing human being sit and drool in front of flashing lights for that much of an extended period of time? And why did man feel that they needed to have more than one of these boxes in each house? Is that really what we want our future historians to think of us; our only legacy being a box?"

"The line is a dot to you."

Jasper smiled, obviously please with himself.

We both turned around when we heard the front door open.

Jasper and I nearly doubled over with what we saw.

Emmet came waltzing into the house, a smile on his face and a spring in his step. His gold tinted jeans rode the very outer limit of his ass, exposing most of the back of his gold and black striped boxers that he hung as low as he possibly could. Above his boxers, his baggy black and gold layered t-shirts rested below a single gold chain hanging from his neck. His jeans were haphazardly tucked behind the massive lip of his golden sneakers. Of course, his attire would have never been complete if I weren't for the way his black hat slanted on top of his head. The definite cherry on top was the single studded earring in his left ear.

"Sup Cracka." I said; a ghetto tone laced my greeting, visibly soiling it for Emmet. Jaspers chuckles rang in the background.

"You don't like it?" Emmet's head hung low as he tossed his hat onto the couch.

I replied before Jasper had the chance too.

"No! I love it! All you need is some afro-sheen; a few gold bracelets and you're fully equipped to run this bitch."

I laughed with Jasper for a few minutes before even attempting to settle myself down.

"Ugh! I just wanted a change!" Emmet growled while he walked to the sofa.

"Emmet, brother, your swag is a tad disproportionate. Try to lean with it."

It took me everything I had to try and tame the tickle that was itching the back of my throat.

"Im so sick of this! Im sick of Edward and his v-neck t-shirts; im sick of you and your damned sweater vests! I want my own thing! I wanted to be unique!"

"So you thought that raiding Baby Phat for ganstas' would be the solution?" Jasper answered.

The tickle in my throat won and my giggles burst in bubbles, up from the pits of my stomach.

"Shut up. I'm going to change."

"Great idea." I heaved through chuckles.

This was shaping up to be a pretty great day.

***

I sprinted up the steep incline of the mountain at lethal speed, the trees blurring alongside me, the dead leaves sheeting the ground flew according to my current.

I had another 3 miles of mountain to climb before I got to the cave.

I was going to visit Seth.

It had been 8 months since he had changed, and things were not looking good.

Seth refused to live at home when he came back; he refused to be around anybody. He insisted on living in the mountains, away from everybody or anything that he could hurt during his changes. I didn't even have to use both hands to count the times I have heard him speak in the last 8 months, and since he wasn't apart of our pack physically anymore, I couldn't hear his thoughts at night when he changed.

Sam and I take turns to run up here at least 4 times a week to check in on him. He won't let anybody else within a 50 foot radius. He wouldn't even see Leah. It was a big unnecessary mess, and as the year wore on, there had been no change.

Nobody knew when Seth was planning on returning to his new "fleet." He wouldn't talk about it. So every time I run up here to see him, in the back of my head I had to be prepared for his cave to be empty. We have all been holding our breath for long enough, and it was time for a change. Today, I was going to try my best to talk him out of whatever hole he has fallen into. Even though I try that every week, and I only seem to be able to dig him deeper and deeper.

It was times like these, running up this mountain, taking the same route I have taken so many times before, that I start to feel guilty for being so happy when Seth was so miserable.

Me and Ness finally being together is the best thing that has ever happened to me. She had sewn my entire life together in the past few months. Even talking about it made a subconscious smile stretch across my face, it made my eyes light up with thoughts of her perfection.

If I could bottle my happiness and make that lonely wolf drink it, there would be no stopping him. He would be bouncing off the walls.

The cave was silent when I arrived, looking hidden inside its mountain by the countless trees that blocked its entrance. I peeked inside the cavern, grimacing when I smelt the moist and rotten leaves on the floor. The stone walls were even more blanketed with ivy than the last time I had been here. I could hear the desolate drip of the moisture inside.

That sound always made my hair stand erect.

"Seth." I called, my voice echoing off the granite walls.

I heard the crackle of a fire and walked inside.

Seth sat, chin on his knees in front of his fire. He was cooking a rabbit, using two twigs as a rotisserie, the flames his only light.

I said, in my most optimistic voice: "Hey bud, how you doing?"

I didn't expect a reply, so I went on.

"That rabbit sure looks succulent, I see your culinary skills are at the top of their game, eh?"

He nodded, flipping his rabbit over the glowing coals.

I tried my hardest to continue with light conversation like I have every time I visit Seth.

But it was always hopeless.

"So, Leah met some guy. They really hit it off. I don't think he's her imprint, but she's convinced."

I chuckled, remembered the first time I met Leah's object of affection. He was a definite ass, completely and totally in love with himself.

So naturally, he and Leah got along perfectly.

"His name is Vince. But he likes to be called Terry."

No answer.

"That just doesn't seem right to me. He is kinda clumsy, and really awkward. But he treats Leah like a queen, so I guess that's what counts. She's really happy."

No answer.

"Nessie says hi. She can't wait to see you. She wanted to come with me here today, but I didn't think it would be a good idea. Considering you haven't so much as looked at me in 7 weeks."

He lifted his lifeless eyes to mine briefly under heavy lids, as if to disprove my point.

I was done with the pleasantries. I decided to dive right into doing what I came here to do.

Get. Seth. Home.

My plea wasn't very unique, but it was short, sweet, and to the point.

"Seth. Come home."

No answer.

"I hate coming up here every week to talk to your walls. Whatever is the matter, we can all work it out. We just want to help you. I know the change must be hard, but nothing is worse than this isolation Seth. You're a clam up here. You haven't done anything wrong; nobody blames you for wanting to help where your help was asked for. We understand, we understand it all, but until you have to go back, why would want to sit up here and waste time when you could be spending it with the people that are going to have to miss you even more when you have to go back to Finland?"

He let out a short, sarcastic sigh. It was enough to turn my sympathy into aggravation.

"Ugh, Seth. Im sorry about whatever you're so depressed about, and I know you can't help it. But honestly, the least you could do is talk to me."

No answer.

"Everybody has been worried sick. Your mother has been crying non-stop since she found out. Edward is a wreck with guilt. Carlisle refuses to do anything else but study to try and find a cure for your imbalance. Embry hasn't laughed in weeks. You're making everybody miserable. I can't even feel sorry for you anymore. You have to get over it. "

He pulled the rabbit off his skewer and began to pull it apart, still ignoring my presence.

I got up, too frustrated to stay.

I've tried to be compassionate; I've tried to be understanding. But there was only so much I could handle. He was affection other people with this now, and that wasn't okay.

I looked at him before I turned to leave.

"You know Seth, this was your _choice_. Don't you think you owe it to yourself and everybody else to at least try and make the most out of it? _You_ wanted this."

I stormed to the exit, irritated.

A tiny, shaken voice stopped me dead in my tracks.

"You…you think I _wanted_ this?"

I turned around, wide-eyed when I heard him speak. It had been the first time in 3 months.

"Didn't you?"

"You think I _wanted_ to be detached from my friends, from my brothers? You think I _wanted_ to hate myself every minute of every day for the things that the fucking moon _makes_ me do? You think I wanted to alter my life for a group of heathens?"

His fists were clenched; he was speaking through his teeth. I could see his body begin to tremble as he went on. His whisper became an angry shout, his eyes shrunk to tiny slits as we went on.

"You think that I _enjoy_ sitting in this fucking cave? You think I sit up here for any other reason other than to hold myself back from tearing apart the first person I see?"

He kicked a pile of wood, splintering each log. His face was scarlet, his chest was heaving.

I took a step back.

"YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE AN IDEA OF WHAT THIS IS LIKE! YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT I GO THROUGH EVERY TIME THAT FUCKING SUN GOES DOWN, JACOB! I'M A SLAVE TO THE MOON! AND YOU THINK I LIKE IT THAT WAY!? YOU DON'T KNOW."

His voice had risen to volumes I had never thought imaginable. The rocks above us quaked.

Before I knew it, I was pinned against the wet cave wall beneath Seth's tremulous strength. My back dug into the rigid stone, and I could feel the warm trickle of blood stain my shirt.

I didn't dare challenge him. This was what he needed, some wholesome venting. I didn't care how girly that sounded.

His face was an inch from mine. His eyes were on fire. Thankfully, his voice lowered to a whisper.

"I didn't want _any_ of this."

He slowly let me down, untangling his hands from my now torn, wrinkled shirt.

His eyes were wide while he took his original seat.

This wasn't a Seth; this wasn't a wolf.

This was a schizophrenic.

"What happened to you over there?" I replied, loosing my confidence in the stability of my own vocal cords.

The way he stared at me absolutely broke my heart. My brother, my best friend, the guy that stood by me when nobody else would, his eyes were pleading, confused, powerless.

His watering eyes scrunched together.

"I…I don't even remember, Jake. All I remember is sitting in a room with these men. Next thing I know, I wake up in the middle of some tent in the dark, bleeding from the bite marks all over me."

I was speechless. His tears were unstoppable. His voice was broken while he spoke. Yet, while he was letting out his emotions, he was still trying to contain himself.

"I…saw…things. Things I wish I never had to see." He punched the wall, permanently splintering its edges.

I walked over to his shuddering body, pressed against the wall, trying to hide his vulnerability. He shook me away when I tried to comfort him.

"Why didn't you say anything?"

"I couldn't. They were right. I owe them."

"You don't owe them anything."

"We both do, Jacob. The entire pack does. It was their obligation to change me, no matter how it happened. I don't blame them. I just hate the side-affects. Just because they do things differently, doesn't mean they aren't right. The whole fleet went through this."

"Fuck the fleet, I need to tell Carlisle, we aren't just going to stand by and let this happen."

He turned around. His tears stopped.

"It's already happened, Jake."

"I refuse to accept that. They don't get to do this to you. We'll fight; I can get Emmet and the pack in on it."

He chuckled, shaking his head.

What could there possibly be to laugh at?

"They would rip you guys to shreds. It wouldn't even be a competition. You haven't seen how strong we are."

"Don't even say 'we'. You aren't one of them."

"I am, and im going back."

I didn't mean to scream when I replied…but that's just how it came out.

"What! They practically date raped you, and you want to go back there! THEY CHANGED YOU AGAINST YOUR WILL, AND YOU WANT TO GO FUCKING BACK! NO! NO! NO! You have been sitting in this cave for 8 months, miserable, and you don't blame them?!"

"It's not about them anymore. It's the cause, it's my ancestors. It's practically my civic duty to help them fight. I can't stand by and watch this happen."

"You're brainwashed."

"Maybe."

"This is a cult."

"Maybe."

We stared at each other for a long time after that. God only knew how long. His face was now steady, his eyes were calm.

In that moment, there was no changing his mind.

"Come back with me."

My brain barley even registered the question it was so ridiculous.

"Im not going anywhere and neither are you."

"It's our responsibly, yours, mine, and the packs."

"No, Seth. This is your master's grudge against a Volturi that hasn't done anything to you. This is his problem, not yours."

"I need you all to come back with me. The whole pack."

Ridiculous became an understatement.

"You're out of your mind."

"Maybe."

I backed away subconsciously to the exit. Listening to him talk began to shoot chills down my spine.

I had to get out of there.

"I've got to get back to the house, Ness will be worried."

He nodded and turned back to his fire, back to his rabbit, back to his abyss. _Back to his fleet_.

I ran with brute speed, almost not able to move fast enough. Fear was an emotion I rarely felt, but right now, it was coursing through my veins.

So I ran. I ran until the panic was leaking out my pores.

And while I ran, I planned.

*

*

*



** AuthorsNote: Quite honestly, I loved this chapter. I hope you did too. **

**IF SO! I would love for you to tell me about it**

**REVVEIW!!!**


	16. Chapter 14

**AuthorsNote: Ha! I got this out fast, huh? Quick like a bunny, laws yes. **

**Eh, truth is; im like ****WAY**** grounded, like i would rather be in prison. **

**So these should be popppin' out real quick. **

**Enjoy.**

Chapter14

(Jacob)

I burst through the door, my face twisted with anxiety.

"Carlisle!" I shouted, looking around the living room.

Jasper and Ness were sitting on the couch.

"Jake, what's wrong?" Ness asked, standing.

I walked over and took her face in my hands, planting a chaste kiss on her silk lips.

"Its Seth. I need to talk to Carlisle."

Her face remained calm, her eyes starring into mine. My heart rate slowing with every second I was reassured by the miracle of her brown orbs.

Without breaking eye contact, she graced me with a slow, tender kiss. I could practically feel the tension untangling itself from my shoulder, my neck, my back. She always had a way of making that happen.

She whispered, her lips still touching mine.

"Is there anything I can help with?"

"Not right now. Im not even sure of what I am trying to do. I just need to talk to Carlisle."

"He's in the study."

"Thanks. Ill be right back, okay?"

"I'll be waiting."

I kiss her on the cheek before sprinting up the stairs and down the long, honey wood paneled hallway.

Of course, Rosalie couldn't let me pass without antagonizing me.

"Hey dog. I need to talk to you." She called from her bedroom.

"Not now, Barbie." I growled, storming straight past her to Carlisle's office.

"Carlisle!" I called, barging straight up to his massive desk. He sat, his glasses down to the rim of his nose, shuffling through papers. He looked up. "Carlisle, it wasn't Seth choice. They forced him."

He sighed, taking off his glasses.

"I know."

I chuckled, just my luck.

"Of course you do."

"Edward came storming into my office about a week after we got back, just the way you are now."

"Why didn't anybody tell me!"

"It's irrelevant, Jacob. Nothing good would have come out of telling anybody, trust me."

"We cant let this be over! We can't let them take Seth and get away with it!"

"We don't have a choice. We surrendered that when we were negligent enough to leave Seth with those people."

"They aren't people."

Carlisle got up from his chair, and walked around his desk, placing his arms on my shoulders.

"Seth has come to terms with this. The only thing you can do as of now is attempt and be as accommodating as you possibly can."

"Have you _seen_ him? Have you seen how angry he is? He was screaming at me one minute, and trying to recruit me the next. It's not Seth. He's a completely different person. He pinned me against a wall today, yelling and crying at the same time. I wouldn't call that coming to terms."

He turned to his desk to grab a folder from a pile of papers. Printed in an elegant script I could barley read, was Seth's name.

"It's the imbalance, Jacob. That isn't his fault. Seth is suffering from certain, more thespian type of depression. When Seth was changed, it caused a massive imbalance for his neurotransmitters, these are natural substances that allow brain cells to communicate with one another, when Seth was changed, these transmitters lost their natural equilibrium and in turn their sense of direction, as a result, they became imbalanced. The transmitters had no means of communication. This all happened so suddenly, they didn't know how to balance themselves back out again.

Two transmitters implicated in depression are serotonin and norepinephrine. A deficiency in serotonin may cause the sleep problems, irritability, and anxiety associated with depression. Likewise, a decreased amount of norepinephrine, which regulates alertness and arousal, may contribute to the fatigue and depressed mood of the illness.

Cortisol is a hormone that the body produces in response to stress, anger, or fear. When Seth was changed, in sequence for him to be able to morph, his Cortisol count had to peak, in order for him to be able to register thoughts while in his different forms.

When Seth was changed, all of these finite chemicals were thrown way out of their comfort zone. That why all of this is happening. It's not his fault."

I lowered myself to the chair behind me and looked up to Carlisle. His eyes were solemn.

"Im not going to act like I know what any of that meant, doc. But I think understand. I just hate that we can't do anything to help."

Carlisle spoke while he walked behind his desk again. He opened a drawer and pulled out another folder. This time, the label on the top read: Endorphin Injection Test #1. He sat behind his desk, folded his hands, and began.

"Endorphins are endogenous opioid polypeptide compounds. They are produced by the pituitary gland and the hypothalamus in vertebrates during strenuous exercise, excitement, pain and orgasm. They can be used to create a sense of well-being."

"Translation?"

He chuckled.

"Endorphins make you happy."

"Okay. What does that have to do with Seth? He gets plenty of exercise. He practically sweats endorphins."

"Exactly! He does! You see, since the Seth's neurotransmitters have become disconnected, his body no longer registers the production of his endorphins. They run right through his body without being triggered by the transmitters."

"Okay. Is this going anywhere?"

"I have a theory."

"Okay."

"If we were to inject a enkephalin formula into his blood stream, the chemical would counteract the effect the Cortisol and Serotonin are having on his brain and his mood. If his neurotransmitters stopped recognizing the Serotonin and Cortisol, it would only recognize the endorphins. Do you see?"

"Not really, but it sounds better than anything I might have come up with. Let's do it tonight."

My eyes followed him while he walked from his desk, over to one of his hundreds of bookshelves. He slipped out a huge volume of a doctoral dissertation.

"Well, making a liquid remedy of enkephalin is going to be extremely difficult, considering it's a natural brain chemical. It could take me a few weeks to a few months."

My face fell.

"And what happens if you can't make it?"

His lips pulled together into a thin line, his brows pulled together, causing concerned lines to form in his forehead.

"We will have to wait for nature to run its course, and wait for his body to equalize his brains chemicals on their own."

"How long will that take?!"

Carlisle brought the book over to his desk and sat back down, his façade was more cautious. He sighed.

"Anywhere from 5 to 10 years. Maybe longer, considering he was thrown into this lifestyle forcefully."

Silence. Long, drawn out silence took over the room, the house, the world.

Carlisle went on.

"But, if it's any constellation, im very confident that my serum will work once its prepared. I just don't know how long that is going to take. Ill make it my first project though, you have my word."

I looked up to his consoling smirk, and couldn't help doing anything else besides smirking back.

"Alright, thanks doc. Keep me posted?"

"You bet."

I walked out of his office, my head down, my hopes high.

REVEIW!


	17. AUTHORS NOTE!

hey guyssss.

so im a dumbassss and now im grounded even worse.

like i have no door, no phone, no life.

im not aloud to use any means of commmunication.

that includes the computer.

in fact! because i love you all so much, im on it illllegally while my unsuspecting mother sleeps soundelessly in the next room!

but, i am trying so hard to get out the next chapter.

its just super difffficult.

sorrry im dumb and keeep getting caught for things even dumber.

love you?

(;


	18. Chapter 15

**AuthorsNote: You guys, i seriously love you all so much. thanksss a bunch for all the awesome reveiws(: they really do make me soooooooo i am so grateful; i stayed up allll night, waited for my mom to go to sleep so that i could write this chapter. my writers block was unbeatable, and i honestly didnt think i was gonnnna make this out. but! 4 hours;7 itunes playlists;& 2 pots of coffee later, i finished! its 5 in the morning and i have to go get ready for the grueling school day ahead of me. **

**im on no sleep;NO SLEEP. **

**but you people are pretty worth it (: **

**enjoy.  
**

Chapter15

(Renesmee)

"I'll be waiting." I whispered. The steam of his breath against mine sent shivers up my spine. The look in his eyes, his concern for Seth, sent them back down again.

I turned around with my hands covering my face after Jacob had sprung up the stairs after Carlisle.

His warm lips hadn't helped rid of the blush pooling under my cheek, and I knew that Jasper would be waiting the second I turned around with some sort of joke about my sun kissed cheeks, his eyes would be lit with same awkwardness that plundered my own complexion.

"Oh, young love." Jasper whispered, flicking off the TV and turning to face me. His blue jeans were bunched around the bare of his ankles. His toenails were perfectly sculpted and filed, something I always noticed about him. Expertly toned arms cradled his head as he sat, his eyes jeering, waiting for whatever I was going to say next.

I smiled, stupidly. My lips stretching tighter as the seconds wore on. When I tried to say something the grin would take my words.

"Are you in love, Nessie? Is our little Loch Ness in love?"

I took this question seriously, I wasn't quite sure I knew why. The smile on my face faltered, but still never left my eyes while I looked to Jasper.

"I am."

The door shot open and I hid my head in the nearest pillow while Daddy and Alice walked in. From the ecstatic look on my favorite pixie's face, she had obviously heard the entire conversation.

"I knew it." She squealed, curling into Jaspers lap and planting the quick, but passionate kiss he had been waiting for since before she walked in the door. He wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her closer. I ached for Jacob.

Daddy, clad with that award winning smile, made his was to that beloved piano of his and began playing my lullaby, ending that conversation. He winked when I gave him an appreciative smile.

I wasn't sure why I was so embarrassed, apparently I took after my mother when it came to that.

If I was proud of anything, it was Jacob. I didn't think that I had to admit that I was in love with him. I thought that it was just assumed, like a fundamental force of nature.

I turned to Alice, planning on asking her about our hunting trip this weekend. Her eyes were a million miles, a vision.

In the corner of the room, the pianos harsh, lowest octave crashed through my ear drums. My hands shot to cover my ears. My father's tortured grunt penetrated the reverberation of the pianos groan while he stormed out of the room. Out the bay window, I saw his blurred figure dart into the trees.

I turned to Alice, my eyes bent with the confusion of what just happened. Jasper lifted Alice off his lap, and went in the woods after his brother.

My Aunt whipped her tiny little head back and forth, her lips pulled to a smirk.

"Alice! What did you see? What's wrong with them?"

She crossed the room at lightning speed, throwing herself onto the couch next to me.

"It was you and Jacob."

My eyebrows crossed to a skeptical line.

"Yeah?"

"Your first time."

Her giggles shook with no bounds, symphonious bells of mirth. I groaned.

"Dad saw it?"

She nodded with a smile.

"Yup. But only the foreplay, don't worry."

I feel back, then sideways, laying my head in her lap, looking to her face.

"That's so gross."

"I wouldn't say that."

Her tiny fingers began to braid my hair.

"Should I go talk to him, Alice? I can't even imagine what he is thinking."

"Hold that thought. Let me check." Her eyes faded to the future, while her fingers were still much in the present, working their magic on my hair while she wove a tight-but therapeutic-French braid. While she was away I focused on the calming pattern of the way she entwined and tucked my long strands, attempting to get my mind off my poor Daddy, the image of my foreplay etched into his brain forever.

With that, Alice was back.

"No, no, no. The last thing he wants is the sex talk from you right now." She secured the end of the first braid with a rubber band that seemed to appear from out of nowhere, and then rounded on the second. I had nothing to say.

"You don't seem very surprised about it." She said, dubiously.

"About what?"

She let out a rush of cold air. "About this, you and Jake. You're first time."

"Can't say that I am. I knew it was going to happen soon. I know that he wants to. He's waited long enough. And I don't think I would really mind it either."

I opened my eyes to hers after she didn't answer.

"Is that bad of me to consider?"

"Not at all Nessie. It's perfectly natural. I just don't want you to do something your not comfortable with. You _are_ only 7 years old. Don't forget that."

I chuckled, this was unexpected. I thought that when this talk came around Alice, court jester of kink, would be providing me with every tip in the book, every piece of information I would need for a thing like this.

"I'm 7 and nine months, Aunt Alice."

She giggled, those bells returning to her fretful tone.

"That you are."

She kissed my forehead while she tied up the end of my second braid.

Right on cue.

Jake came stomping down the stairs, his eyes were full of some type of determination.

It couldn't be…? No. No way. I sat up, a smile on my face despite the hesitant balance of my thoughts. Im sure I would know what he was thinking soon enough, I always do.

"All done with Carlisle?" I asked, crossing the room to take his hand, already leading him out the door regardless of my question.

"Yup. Let's get out of here. I want to go up to the trails with you before I have to go meet Sam."

"Sounds perfect." I sighed, more than relieved to have some time alone with him for the day.

"Have fun you guys!" Emmet called out the window of his bedroom while we crossed over the driveway, leading us and our entangled hands to the sweet privacy of the forest.

Just before disappearing into the bush, I heard Alice's giggling voice far in the background of the rustling leaves and tweeting birds: "But not too much fun."

***

I outran Jasper to the cottage, slamming the front door to make my message more than clear. I sent a bodily message of thanks to my brother for his concern, but now was simply not the time.

I needed some alone time with my wife, to discuss what I just saw.

Jacob and my baby girl, entangled on the snowcapped peak of Forks highest mountain, the trees their only coverage, Jacob her only source of warmth. His lips were exploring her skin, her eyes closed, mouth open, uncertainty hidden behind her closed lids, experiencing a new type of love. Jacob was trembling, visibly nervous, trying not to overstep his boundaries, but obviously wanting to.

I rapped my head on the door after I closed it, trying to physically bang the image out of my head, praying to whatever god above that Alice wasn't right about this one.

That was my daughter that he was lusting after, my flesh and blood.

While I proceeded to hammer my head, slowly disassembling my beloved cottage, I thought of Charlie. I thought of what he must have been feeling the night of his daughters wedding. How helpless he must have thought, knowing that his daughters innocence was only hours from being lost.

I wondered if he approved of the physical feelings I had for Bella. I had the sudden, persistent urge to apologize to him for the discomfort that feeling must have caused.

I regretted the feelings I had that night for another mans daughter. That's something no father should have to think of, let alone witness.

I groaned: "Belllllllllllllla." My head swung around, my eyes to the floor; I saw the pair of feet that I had memorized so many times before and instinctively grabbed the miracle of her waist. My arms laced around the comfort I so desperately needed. My face rested in the warmth of her neck, planting kisses I hadn't revisited since yesterday.

"What's the matter, hubby?" She chuckled. "I see you were testing the structural standing of our cottage; not a very legitimate test, doing it with your head and all, but whatever."

"We need to talk." I groaned, still into her neck.

"Are you breaking up with me?"

At that, my head shot up, my eyes glaring into hers, not appreciating the sarcasm.

"Jacob Black is officially trying to _seduce_ our daughter."

The humor in her eyes evaporated, as I predicated.

"Pardon?" She spat, pulling me to the couch. We sat facing one another, not touching, not cuddling, a seating arrangement that always meant nothing but the utmost of business.

"Alice had a vision, Bella." Idly, I shuddered at the memory.

"Of?" I shrank against the couch.

"Don't make me remember it again, love. Please. I can't handle it."

She leaned against me, silent.

"What do we do?" I pleaded. I was desperate for this not to happen. She was so young, so naïve, not remotely ready for such an emotional, such a passionate exchange of feelings.

"Im not sure, im as new to this as you are." She pulled my head to her chest and we lay together, like that, wrapped, for awhile; again, not caring how long.

"I shouldn't have allowed them…" I took back my words immediately, seeing the piercing look in my wife's eyes.

"_We_ shouldn't have allowed them to get together so early. I knew this would happen. Why else would he want to be with her?"

She thought before speaking up again.

"He's been with her for eight months before even considering it. That's pretty impressive, he is a growing man."

"He's not a man, Bella."

She giggled. "Not yet,"

My scowl snapped the humor in her remark. She got serious again, respecting my concern.

"Joking, Edward, don't worry. I don't like this either."

"They should wait like we did. Wait until they are married." I said after awhile, breaking the comfortable, thoughtful silence that wrapped around us, almost as taut as our embrace itself.

She considered this. She considered this for a long time, until finally, thankfully stretching me into her minds graceful barrier and remembering for the both of us, my advice to her months before.

I saw myself in her mind, my words of wisdom: "Bella, I didn't think that it was possible for anybody to love another person as much as I love you." I paused, letting her brace herself, "But, my dear. That boy loves our Renesmee more than I thought possible. I understand his intentions, witch are nothing but the best for her, and I am confident that he would never do anything to harm her, or make her feel taken advantage of. He needs her to be happy almost as much as he needs himself to be happy. He feels horribly for having romantic feelings for her ahead of schedule, he wants her to have a childhood just as much as we do. He is being more careful with her than he needs, or wants to be, and if anybody knows this, it's me Bella. Do you honestly think I would have been okay with this if I knew it would bring them anything but joy? Or if I knew he wanted merely her body? He wants to be the one to make her happy. He doesn't want to have to lie to her. He wants to start their life together. I don't see anything wrong with his feelings."

I lifted my head, her arms still wrapped around my neck.

Her eyes were serious, and I practically melted into their golden glow. Her lips were calm while I kissed them, compliant, reassuring.

She spoke with a whisper. If human ears were as close as I was, they wouldn't have a chance at detecting her words.

"They will when their ready. They will know, just like we did."

She kissed my lips again before laying my head back to its original position of ease.

I saw into her thoughts once again, my own words echoing in the barriers of my own brain: "Bella, I know that you just want her to be okay, you want that as much as I do. But I also know that Jacob will do nothing but good things for her. She has never really been a child Bella, she is already grown up. It's not fair to withhold things from her that she would have wanted to know, she deserves nothing but the truth. Even as her parents, it's still not our decision who she spends her time with. But if it was, I couldn't pick a better person for her. He truly loves her Bella, with his whole heart."

Her previous whisper interrupted her memory.

"They will be ok, Edward. I promise you that with my whole heart."

We made love well into the night, exchanging words of devotion. We went slow, worshiping each others bodies with more love than we thought possible to muster.

"Oh, how I love you Isabella. Oh, how you've saved me."

***

**REVEIW!**


	19. Chapter 16

**AuthorsNote: SO...VERY...TIRED...NEED...SLEEP...NOW!**

Chapter16

(Jacob)

"So then Embry and Leah got into, the same stupid stuff. Leah ends up breaking Embry's leg, pushing him off that waterfall. He won't be out of bed for another 4 days."

She nodded along with me, and I wondered if she was really listening. Her cool hand entangled with mine while we walked through the privacy of our favorite open forest, her long hair brushed the back of my arm when her head rested on my shoulder.

The trees were spread perfectly; their brown trunks accented by the floating green of the moss, highlighted with leaves, having already succumbed to the harsh chill of this year's autumn. The forest was always so beautiful this time of year.

"Babe?" I whispered in her ear, stopping to pull her into my arms. I would figure out what was bothering her.

"What's got you so distracted?"

She big, puppy dog eyes looked into mine before she pressed her face to my chest, exhaling her frustration.

"It's nothing."

I mimicked her hefty breathing, chuckling along.

"It's something."

The arms that were pinned to her sides wrapped around my waist. Her face looked up to mine, the curves of her face tilted upward to meet my curious gaze. Her dimples magnified at the position, and I marveled at their depth for the time being.

"Something Alice saw today, kind of _surprised_ me."

I reached to feel the contours of her cheeky grin.

"What did Alice see today that surprised you?"

She laughed under my caress.

"Us."

"Elaborate?"

"Our first time…"

My mouth dropped slightly while I laughed. I laughed out loud.

"That's not awkward at all." I held her tighter, kissing her cheek before continuing. "I'm sorry. That must have been brutal."

"Dad saw it too."

Shock.

"No."

Her dimples disappeared while she buried her face back into my shirt, and lifted her arms and pulled at the fabric, clinging to it.

She groaned: "Yes."

Silence.

"He's going to kill me. I'm going to die. He is going to tear me to pieces."

Her facial expression was annoyed when she turned back up to me. Perfectly sculpted eyebrows crossed to an aggravated line, her mouth turning into a small pout of censure. She let out another sweet, chilled breath and it twisted around my face, making the shivers crawling up my spine possible.

I hated when these typed of situations happened. When I was with her, standing with her, holding her, touching, looking at her, kissing her, whatever. It made it so hard for me to focus on anything else but where her hands were and the simple fact that she was holding me back, the way I had wanted her to for so long.

"Don't do that, no he's not. It was just really uncomfortable."

"I can't even imagine. What did he do?"

"Just ran into the woods, probably talking to my mom right now."

"Bella really will kill me. She won't even think twice about it."

She considered this, before snapping the pressing tension with her giggles. Glorious as they are, it wasn't the right time for laughter.

"I don't doubt that at all, actually."

Our foreheads pressed while I bent down to her level. Neither of us spoke for awhile. It was easy to focus on the birds in the distance, the crickets hidden away from the naked eye.

I wasn't sure what possessed me to ask this question, it seems so inappropriate, especially when the subject hung in the tension around us, whipping through her silken hair like the wind itself; the true elephant in the room.

"Have you thought about it?"

She seemed to be happy that I had asked the question before she was forced to.

"Of course. Of course I've thought about it…have you?"

"I don't even want to think about it until you're ready for me to. I don't even want the thought running through my head until you're completely comfortable with it. I'm not going to ruin what we have over something like _that_."

"I can't tell you what to think Jake." She giggled, apparently charmed by my nervous ramblings.

"Yes, you can."

My favorite pair of arms clung around my waist, tighter than they were before. I could hear her smile.

"You have me absolutely and unconditionally," I twined her fingers with mine between us, leading her eyes to the way my warmth would caress her, sliding imaginary circles in every which way. "Wrapped around these little fingers of yours." I kissed the tips of her hands, from thumb to pinkie. "I believe in terms of street lingo, the kids on the corner refer to it as 'whipped'."

She kissed my palm, smiling.

"In that case, can I be honest?" She whispered.

"Always."

Her deep breath was low and shaken; filled with nerves. The next sentence was blurted, quick: "I want to wait."

Before I could open my mouth to respond, she had already stopped me, trying to explain herself, even though there was no reason too.

Sure, I wanted her body almost as much as I wanted her mind, her heart, her soul; but if sex was something that wouldn't come until later, have it be months or years, than it was okay with me to wait. I was in no rush.

"For what…?" She continued, "I'm not sure. I'm not asking for marriage or whatever before, not that we need to get into that conversation right now." Her eyes widened, her apprehension in pressuring me was delectable. I just had to enjoy it. "It's just that I am honestly just getting used to my body and everything it's capable of. I just need some time to get used to all these changes before I move on with something more to learn."

Her fanaticisms were so adorable I had to laugh. She heaved in response.

"Jake. I'm trying to have a serious relationship talk here. Sex is going to be a part of this soon enough. If we can't get through a conversation about it, than all hope is lost."

I rolled my eyes, taking her head in my hands, twisting my fingers in her hair, still cool from her hands.

"We can talk. It's just, there's no reason too."

The look in her eyes had shown that she didn't understand. I needed to clarify before I came off the wrong way.

"Dimples, I want whatever you want, whenever you want it. I'll take as little, or as much from you as you are willing to give me. This entire relationship is moving at your pace, all the time. You've got all of me."

She nodded, a blush creeping up her arms, a welcome guest.

"So the balls in my court?"

Her analogy was completely juvenile, and I laughed again.

"No? There isn't a ball?"

She turned and stomped on without me, annoyed. The chuckles coming out of me were contagious. I stopped her with an arm, catching her around her stomach and pulling her back into me.

I whispered in her ear: "The balls in your court."

My sully attempt to be romantic backfired when she shot back: "What ball?"

I kept walking, knowing her gaze was still lingering on my back, loving it.

Her voice stopped me. Its pitch was no longer playful, but serious. I turned around at the sound of my name. Her eyes were somber. I would have done anything to take that look away. The trees stood behind her, colossal compared to her size.

"Thank you so much for understanding, really. I know that you do." She shrugged her shoulders. "But I don't want you to go home and think in the back of your head that I'm having doubts, or that I don't want you, that I don't want this, because I do, more than anything. I just don't know if I would even know how to…go about it. I guess I just really want you to understand."

I would have had doubts, if I was being honest. I would have gone home tonight, and lay restlessly in bed, over analyzing every word out of her mouth. I would have read into it. I would have doubted if this was right and eventually, I would have doubt the relationship itself, like I always ended up doing.

My face wasn't completely hiding my emotions. I was disappointed in myself for doubting her; even more disappointed that she saw through it.

"I promise you that I get it. It's really not a big deal." The physical distance between us got to me, and I strode over to take her hand before continuing down the path.

A few moments later, that girl blurted out the most wonderful words I had ever heard.

"I'm in love with you, Jacob. You know that, don't you?"

In the months we had been together, she had never actually said the words, not yet. Even now, transferring from friends to more was a challenge. The words had a certain meaning now, a certain weight. Their influence was intoxicating. I had dreamt of those types of words since I can remember understanding their power.

I kissed her flushed cheeks.

"I do now." Her lips found mine and I was in paradise. The soft flesh massaged mine, gliding rhythmically to their own beat. Her arms wound around my neck while I found the small of her back. She arched to me, molded almost.

It was times like these, in the middle of the evergreen forest, surrounded by the invigorating perfume of clean grass and moistened moss along the trees that made me believe I was dreaming. It's the way her heartbeat against mine that made me want to pinch myself.

She whispered in my ear. "I want to tell you more often. Every day; every hour." I smiled and kissed the ear parallel to mine.

"I would tell you every second if it meant you would tell me every hour. I love hearing you say it."

"I love you."

"I wish there was a word for it. I wish I could describe it. This…feeling. There's no way it's just, love. Love is so mundane to what I feel for you."

She chuckled and craned her neck to look at me. "You're becoming quite the poet."

With that, I decided to keep it simple.

"I love you."

And I did. And I would, until whatever force powerful enough would come along and suck the very blood from my veins, I would love this girl.


	20. Chapter 17

**AuthorsNote: Thanks so much for all the encouragement you guys(: i really just cant tell you how much i appreciate it. Hence; why these chapters are getting out so fast? (;**

**Now..Please, please enjoy. **

**This is all for you.  
**

Chapter17

(Esme)

The lines drew themselves like poetry. The white against the blue of the paper got more and more intricate as time wore on. Images of stained-glass windows and wooden beams below high ceilings carved themselves through the barriers of my imagination. An extra story drew onto the cabin and I leaned back to make sure the measurements were right for the sunroom I had attached to the deck. I labeled all the bedrooms and bathroom before editing a new symbol for a fireplace on my key at the bottom of the page.

I took a break from the rest of my sketches to construct a cabin for Seth. It was horrible, knowing that he was living in some cave out in the woods. I had never seen it myself. Carlisle didn't like the idea of me going out to visit him. He said that it was something I truly didn't need to see, that my heart wouldn't be able to take it. He was right, of course, he always was. In a way, I didn't want to have to see Seth that way; it was just a horrible feeling, knowing that there wasn't anything I could do. So, building him this cabin was my way of contributing. It would break my heart for him to think that I wasn't thinking of him.

Everybody was doing one thing or another to help Seth. Carlisle had his enkephalin injections, which he took a leave from the hospital for and worked on day and night. Alice sat in the backyard for hours upon hours by herself, eyes closed in concentration, trying to see his future. She constantly stressed about the barrier and I could tell she was determined, more than anything, to get past it. Of course, with time, I was more than confident that she would. Jasper sat beside her, trying to send positive waves in his direction. He was as adamant as Alice. I smiled, thinking about how they were probably sitting back there right now.

I got up to check, walking down to the living room to look out the window. I picked up a t-shirt thrown on couch all the way; sprinting down to the washing machine to throw it in with the load I just started not more than 20 minutes ago. I went back to the living room and cleaned up a little bit more before finally going to the window.

Alice and Jasper lay, twined to one another in the grass, both laughing hysterically; their chuckles brought them closer together. When the laughter died down the kissing started; my cue to avert my eyes. I turned with a smile, adoring their bliss.

I sat back to my blueprint; sketching the layout for the garden in the backyard. Beethoven played lightly in the background, inspiring the mural of a black and white grand piano that would someday be plastered on the walls of Seth's new living room.

Bella and Renesmee had been over at Emily's house everyday this week, preparing mound after endless mound of food for Seth. Bella said that it could help control his urge to kill for food at night, and hopefully, that would make a difference with his guilt for the things he does when the sun is down, when his actions are controlled by the moon. When they made their quota for the day, they would send it off with Sam or Emmet, the other members of the pack would help when the load got to be too much. And sometimes, when there was too much food for them to carry, Rose would help haul the bags up the mountain to Seth.

Rose was so tough, so strong, quite honestly, stronger than some of her brothers or sisters, she could act like she didn't care for as long as she had too, but when things got real, she was always there. I thought back to Bella's pregnancy, how she was so supportive, the only one so supportive of Bella's decision. She guarded her with her life, I knew she did. If it wasn't for Rose, I really don't believe Renesmee would be in this world. Rosalie, my beautiful Rose, she was the strongest out of all of us during that time, during the time when we all couldn't seem to even think, she thought for us.

But no matter how stable I believed her to be, I knew my Rosalie, and I knew that Seth's situation was eating her up inside.

She would never admit it, but I knew she had carried a little bit of the blame on her shoulders. She felt that she led us to the wolves; that she had allowed herself to be tricked. I tried to console her in a way; it was difficult since she wouldn't talk about it. She was it beyond suggestion, her mind was made up.

Edward and the rest of the pack went out twice a day, collecting shedded hairs along Seth's paths. This one job was a full time one. As time wore on, the hairs grew longer and longer, thicker and thicker, more and more potent. Edward constantly worried about the Volturi's trackers, something the rest of us failed to think of. Edward said that Seth was still there enemy, and needed to take the nessacary precautions for protection. Seth didn't care enough to shave, or burn the hair. Seth wanted the Volturi to find him, he didn't care. The thought broke my heart. Edward couldn't get close enough to shave Seth, but he made up for it by making sure Seth's scent wasn't anywhere it didn't need to be.

I think his main concern was Renesmee.

He didn't want the Volturi to even remember her existence. Nothing was safe when it came to them. If they came back here, searching for Seth, but accidentally stumbled upon Nessie, they would want to take her.

And we would start a war.

Our world as we know it would come to an abrupt stop.

So we all helped picking up after Seth. If we caught his scent, which was very hard to miss, we wouldn't stop until we got rid of it.

I remembered the first time I followed a scent, the stench of wet bark on a rotten tree led me 20 miles out of Forks.

What I came too has haunted me since I saw it. I find myself imagining the rotting carcasses every time I close my eyes, or every time I run into the woods.

***

The smell got stronger and stronger as I ran up the mountain that day, while I ran I picked up all the shedded hairs I could find with lightning speed. I stuffed them in the bag I carried and continued to run deeper into the tress. Absently minded, I bent to pick up a hair, and touched _it_ instead.

In a tangle of blood, smothered with gore, were the rotting bodies of two teenage boys. Their eyes were open, wide with terror. Their hair was matted to their faces, dried with the red cement of death. They couldn't have been older than 18 or 19. Their open gashes showed the way their muscle was ripped from their insides, their flesh ripped from their bodies every where you looked. I was dry heaving at the stench, which was laced with Seth's cologne; it forced itself into my nose and clouded my brain. Every inch of the boys was torn, shredded, distorted. I turned away and began digging into the mossen soil. I flung it to the side in a panic, dry sobs taking over my even breath. I plucked the potent hairs from the ground as I worked, stuffing them into the brimming bag beside me.

Suddenly I felt arms pull me from the hole I had been working on so fervently. Carlisle cradled my shaking body to his while I cried, out of panic or sympathy, I wasn't sure. Edward, Jasper, and Emmet continued with the hole while Carlisle led me away, a cool hand covering my eyes, another pinching the end of my nose.

I haven't followed another one of Seth's trails since.

***

My husband's arms encircled me, bringing me back to the present. I inhaled his scent deeply, dizzied by the way it purified my insides. The trail was all but forgotten.

"I've missed you today." His arm lips kissed my temple while he massaged the back of my neck, working his way down my shoulders. "Sorry for being so busy."

My eyes were still closed, savoring the protection of his fingers on my skin. "I understand."

He swirled me around in my chair and planted a soft kiss on my lips. "You always do."

He stole a glance at my blueprint, chuckling.

"I thought you said you were going to keep it simple?"

I sighed. "It started out that way."

"It always does."

I stood and slipped my arms around his neck, savoring his presence.

"How is everything going with the injections?"

"It's frustrating. I've got a lot of reading to do tonight, and hopefully I can figure out all the kinks. It might put me back awhile though." He exhaled, his warm breathe warming the back of my neck while my head rested on his shoulder. "I just want this all to be over and done with. It's caused everybody enough pain. If I could just go back…"

"Hey," I whispered, lifting my head to look him in the eye. "What did we talk about. Don't ever go there, no regrets, remember?"

"I hate those dogs for causing all of this. I hate seeing the people I love in this much pain. I swear, angel. The day I saw you on that trail was one of the worst days I've had in a long time. This needs to be over. If I regret anything, it was going to see those wolves."

I held his head between my hands, his eyes were closed. This was Carlisle, being vulnerable. This was my husband, allowing me to see into his own soul. I took these moments seriously, knowing they didn't come along too often. Carlisle was always so sure of everything, never needed guidance or advice. When he allowed himself to be critiqued, I did it with the upmost sincerity.

"In a way, this has brought us all together. I have never seen the kids pull together like this since Bella was pregnant."

He chuckled.

"Why are we all so reunited when chaos comes along? Why can't we be united all the time? The second the problem goes away, the unison does. I don't get it."

"What matters is that we _do _come together when chaos comes. We always have, always will. We are a family because of it."

When he kissed me he did it with appreciation, and I kissed him back with compassion. We ended up on the couch of his study. I lay, cuddled to him while we talked the entire thing out.

He sat and told me about his serum, the steps he was taking to perfect the injections. He told me his fear of the side effects, he showed me his determination. He poured through book after book with me by his side that night. I soaked in every word out of his mouth, every expression to greet the holy contours of his face.

As time wore on, my confidence in my husband grew.

By the end of that night, I believed it was only a matter of time before this was all just a distant memory.

***

***

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	21. Chapter 18

**AuthorsNote: AH! soooo sorrrrrrry . but this is allll i've got time for. im chuckin it long hand kids, give me time. **

**love you, still. **

**hope the feeling is mutual.  
**

Chapter18

(Alice)

I swayed, with my legs crossed and eyes clasped shut. The colors were motionless behind closed lids, deep shades of black fading to navy blues and lighter grays while time stood stationary. The grass under me was cool, the air hot. I leaned my head back and the breeze rippled through my hair, internally wishing for the old sensation of goose bumps to follow the sensation, to spread it across the boundaries of my unyielding flesh. I let the sound of the churning river in the distance send me further into my mind. I sank deeper and deeper with every passing second, succumbing to the relaxation while I searched the future for signs.

Signs of what, exactly, I wasn't sure.

It's been a year since Seth has been home, and I haven't seen a single vision about what his future holds. I sat out in this yard everyday for at least 3 hours, trying to find something, but came up empty handed every time.

I focused on his face, his scent, his cave, and his trails, but I never helped.

One thing I always saw, that I never wanted to, were his kills; through the minds of his prey; teenage boys doing drugs in the forest, old men on hunting trips, newly-wed couples looking for a place to build their new house for their unborn child, policemen doing searches for the missing bodies, detectives setting the crime scene.

The only way we could see Seth was through Jasper. Jasper felt his grief in the morning. Jasper felt every ounce of it.

He would beg me to kill him, he would scream to me for it. He felt every time Seth would jump from a high tree or cliff and live, Jasper felt every time he tried to bludgeon himself with a rock, Jasper felt when Seth tried to shoot himself with the hunter's gun. He felt every single last one of those 46 bullets; he felt every stab of the pocket knife, he felt every time Seth would dive into a lake and fight not to come back up.

I would beg him to go inside, to stay away from the pain, to not focus on Seth. But he was determined. He thought by feeling some of Seth's pain, he would take the majority of it away.

I shivered while I averted my mind from the image of Jasper trying to light himself on fire, Carlisle, Emmet and Edward trying to pull him out of the flames, Esme holding me back while I fought to get to him, Bella, Jacob and Rose trying to hide Renesmee's eyes.

I focused back, to the black.

I saw the dim flow in waves through my mind; I concentrated on going further into the void of precious time.

Colors got brighter, and quickly turned into shapes, then into talking shapes, then into the image of Jacob and Nessie on the mountain top again; a crying Renesmee kissing through her tears, Jacob taking her face in his hands, kissing back with a passion that I obviously couldn't fathom.

I smiled, and tossed the image away, respecting their privacy.

The image morphed to a darkened forest, a massive, ravenous white wolf with bloodshot eyes chasing a black bear. Fortunately, no people would die tonight.

I flipped the image before Seth caught up with his prey, hating to see him in action.

The bear was cornered to the trees before the black mass turned into Carlisle and his lab.

Beakers pointed from the table from every direction, erect with a certain hope while Carlisle combined their mixtures, relentless. His eyebrows were crossed in concentration and I sunk deeper, trying not to loose this vision, eager for a glimpse at the right serum fusion for Seth.

My eyes clenched tighter while Carlisle added a clear mixture to a yellow one, then that to a brown one. He stirred while he ran to the other side of the table to put the mixture on a hotplate, still stirred while the mixture began to boil, steam rising from the beaker, fogging the inside. His smile grew when the mixture began to pop in the container. The beaker was removed from the hotplate and the serum transferred to a different bottle. Carlisle, clad with a toothy grin, then transferred the serum to another bottle, then stirred in a power before transferring it into a glass bottle, a glass bottle used for removal of its contents by needle.

The bottle was labeled: Seth Working Serum; Inject Whole Bottle.

My delighted squeal took me away from the vision.

Carlisle got it right, he fixed Seth.

I got up from my position of tranquility and darted to the house at inhuman speeds. I crashed through the living room, ignoring the odd looks from my family, who exactly, I wasn't sure. I ran to Carlisle's office and busted through the door, interrupting his studies.

He looked up from his beakers with confusion.

"Carlisle! Don't stop what you're doing! Whatever you just thought, do it!"

His face grew serious while he trotted from his desk to the other table full of different beakers.

My vision replayed itself in front of me while anticipation crept in my stomach to watch the final outcome; the injection bottle full to its brim.

By time he began mixing the powder, the family was crowded around the edge of his work station, watchful with eyes of the same eagerness that crowded my stomach with the bubble, ready to burst.

**AuthorsNote: Also, thinking of changing the stories name. This name is kinda lame. **

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	22. Chapter 19

**AuthorsNote: I am SO sorry this took so long. I hope you enjoy it, I re-wrote it 3 times. Review, tell me your still into this story. Enjoy :)**

Chapter19

(Jacob)

We were all joined in the dining room, the entire family. Nessie was at my side, her hands joined with mine under cover of the table. The small bottle in the middle of the table drew all our eyes like gravity. I looked to Carlisle, deciding to break the barrier of silence that built up over time.

Emmet beat me to it.

"When do we go?"

Carlisle considered this, the intricate wheels and pulleys that filled his brain working wonders behind steady eyes.

"Tonight; When he is changed, when his hormones are heightened."

Edward interjected.

"Shouldn't we wait for a full moon; the Cortisol will be peaked because of the changed. Serotonin will be almost 30% of his overall blood volume; it will make results of the enkephalin more concentrated if it hits the chemicals directly."

I think we all sometimes forgot about Edward's many medical degrees.

"True, but; the full moon makes Seth more ravenous due to the peak in his hormones. If we are being honest with ourselves, Seth is stronger. And will be a lot stronger during a full moon. I'm not willing to deal with the consequences of an accident."

Emmet spoke up again, this time, a little more lighthearted.

"Is this going to be like, a sneak attack? Or is he going to be okay with us sticking a needle in his arm?"

"No, no, no. If we even get too close without him being restrained he will just run. When he is changed, he will always feel as if his territory is being subjected. I'm not even sure how we are going to get hold of him long enough to administer the injection."

Bella looked up to Carlisle, signaling an idea.

"Why don't you just restrain him before he's changed? That way you could maybe even get him to agree to you giving him the injection."

This was the point where I tried to avert my eyes. Edward turned to her, a smile bright in his eyes. And she would give that smirk where you knew that if she could, she would be blushing. He grabbed her hand and twined their fingers on top of the table, keeping eye contact while he kissed her on the nose.

I didn't even want to know the silent conversation they were probably having.

I decided it was time to secure my place among the party.

"I'll need to be there." I said, confident. "I don't think that Seth would be okay with this if I wasn't."

When I looked around the table, I wasn't sure what it was that made me so uneasy. Their faces were blank, every pair of metallic eyes doing everything in their power to avoid contact with mine, wide and serious.

She spoke then, her words rushed; frantic.

"No. You're not going. It's too dangerous."

I looked to her, the way she sat on the edge of her seat, the way her fingers clamped tightly now around mine. Her face was white. Goosebumps patterned across her arms.

"Ness,"

"No. You can't. He will change you. He's stronger, Jake. "

"We can talk about this later."

She turned more toward me, closer.

"Or, we can talk about it now."

This conversation now was hopeless. I turned to Carlisle; his face was turned to the table, trying to respect our privacy, something Nessie didn't value.

"I'm his brother, his best friend. I promised I would help him."

Anxiety began to bubble within me. There was no way I could be stopped from being there while this was happening. I needed to be there for Seth. He needed me. He needed me more than anybody at this point.

"I agree,"

Nessie heaved, cutting of Carlisle, who waited patiently to continue. Edward shot her his warning eyes.

"I think Jacob should be there Ness; but only for the restraint, not the actual injection. He can leave before Seth even changes."

She pulled her hands from mine, and stomped from the dining room up the stairs.

I got up to follow, until I felt a cool hand on my shoulder.

"She's only worried. Don't fight with her, please."

It was Esme, calm, as she always was. She radiated that onto me, and I knew too that fighting with Renesmee was not the solution.

"Promise." I gave her a smirk, and walked the stairs to her balcony, to where I knew she would be waiting to ignore my reassurance.

***

I felt warm arms embrace me from behind. They twined tight around my waist and I closed my eyes, savoring the kisses he was planting on my neck. My breathing peaked and he laughed hot exhales through my hair while he pushed it aside. I starred to the setting sun, the way its rays shadowed the greens in the forest. I watched a deer sprint along its boundaries and I longed to stretch my legs, to run along with the deer, to get rid of this knot in the pit of my stomach. His kisses nibbled along my ear, and I spoke.

"They can handle this without you."

"I know they can, but I am going to be there for Seth while they do."

I turned, and his arms held me tighter. His eyes were so calm, and I couldn't even stand to look at them. I wouldn't let him convince me that this was okay, because it wasn't.

"It amazes me after all we have been through to get here, to get _this_," I showed him that I was referring to the way his arms were around me, the way I hung on his neck with mine with soft kisses on his arms, across his chest.

"It amazes me that you are so willing to risk it."

The only sounds I would hear for the next, the longest 30 seconds of my life would be of the deer that still pranced along the trees. Its carefree footwork marked the seconds I waited for his reply. The rustle of the bushes was the only noise while his face dropped, while his mouth stammered for a reply.

"Jacob, you being there while Seth is violent; while he doesn't care what he's doing or who he's is doing it to, is a massive possibility that _this_ will be lost. Bottom line; he is stronger than you, you are not safe from his bites, and you are not going."

The vibrations of his laughter pulled our embrace apart. I starred, watching the wrinkles of his eyes, the whites of his teeth. I rolled my eyes while his chuckles sunk deeper to his chest. His hands wrapped around my face while he kissed me, still laughing against my still lips.

"Look at you. Look at my girl, all serious. _You're not going_ she says. You're not the hardass you think you are; your way to adorable for that, dimples."

This time while he kissed me, he pinched my cheeks, pulling me in closer; and this time, I kissed back. It still made me weak in the knees, how when our mouths would mold together, hot and cold would blend. He pulled away, hands still on my face.

"I _am _going, because I _am_ going to be there for Seth. I promise you with everything I have that I will come back to you in one piece. If things get out of hand, I will go. Promise."

He kissed me again. My thoughts were jumbled, a mixture of admiration, overpowered by anxiety. The feeling was spreading through me. Every word out of his mouth convincing me more to let him go, to let him risk the last ounce of humanity supposedly he held dear.

"Of course, my bloodthirsty goddess, considering that you are the object of my imprintation, and by extension, my everlasting devotion, you also are the ruler of my body and mind. If you tell me that I simply cannot go, I simply will not be able to. But I know that you love me enough to understand why I have to be there, and why you need to let me do this."

***

That night when they headed out, I watched him go, waving while he ran to catch up with the rest of them. I watched the other half of me sprinting into the woods with a smile on his face while he risked both of our lives.


End file.
